I wake up.. just so I can type this: I dont sleep any more. I dont wake up any more. everything is the same. everything I see is just a repeat of the day before. I crawl inch by inch out of this hole, every moment I wake up I crawl. and go to bed finding when I wake up.. I was pushed farther back again, and so I crawl to right my self attempting to make ground. I am nothing more then a reflection of the insanity I was put through. and yet people love me. I dont know why. I was told I was afraid of dieing. I realized I am. I am afraid not that my life will end, but that I will come back and do it again. I dont think its right, that its fair to be forced into this place. have enough people died? have enough people suffered? have enough people lost them selves in them selves, only to wake up just moments before reaching death's door? we sure have bad reasons to live dont we? we live for money, and in these times we realize how worthless that truly is. we waste our time finding ways to flourish yet we forget how to survive. we have become reflections of insanity our selves now. each of us. only the ones able to escape this wrath are those that have already died. I want to know why I cant have good dreams any more? I used to, I remember them. Now every night I am afraid to fall asleep because I know what will happen. It's starting to make me sick watching all of this. I have nightmares when I sleep. I have pain when I wake up. I am fighting to stay alive so I can do this? but I cant quit because I know it would only make me have to learn the same lessons again. plus its not fair to the people that love me. I wonder why people love me? why do we love any one? because we miss them? because they mean something to us? because we will miss them? but why? we dont even know what love is. so how can we answer Why we do it? I dont know. I hate this feeling I hate feeling sick because I am alive. all I can say is god has a Great sense of humor. Bah. any one else feel this way? if you can comment once on my page at least answer that. Thanks for reading.