Come one, come all! Revel with me at how flaccid and impotent the Powers That Be have proven themselves. Join me as I sneer at the cosmos for its failed attempt to thwart my existence.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen... it was on this date 11 years ago that I was diagnosed with cancer. And after laughing my way through almost two years of injections, inspections, and toxic chemicals, I emerged weakened and bald... but victorious. Ever since, I have been a firm believer that whatever doesn't kill you just makes you stronger.

So here I sit, alive and well, celebrating more than a decade of flipping off the Grim Reaper. May the future be a testament to his greater folly in not killing me when he had the chance.

Cheers.