This is a journal to mark and celebrate that tomorrow  katalist and I will be getting our apartment together, finally!

This has been the worst and best year for us all in one... and it has been rough.
Part of me wishes I had never moved back home with my parents, but at the same time if I did not, we would never have been able to pay for our wedding. It's bittersweet. The only reason I say it was the best year is because it is the first year I met furries and went to a ton of furry conventions ((yay!)). It was perhaps the only positive of living at home.

For those that feel like reading, here is my timeline... move from my apartment of two years back home with my mom, my dad, brother and sister. And my guinea pigs too of course! My first convention: Furlaxation 2013. During which I was in my first Artist Alley and did fairly well, my sister started texting me and saying things were bad at home but didnt want to ruin my trip. Upon returning home my sister informs me that my mom has tried committing suicide by taking sleeping pills because she hated her life so much. This led to a rocky month, being afraid of my mom calling me for fear of what state she would be in and at least once a week coming home to my sister bawling and latching on to me while I have no idea what happened while at work. There was a whole back story that pertains to her boyfriend causing drama and tearing up my family and I am glad he is gone now. My mom returned home and since my mom tried to kill herself in my sisters bedroom it was "haunted" to my sister and she had to switch rooms with my brother.

That was... August or September I believe and only a month after I moved back home. Since then it went up and down. Furlaxation in September was a god-send to break up the irritation work schedule I had at Wal-mart and my family mishaps. I do not remember too much drama then... Midwest Furfest was amazing as well, Christmas I remember there being drama but heck I dont remember what because as you can see coming up events get kind of eclipsed.

Also in November  katalist found his father passed away in their apartment and that was sudden, scarring and unexpected. He called 911 and his mother came right away from GA and we packed up their entire apartment within a week or two. Since then Katalist has been staying in my tiny high school bedroom with me and at his cousin's as well. He hasn't had his own bedroom this entire time, since November! My heart is very happy that he will finally have a home again come tomorrow and not be living out of a tote in my tiny-butt bedroom.

In February I believe I went to GLFC and that was fine, and it was either just before that or just after that convention that my Mom wrote a huge-ass letter to my dad about how horrible he is ((eight pages)) and said she is moving out come March 1st. And then she ran to my grandmothers and took my sister, and left me to answer all the questions my dad had about the issue. And it was not a kind letter in any way so it was very hard for me to deal with. She was very cowardly on this and go figure she got herself kicked out. He didnt let her back in and said to hell with you moving March 1st, you move now. So she ended up living about 40 mins away at my grandmothers with my sister until she finally got an apartment in April I think.

Since then it feels like my mind has been such a whilrlwind of confusion. It sounds so cheesy but it is true. Half the time I don't even know what is upseting me but when I am home in the evening I find myself snapping at everyone, especially Katalist because their the only one I really stand to be around and he really doesnt deserve it. He wants to make me happier but neither of us know what is doing it. When I am at home my dad goes on and on about how much he hates my mother now, and my sister, and when I visit my mom all she does is go on about hating my dad. She wrecked my brothers car and never fixed it and they both go on about that so much. My dad goes in my room when I am not at home and moves things or leaves things in there. I work 9 hours a day and when I get home I don't like knowing people have been snooping around. Also he thinks I do nothing when I have a day off.

I tell him again and again I am doing commission work and after he gets home he just harps on me for not cleaning or other nonsense. To tell you the truth that's why my commissions are so slow, when I have a day off I would normally spend the whole day working on those, but he has gotten to the point of coming into my room so often I can't even work so before he gets home I have to go to the coffee shop and then I cant work on art anymore. It is very nerve-racking to work on commissions this way.

There is a long standing list of complaints on his side and my mothers. At the same time my dad is a great guy and he doesn't know what do to with the family drifting like this. I can tell he is despairing and getting lonely, but he goes about things so wrong it can be hard to help. He has a horrible temper at times and it can make him hard to talk to.

It is not a very comfortable home to live in at all. Between leaving every day to hide at the coffee shop, to not having the a/c on ever ((poor guinea pigs!)), to my mom randomly skipping her bipolar meds, my sister only caring about herself... I just need to worry about my wedding and my commissions and it has been very difficult. The conventions and my friends here are the only ones keeping me going this past few months.

Katalist and I are moving tomorrow ((thank God)) and Saturday is a NW Ohio BBQ, and Sunday is bridal shower, Monday is wedding cake meeting... this will be a busy month and a new apartment for us could not have come soon enough. Ugh!

If anyone read all of that... wow!