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Year later journal?
11 years ago
Soooo.. I guess it hasn't been that long since I've journal updated, but I normally only do these when I'm upset. and that doesn't happen very often. Besides, not like anyone actually reads these lol
Life has gone kinda crazy for me.. Currently upset at my... ex? though just a bit heart broken..
I really loved her to bits and I don't want to let the whole thing fall out over something so stupid. I know I can be a flirt at times.
Hell I'm a horny bastard at others..
but I know that my heart is in the right place. The whole thing kinda spiraled out of control over an argument about someone that I care about as a friend, maybe even a close friend, but not more than that. x,x and now it's being assumed that they're a fuck toy of mine and blah blah blah..
Just sucks to have such a lame fight after 9 months of commitment and trust. My feelings are still there obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this or complaining. Sorry I screwed up with that picture
Just going to be patient I suppose and let the truth work itself out as it always does.
I know that I'll be here, and I'm not going anywhere.
I still love you Kaala, and it breaks my heart things are happening as they are. Wish I could do something to change them, but doesn't seem I can.
I hope life treats you well, and I have no ill will against you. I'm here with open arms for you.
Life has gone kinda crazy for me.. Currently upset at my... ex? though just a bit heart broken..
I really loved her to bits and I don't want to let the whole thing fall out over something so stupid. I know I can be a flirt at times.
Hell I'm a horny bastard at others..
but I know that my heart is in the right place. The whole thing kinda spiraled out of control over an argument about someone that I care about as a friend, maybe even a close friend, but not more than that. x,x and now it's being assumed that they're a fuck toy of mine and blah blah blah..
Just sucks to have such a lame fight after 9 months of commitment and trust. My feelings are still there obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this or complaining. Sorry I screwed up with that picture
Just going to be patient I suppose and let the truth work itself out as it always does.
I know that I'll be here, and I'm not going anywhere.
I still love you Kaala, and it breaks my heart things are happening as they are. Wish I could do something to change them, but doesn't seem I can.
I hope life treats you well, and I have no ill will against you. I'm here with open arms for you.
I still love you, every ticking second it gets harder and harder to not come crawling back into your arms and just act as if it was all just a bad dream. Why I am so upset is how YOU handled the feelings for another, just remember how things are said and how you mean them are two different things.
I have oh shiny syndrome, I see something new and shiny and fanboy over it for a short time, but then I realize that I've fucked up and neglected what I love and I come back.
And you know I always come back to you, there was nothing to worry about, cause even when I was being my stupidest I was still in your arms.
I just want to know that it will NEVER happen again, but as I told you before, my trust issues need work, and trying my hardest not to be a slave driver is never going to fix those because neither of us understand each other it seems. v.v
If yall love one another like ya say, then hiccups like this will not split you up. But make you stronger as you overcome them and realize that what is really important is... TGE ALMIGHTY HELIX FOSSIL!!!!
Its more ....the severity of the hiccup was more of a small heart attack that lasted far too long, and no matter how hard either of us tried it didn't go away till things became too tense. As I told him, I just need to work on my trust issues if he is going to (as he said) 'Fanboy over something new' every time it comes along.
So I will say this. If the good times outweigh the bad by a decent margin, and you really love one another, look deep into your heart and say "they are worth the effort." And don't give up.
Casey, you know you have issues with that. So remind yourself by taking different steps to do so, that you love her and that she is your end all beat all. And tell yourself not to touch the shiny because it's fire.