FA+
Shop
So, some bad news
11 years ago
so... bad news. :/
last friday I had an argument with a family member, a pretty bad argument, and afterwards i got one of the worst migraines I've ever had. the pain was horrific, and then i experienced complete vision loss in my left eye. I mean total vision loss... i was blind in my left eye. I was dizzy, nauseated, the whole nine yards... and half blind. I let my boyfriend know, and he took me to the local emergency room at around 11pm that night.
TL;DR story, basically the ER didn't have an eye specialist doctor on call, and they thought that's what i needed (and not a neurologist for some reason..?) so they were calling all the other hospitals in the area to see if they could transfer me to one of the other ERs that HAD an ophthalmologist on call. EVERY OTHER HOSPITAL IN THE ENTIRE AREA REFUSED TO TAKE ME because they thought I wasn't "critical" enough. I guess sudden mysterious BLINDNESS isn't "critical", right?
Finally the ER took me to have a CAT scan, but they couldn't do an MRI because the technicians had all gone home (it was like 2am at this point). a CAT scan isn't fine-tuned enough to show bleeds on the brain or if you've had a stroke or aneurysm or something like that, so basically a CAT scan at that point was useless - I needed an MRI. But the ER at that hospital couldn't do it, and I couldn't get transferred to a hospital that COULD give me an MRI because as I mentioned, the other hospitals were refusing to accept me. And the ER that I was at was literally REFUSING to release me because it was "against medical advice", so my boyfriend couldn't take me out of that ER and take me to another hospital where I could get PROPER treatment!
The doctor came around and drugged me with some painkillers so I was loopy as fuck, said my CAT scan was clear (yeah I'm sure it was, since it wouldn't show a stroke or anything anyway), he peered into my eye with one of those opthal-scope things, proclaimed my eye physically fine, and literally would not release me from the ER. I was not allowed to leave until after 7am - so I was literally trapped in the emergency room for over eight hours USELESSLY, getting NO effective treatment and basically being told there was nothing they could do for me, and I would have to go to another hospital, but they couldn't let me LEAVE to go to another hospital!
Finally when I was allowed to go home, I slept for 6 hours, and when I woke up, I was still blind in my left eye and the migraine pain was still insane. So my boyfriend took me to a REAL HOSPITAL, where I waited in the waiting room for almost two hours (it being a Sunday and Memorial Day weekend) before i finally saw a real doctor and was given an MRI. This doctor actually KNEW what migraines were and believed in them (some doctors don't believe migraines exist, if you can believe that) and although he said there wasn't much he could do, he was actually KIND and TALKED to me. He said the MRI was clear of brain bleeds or strokes or aneurysms (WHEW), so the blindness was probably being caused by the migraine itself, as was the weakness, dizziness, and nausea that I was experiencing. He gave me pain medication to take home, saying it would treat the pain, but not cause the migraine to go away, and gave me recommendations to see a neurologist and an ophthalmologist.
So that's where I'm at now - six days later, I still have the migraine and the left-eye vision loss. I have regained some vision, but I'm still effectively blind in my left eye. I don't know what to say - I'm terrified by it. I don't know if it's permanent or not. If it's permanent, that's the end. I don't know if I'll be allowed to drive any more. I don't know if I'll be able to draw, or read well, or do pretty much anything - I can close my left eye and do things with just my right eye, like read the computer screen and type, like I am now, but I was left-eye dominant and my right eye is VERY weak, vision-wise, and it gets tired out easily.
Plus I literally still have the migraine pain and it hasn't gone away after six days. It's emotionally and mentally draining to be in constant pain, and it breaks you down. I don't literally believe in souls, but I feel soul-weary, if that makes sense... XD I just am so tired of the constant pain.
Califur is on Saturday and obviously at this point, there's no way I'l be able to go for the full day. My boyfriend will drive me and I'll probably be able to hold up for a few hours to say hi to my friends and maybe hang out for a bit, but since I CAN'T FUCKING SEE ANYTHING anyway, going into the Dealer's Den would probably only depress me anyway... I don't know. This is really depressing for someone who was very visually dependent before XD
Anyway, this isn't meant to be a pity-me party, just kind of a heads-up on what happened to me and a note on why I won't be at Califur for very long :{
Hopefully I'll be better (or at least better adjusted to my new half-blindyness) by AX. fhdkhdlgkj ugh :{
last friday I had an argument with a family member, a pretty bad argument, and afterwards i got one of the worst migraines I've ever had. the pain was horrific, and then i experienced complete vision loss in my left eye. I mean total vision loss... i was blind in my left eye. I was dizzy, nauseated, the whole nine yards... and half blind. I let my boyfriend know, and he took me to the local emergency room at around 11pm that night.
