Aw, what happened Kapi? What's wrong? *hugs*

I can relate on the shitty feeling of wanting to trust somebody but being unable. Being guarded seems like a natural response to being repeatedly lied to or betrayed, especially since trusting someone nearly a game of chance... After you lose so many rolls of the dice, your desire to keep playing decreases.

Badly tortured metaphors aside, it's not necessarily so bad having issues with building trust. Honestly, not many folks are worth it. It also feels that much more spectacular when you DO find somebody you're able to trust, provided you're able to maintain that trust... I know you're being vague and that we're basically strangers, but I can't tell which you're having problems with.

Either way, hope you feel better soon.