FA+
Shop
Something personal, [gentle talk]
11 years ago
I was very angry today. Very very angry. Cause i was thinking about past things. About actions..and things that really really hurt me. I hated the feeling. I hated every bit of it, regretted even why I... It's very venomous and the hatred i feel is just as strong as the love i used to feel for this person.
at the end of the night i just ended up crying. All the venom sizzled and turned into a lump in my chest. And I cried for a bit. Then i went to lay down on the floor with my back against the ground looking up at shadows and a mess of light from plugs.
I told myself. "I'm amazing, I'm going to be the greatest thing out there. I'm going to be the amazing cynthia" I smiled and slowly sat up puffing out my chest. "I'm going to do great things, I got so many ideas there's so many things to do. My future is right there I"ll be right there." I stood up and i smiled. "I'm going to be great! I'm going to make my life absolutely amazing, where i can be happy, Where I wont feel sad!"
And then I thought about all you guys. All of you. Who took their time, their precious words, to give to me. To give me work. To show me, to lead me, to help me out. And I literally bowed, thinking of you guys. Who did such amazing things for me. It may be small to you..but to me its amazing.
You guys are so amazing. If i could record this i would and show you my greatest appreciation towards you all.
on a random note. Anger..anger ..it helps make choices..and Helps me move forward. It helps me get the perspective..that..been stolen from me so many times cause i was too polite. Too welcoming of other thoughts. Too sympathetic to others. I channel it to move me forward. Its.. its not the best way.
I can honestly say.. That I sometimes dont channel my anger the right way and it can hurt, and be very destructive.. cause it turns into sadness..
that eats away at me. especially if i have to hold it in and let myself be ran over by other things.
its not ideal. but it works for now. I will get there. I will continue my path, and be the most amazing cynthia there is.
I just.. wanted to share, for some unknown reason. Thank you so much.
at the end of the night i just ended up crying. All the venom sizzled and turned into a lump in my chest. And I cried for a bit. Then i went to lay down on the floor with my back against the ground looking up at shadows and a mess of light from plugs.
I told myself. "I'm amazing, I'm going to be the greatest thing out there. I'm going to be the amazing cynthia" I smiled and slowly sat up puffing out my chest. "I'm going to do great things, I got so many ideas there's so many things to do. My future is right there I"ll be right there." I stood up and i smiled. "I'm going to be great! I'm going to make my life absolutely amazing, where i can be happy, Where I wont feel sad!"
And then I thought about all you guys. All of you. Who took their time, their precious words, to give to me. To give me work. To show me, to lead me, to help me out. And I literally bowed, thinking of you guys. Who did such amazing things for me. It may be small to you..but to me its amazing.
You guys are so amazing. If i could record this i would and show you my greatest appreciation towards you all.
on a random note. Anger..anger ..it helps make choices..and Helps me move forward. It helps me get the perspective..that..been stolen from me so many times cause i was too polite. Too welcoming of other thoughts. Too sympathetic to others. I channel it to move me forward. Its.. its not the best way.
I can honestly say.. That I sometimes dont channel my anger the right way and it can hurt, and be very destructive.. cause it turns into sadness..
that eats away at me. especially if i have to hold it in and let myself be ran over by other things.
its not ideal. but it works for now. I will get there. I will continue my path, and be the most amazing cynthia there is.
I just.. wanted to share, for some unknown reason. Thank you so much.
It is good to hear that you are doing better at least, emotions can be both a bandage or a weapon, depending on how we use them, but either way they can have a great outcome if used the right way. I hope that you continue your path to be the best cynthia. Outshine any doubt you have.
YOU are such a great inspiration to me. You skills and talents are outstanding, and they motivate me to continue on my artistic journey. I love every piece you put online, I can't wait to see more of your works, I can't get enough of your style and characters, and everything! This journal right here has shown me that I can do better, for me, or for someone else, that I don't have to sit in the corner anymore.
This may sound really selfish, though I really hope it doesn't, I wasn't meaning for it to. What I am trying to say is, thank you. Thank you so much for being this positive and uplifting person <3 thank you, thank you, thank you!
Even if you're crying about the worst thing ever-- You always feel fantastic after the tears stop! You sleep really well too!
I hope that little break down made you feel a shit-ton better in the end. u w u
I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours.
As well remember you can acomplish whatever you want if you settle things up. you´re great cynthia and its wonderful to see cheering yourself up, and your friends will stand to your side and help you always. and remember as well, sometimes its good to back step once to climb twice.
keep fighting!