TL;DR story, basically the ER didn't have an eye specialist doctor on call, and they thought that's what i needed (and not a neurologist for some reason..?) so they were calling all the other hospitals in the area to see if they could transfer me to one of the other ERs that HAD an ophthalmologist on call. EVERY OTHER HOSPITAL IN THE ENTIRE AREA REFUSED TO TAKE ME because they thought I wasn't "critical" enough. I guess sudden mysterious BLINDNESS isn't "critical", right?
Finally the ER took me to have a CAT scan, but they couldn't do an MRI because the technicians had all gone home (it was like 2am at this point). a CAT scan isn't fine-tuned enough to show bleeds on the brain or if you've had a stroke or aneurysm or something like that, so basically a CAT scan at that point was useless - I needed an MRI. But the ER at that hospital couldn't do it, and I couldn't get transferred to a hospital that COULD give me an MRI because as I mentioned, the other hospitals were refusing to accept me. And the ER that I was at was literally REFUSING to release me because it was "against medical advice", so my boyfriend couldn't take me out of that ER and take me to another hospital where I could get PROPER treatment!
The doctor came around and drugged me with some painkillers so I was loopy as fuck, said my CAT scan was clear (yeah I'm sure it was, since it wouldn't show a stroke or anything anyway), he peered into my eye with one of those opthal-scope things, proclaimed my eye physically fine, and literally would not release me from the ER. I was not allowed to leave until after 7am - so I was literally trapped in the emergency room for over eight hours USELESSLY, getting NO effective treatment and basically being told there was nothing they could do for me, and I would have to go to another hospital, but they couldn't let me LEAVE to go to another hospital!
Finally when I was allowed to go home, I slept for 6 hours, and when I woke up, I was still blind in my left eye and the migraine pain was still insane. So my boyfriend took me to a REAL HOSPITAL, where I waited in the waiting room for almost two hours (it being a Sunday and Memorial Day weekend) before i finally saw a real doctor and was given an MRI. This doctor actually KNEW what migraines were and believed in them (some doctors don't believe migraines exist, if you can believe that) and although he said there wasn't much he could do, he was actually KIND and TALKED to me. He said the MRI was clear of brain bleeds or strokes or aneurysms (WHEW), so the blindness was probably being caused by the migraine itself, as was the weakness, dizziness, and nausea that I was experiencing. He gave me pain medication to take home, saying it would treat the pain, but not cause the migraine to go away, and gave me recommendations to see a neurologist and an ophthalmologist.
So that's where I'm at now - six days later, I still have the migraine and the left-eye vision loss. I have regained some vision, but I'm still effectively blind in my left eye. I don't know what to say - I'm terrified by it. I don't know if it's permanent or not. If it's permanent, that's the end. I don't know if I'll be allowed to drive any more. I don't know if I'll be able to draw, or read well, or do pretty much anything - I can close my left eye and do things with just my right eye, like read the computer screen and type, like I am now, but I was left-eye dominant and my right eye is VERY weak, vision-wise, and it gets tired out easily.
Plus I literally still have the migraine pain and it hasn't gone away after six days. It's emotionally and mentally draining to be in constant pain, and it breaks you down. I don't literally believe in souls, but I feel soul-weary, if that makes sense... XD I just am so tired of the constant pain.
