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going away for a while
11 years ago
let's touch the booty
I'll still be around:managing submissions/reading journals/checking notes, but I'll just be mostly invisible for some time. I'll work on drawings, but I probably won't be posting the little sketches I fill my time with, just commissions and stuff.
It's just lately I've had a lot to think about, like going out into the world, relationship stuff, and friend problems-and (even though it's ridiculous that it has to be this way) I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of going to college. It will drain all the money I have saved (the money I was going to put down for a new-to-me car), plus the fact that in basically all social situations I turn into an anxious mess. But who cares right? As long as they're getting my tuition money it doesn't matter that I damn near have a panic attack whenever I think, talk or go to the college, doesn't matter that I am struggling with old self destructive habits or contemplating suicide again. I would be a lot less freaked out about this if america didn't basically forced college down your throat and put you into debt so you can struggle to find a job that will work you out of that debt. Sorry- thats a rant for another day
Anyway. I'll be back once finals are done with. Send me your thoughts, bc this is one of the toughest things I'll push through if I can do it
It's just lately I've had a lot to think about, like going out into the world, relationship stuff, and friend problems-and (even though it's ridiculous that it has to be this way) I'm absolutely TERRIFIED of going to college. It will drain all the money I have saved (the money I was going to put down for a new-to-me car), plus the fact that in basically all social situations I turn into an anxious mess. But who cares right? As long as they're getting my tuition money it doesn't matter that I damn near have a panic attack whenever I think, talk or go to the college, doesn't matter that I am struggling with old self destructive habits or contemplating suicide again. I would be a lot less freaked out about this if america didn't basically forced college down your throat and put you into debt so you can struggle to find a job that will work you out of that debt. Sorry- thats a rant for another day
Anyway. I'll be back once finals are done with. Send me your thoughts, bc this is one of the toughest things I'll push through if I can do it
College is a business - they want to take your money first before giving out anything, but that's the way of the world; nothing gets handed to you unless you fight for it. I can empathize with the self-destructive manner you're feeling will happen, because when my boyfriend and I went to college it took out a large amount of our money too, and we were afraid it was all for nothing. However, life doesn't end there. It all depends on what you want to do and how far you want to push it.
Do you want to wake up in the morning and kick ass and get ready for a job that you fought hard to get? Or do you want to retract back and slink into a state where you believe nothing will happen, and it surely won't?
That's the real question here. You can go into a school, ace your exams, and kick everyone's ass (there's a whole lotta ass-whoopin' here, sorry!) and get out and seek an awesome job, or you can fear debt and believe it's impossible to get out of, and never will. I'm going back to college in the fall for dietetics, and people have told me I won't find a job, but I say screw 'em. I want to work for the feds or the state gov't and come out with my associates and become a f***kin' awesome health inspector. Sure, there will be the cost of finishing school, but hey, it's one more goal I see to have erased from my head in a few years and carry on. Also, on another note, I own a brand new 2013 Nissan Sentra, and it's costing me $27,000. Yep. On top of school, I pay for that too. I also hate dealing with people in social situations, but it's nothing that I can overcome. So really, I can understand what you are going through, and like I said; you'll be alright. I promise.