Awwwwe, I'm sorry for you

Its what he wanted so he can have it

But what about what you want?

Everytime I brought that up the answer would be, "Well this would be better". So I made it better.

Bah, I would let you live with me if I had my own place

That would be nice I guess, but I dont think you want me I am broken

And I am the savior of the broken, the beaten and the dammed

And so I thought too, but I cant stop it now either I am going to just die b/c I stopped caring for myself so long ago, or I will do it myself. Either way I cant stop what it is, I am sorry.

So what? I don't feed myself. I would be dead if my friend doesn't feed me. I'm not poor, I just rather care for other people. We are all going to die sometime. When that happens I want to have made an impact on the world. What will you do?

I tried, but after hearing everything so many times over again I started to believe it? No understand what they told me. I guess I will be died.

Why? Why not just enjoy life?

tried that for 9 more years, but brought more pain obliviously why not just end it all, less pain for every one.

More pain for me?

I guess yeah, I am causing you pain right now arent I? Just better I leave now then later.

No, you don't understand. I say I'm savior of pf the broken, I mean it. I've stopped many people from killing themself. If I fail now, that will hurt more than a bullet or a blade.

I am sorry, but I am going have to hurt you to save a few.

Save a few, what wre you talking about?

Did you even read my journal before this?

Yea, and what? You think killing yourself will help? They will know why you killed yourself and they will have that guilt, do you want that?

The root of humanity is sin, and that is something they will live with for awhile.

Ok, your going to kill yourself, one sec... Ok I got my knife, let's both do this. Double suicide

No you cant do that it doesnt work that way.

Why not? I have nothing to lose. If you will kill yourself, so will I

B/c you have a future, I dont no matter what I do even if its right its still wrong. So even if I dont do this its still wrong, so why not do a wrong that will end it all, then I wont do anything wrong anymore. You have a chance.

What chance? Idc about collage, I can get into any. I don't want to be an engineer that events the next bomb. I don't want to become the business man that grows the economy. I want to make an impact. I want to save lives. If I can't even do that, why do I stay here?

No I cant save a live, you said you did. I never could, I cant do the thing. Talk to someone who is sad all I get is, its doesnt matter, i dont know you, or they just dont talk. I try to make someone happy who is sad, I am told to go away. I get angry when someone I barely know is hurt, I wanna go yelled at the person, I am wrong and yelled. No matter what I do I am wrong. So I should just give up.

Ok, I understand. So I'm going to end it with you

No you cant, your the one who does right, I dont. I need a nap bye.

Are you really sleeping or are you leaving the world, if you don't answer I'll end myself

Niether I am napping I said I never got any sleep I need a nap

If I get a bunch of people to say they don't want you to kill yourself, will you not?

I guess I will, right I now just need sleep

Sorry

If only it was was one of those again.

Today y parents bought me a Xbox One, and my brother too that is $1,000 they spent on me and my brother we don't need. I told them not to do it, but they said it was a graduation gift, I told them like 10x don't need. I was at the cash register, and it felt like my stomach was being ripped out, so much pain when people do things like that for me. I almost just took it back and said how about you just buy ben's for now and I will get mine some other day, but I didn't wanna start a problem in public, so I was selfish and let them buy it. But the cashier was pregnant, I was putting her through pain just b/c I was selfish. No matter what I do I cause pain.

Ok, bye.

No I not feeling sorry for myself, all this isn't sob story. Your misunderstanding the whole point of this, you think you know me, you think you understood me, listened to everything I said. No one has ever listened to to me, b/c I was never going to do anything. But even when I am threatening to hurt or kill myself, every one just want to understand everything their way. This is maybe if I find something, way to believe on, if I find hope, maybe things will change not just for me but everyone else who are looking for something more, then someone who think they can act like a friend to that one person b/c I they got something out of them. Or a person thinks they have friends, and they just keep lieing to themselves b/c they are looking for something a little more. Your just acting like all the others, yes your trying, but you could try harder if you call yourself my friend, but your just giving up. But if your really telling the truth about me helping you then I actually tried harder than you have but. But what I remember is everytime I tried to help you i remember you and others not even listening to me so I thought why did I even try?

B/c every one wanted to talk to me, I may have been about to kill myself but at least I wanna show I have class, and another reason that was stated was I wanted to teach a lesson, but I guess you didn't care about that part. Still not listening and you didn't even deny any what I said. What do you gain from being my friend, b/c I thought I had someone one to talk to, and listen to, but all that ever happened was me listening to you, and you thought you heard. I give you happiness and all it was about, your happiness and not me. I am a nice guy, so nice even if I have a problem with someone I never say anything, but I finally letting it out, you never listened to me you only thought you did.

Sorry removed your comment, using my phone its annoying. No I tried you haven't read anything I typed. And he said I help him and he helped without him would of done it the first day, he listened, helped which lead me to seek help on here. Every one else left while he stayed, who is a good friend?

No I tried you haven't read anything I typed. And he said I help him and he helped without him would of done it the first day, he listened, helped which lead me to seek help on here. Every one else left while he stayed, who is a good friend?

Your telling me to not kill myself, but everything I read that you texted makes me just wanna do it even more. The one person talking to me, is causing me to reconsider, but every other thing you type makes it like he isn't even doing anything.

Thank you, maybe I will get to be better now.