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Just an interesting thought
11 years ago
For me at least.
I'm having kinda hard time lately. I feel unappreciated, my demons are in a good shape (which I am not), my work is shit and underpaid, I have zero time for my projects and I work to slow on my commissions. So I wanted to rest today, since I have forced day off tomorrow, I bought a bottle of cheap red wine and pepsi (cheaper than cola) and chilled around an internet. I browsed through the Tumblr but after an hour I realized: "I hate all those people. What they think is important in life has nothing to do with real values..." and I was absolutely stunned, not really angry or hateful, but just simply stunned over it and especially over my reaction.
I switched to Imgur briefly and going through the posts there made me slightly better IF not for two things. Comments AND Confession bear meme. All of sudden, it got me again: "I don't really want to share the same planet with people confessing such things - rape, homophobia and hatred related stuff. It means that they show a mask to me while thinking horrible things in the same time." The comments were even worse. People who have nothing to share. Just invaluable points and very generic opinions. Again, I was completely surprised by why do I feel this way.
I tried DA front page, Newest, the most Popular et cetera. Everything the same. With slight exceptions just very generic art. I had hard time telling one artist from the other.
No anger, no rage, no hatred included, I was just very stunned and confused by both sides, their and mine.
I went through my collection of newest things I haven't upload yet and I thought: "Do I even want to share this? Do I want someone such as myself judge me actually loudly? I do no harm by letting this emotions pass my brain, but most of people would share them. Do I want to face this?
I have written my very first creepy pasta. I think it's good. Yes, it needs a beta reader indeed, an editor to help me with some minor English mistakes and grammar. But the story is very solid in my opinion.
But is it?
To sum it up, I realized how much internet influence one's emotions. I don't speak my mind very often. Something needs to insult me very personally to make me really speak out. But most of people share every single brain fart they have (a beautiful fanart of...lets say Adventure time. Comment: Uguu, I luv da show derp!; a set of photos of rescued kitten with narration of how and why it was rescued. Comment: awwcute lulz i have a cat 2!!! - what is the purpose of those comments anyway? Who fucking cares if you like the show or have a cat too? If you want to comment, say something to the shared work itself, don't just mindlessly inform everyone about yourself.) which scares me for some reason. I don't share my opinions because I'm scared of hurt others and I don't share myself because I don't feel like I'm offering enough.
I have so many ideas about little comics of stuff which fascinates me. But I will never share it because what I may consider interesting, a lot of people will see as what I called a brain fart.
Do you feel the same?
I'm having kinda hard time lately. I feel unappreciated, my demons are in a good shape (which I am not), my work is shit and underpaid, I have zero time for my projects and I work to slow on my commissions. So I wanted to rest today, since I have forced day off tomorrow, I bought a bottle of cheap red wine and pepsi (cheaper than cola) and chilled around an internet. I browsed through the Tumblr but after an hour I realized: "I hate all those people. What they think is important in life has nothing to do with real values..." and I was absolutely stunned, not really angry or hateful, but just simply stunned over it and especially over my reaction.
I switched to Imgur briefly and going through the posts there made me slightly better IF not for two things. Comments AND Confession bear meme. All of sudden, it got me again: "I don't really want to share the same planet with people confessing such things - rape, homophobia and hatred related stuff. It means that they show a mask to me while thinking horrible things in the same time." The comments were even worse. People who have nothing to share. Just invaluable points and very generic opinions. Again, I was completely surprised by why do I feel this way.
I tried DA front page, Newest, the most Popular et cetera. Everything the same. With slight exceptions just very generic art. I had hard time telling one artist from the other.
No anger, no rage, no hatred included, I was just very stunned and confused by both sides, their and mine.
I went through my collection of newest things I haven't upload yet and I thought: "Do I even want to share this? Do I want someone such as myself judge me actually loudly? I do no harm by letting this emotions pass my brain, but most of people would share them. Do I want to face this?
I have written my very first creepy pasta. I think it's good. Yes, it needs a beta reader indeed, an editor to help me with some minor English mistakes and grammar. But the story is very solid in my opinion.
But is it?
To sum it up, I realized how much internet influence one's emotions. I don't speak my mind very often. Something needs to insult me very personally to make me really speak out. But most of people share every single brain fart they have (a beautiful fanart of...lets say Adventure time. Comment: Uguu, I luv da show derp!; a set of photos of rescued kitten with narration of how and why it was rescued. Comment: awwcute lulz i have a cat 2!!! - what is the purpose of those comments anyway? Who fucking cares if you like the show or have a cat too? If you want to comment, say something to the shared work itself, don't just mindlessly inform everyone about yourself.) which scares me for some reason. I don't share my opinions because I'm scared of hurt others and I don't share myself because I don't feel like I'm offering enough.
I have so many ideas about little comics of stuff which fascinates me. But I will never share it because what I may consider interesting, a lot of people will see as what I called a brain fart.
Do you feel the same?
Also, if you do need an editor or someone to just bounce ideas around with.. Well, I'm not too terrible at those things.
Shit? No.
Underpaid? Yes. And I admit I took advantage of it.
I was talking about my normal job, really.