Califur is on Saturday and obviously at this point, there's no way I'l be able to go for the full day. My boyfriend will drive me and I'll probably be able to hold up for a few hours to say hi to my friends and maybe hang out for a bit, but since I CAN'T FUCKING SEE ANYTHING anyway, going into the Dealer's Den would probably only depress me anyway... I don't know. This is really depressing for someone who was very visually dependent before XD
Anyway, this isn't meant to be a pity-me party, just kind of a heads-up on what happened to me and a note on why I won't be at Califur for very long :{
Hopefully I'll be better (or at least better adjusted to my new half-blindyness) by AX. fhdkhdlgkj ugh :{
Yeah, my boyfriend thinks I might just be stressed now because I'm stressed, leading to a vicious circle of vision loss and migraine because I'm stressed about having vision loss and a migraine XD If that makes sense! He's been trying to take extra-special care of me, trying to keep me as stress-free as possible, but I've had to come back into work the last few days, and contact with my family always leads to some stress, it seems like. Add that to the fact that my family doesn't really "believe" that migraines can last this long (and I'm not sure they entirely "believe" in migraines as an actual thing, if you know what I mean - I think they think I might be making this up) and just being around my family is a little stressful. But I still have to live with them, so I needs must endure XD
It's mostly frustrating because I take the pain medication, the pain goes away, I feel better - then a few hours later the meds wear off and the pain is back, so obviously the migraine isn't gone/being treated. We're not sure what my "triggers" are (other than stress maybe?) so it's hard to deal with. I know of one pro football player in the NFL who had a migraine for over two weeks, and he probably had access to the best medical care on the planet, so if HE couldn't get "cured", I might have to just endure it as well until it runs its course XD
I'm on daily medication that's supposed to help prevent migraines (ha ha it failed), but the dosage hasn't changed recently, so I don't think it's a medication effect, but the pseudo-tumor thing is definitely something to consider - when I see a neurologist on Tuesday it's something I'll bring up, thank you! :D I'll take ANY ideas at this point! XD
Or I could totally send letters with just big words that say "HI" or "HELLO HOW ARE YOU" so you can see them and it's not so much strain on your eyes. You just gotta crank up the magnifyer on words on your phone or your computer adn stuff at least to put as little stress on your eyes D:
Though what Skahilly, mentioned that's a good idea, also, MRI's and CAT scans sometimes don't show strokes if they're minor, it's always good to keep up on it in a few months get one again to see if anything has come up, especially if it's happened recently no scarring and stuff may show up until later. Just keep on it, rest your eyes as much as possible and try not to stress as impossible as that may be, as soon as one of them start talking smack, just stick some ear plugs in your ear give them the finger adn go back to what youre doing LOL elaghkajgh
I miss you man, I can't wait to see you, just one more month. I'll be legal and we can get our drink on, I will bring booze and we will get drunk and stupid because I think everyone could do with that once in awhile. :B
The doc gave me Percoset, which is terrifying XD I'm not used to taking anything stronger than, like, Advil Cold and Sinus. XD Or Imitrex for the bad migraines. I've never been on HOLY CRAP PAIN MEDICATION before.
When I was in the ER, they gave me Dilaudid, which is apparently some kind of morphine-based drug. It made me loopy as hell XD I think I asked the nurse for water at some point, but she gave me a very strange look afterwards, so I wonder what I REALLY said XD "CAN I HAVE SOME EXTRACT OF KITTEN JUICE PLEASE"
I am also wearing an eyepatch over my left eye sometimes when my brain can't handle the fucked-up signals from both eyes. I think I'll have to start drawing Lakota with an eyepatch from now on. And rewriting her background story to make her a pirate. ARR
AS YOU CAN TELL I AM TRYING TO STAY CHEERFUL BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE IS TO GO CRAZY XD
Like I said to Spy below, the worst part of it all is suddenly being unable to drive myself anywhere. I can't drive myself to work. I can't drive to the store. I can't take my cat to the vet. I can't pop off to the post office. I can't go ANYWHERE. For the most part it's not a big deal, but I feel supremely helpless all of a sudden, because I was so used to being able to hop in my van and just GO ;_;
Once in a blue moon I will get a particular migraine that causes a blind spot to pass over my eyes, but usually the migraine isn't intensely painful and of course it passes? So perhaps what you have is a very extreme case of what I get occasionally? I really hope it isn't permanent.
Best wishes to you, I hope it gets figured out.
I wish there was something I could do to help :/
I remember when I had a migraine, and my left eye had something called an "aura", which basically, made my whole left eye blind, but only for an hour or so, and then it went away. It was really scary, and I was so worried :(.
I can't do much, but I do hope your eye gets better. I'm glad you got some of your vision back. Hope to see you at Califur!
So I'm no stranger to visual changes with migraines - I get the auras and light sensitivity too - but this is the first time I've gotten vision LOSS. So it's really scary :{ It's also scary because I don't know yet if it's permanent or not - we have to wait 'til the migraine itself wears off, and then see if the vision loss goes away with the pain or not. Hooray for waiting! XD
I'm still pretty cheerful right now (or trying to keep my spirits up, anyway!) XD I think the most annoying thing to me right now is that I can't DRIVE myself anywhere :{ Sometimes I sit there and I have to mail something off and I think "Oh, I'll just drive to the post office," and then I go, "Oh right, blind in left eye, can't drive self anywhere." XD I'm not sure what that'll mean in the long run - if I have to retake my license exam or if I'll be verboten to drive ever again >_< I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess!