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I only seem to post the negative.. *shrug* sorry.
11 years ago
I keep trying to understand myself on some issues. I really think I don't, but perhaps I've finally been able to put some of my 'problem' into words.
One problem is that I hate myself and for several of reasons. I hate that I want to 'show off'... it instills motivation in me often (sorta good thing) , but still for all the wrong reasons (obviously). It also creates _lack_ of motivation when the bar feels too high. A portion of this might be likened to a child who tries to figure out a puzzling problem, and the 'fun' is ruined when someone points out the solution... or when he/she is surrounded by other talent that far outclasses him/her. Not to mention when things just dont go right and the result genuinely does suck....
Yeah, outwardly, I'm modest.. yet inwardly I find myself wanting attention from and to be social with people that I generally don't "rate" with. All the while I rather loath people who are outwardly immodest and especially those that fit the slang for "attention whore".
Therefore, inwardly I hate myself.
I realize it should be better for me to just do art for myself and stop posting it all together. People dont offer much for advice except maybe to just a blunt statement... and I dont need to share my art to enjoy drawing. I realize some people do like what I draw........ and I dont even know what to say. It leaves me conflicted.
anyway, there.....said it.. sorry for wasting your time.
One problem is that I hate myself and for several of reasons. I hate that I want to 'show off'... it instills motivation in me often (sorta good thing) , but still for all the wrong reasons (obviously). It also creates _lack_ of motivation when the bar feels too high. A portion of this might be likened to a child who tries to figure out a puzzling problem, and the 'fun' is ruined when someone points out the solution... or when he/she is surrounded by other talent that far outclasses him/her. Not to mention when things just dont go right and the result genuinely does suck....
Yeah, outwardly, I'm modest.. yet inwardly I find myself wanting attention from and to be social with people that I generally don't "rate" with. All the while I rather loath people who are outwardly immodest and especially those that fit the slang for "attention whore".
Therefore, inwardly I hate myself.
I realize it should be better for me to just do art for myself and stop posting it all together. People dont offer much for advice except maybe to just a blunt statement... and I dont need to share my art to enjoy drawing. I realize some people do like what I draw........ and I dont even know what to say. It leaves me conflicted.
anyway, there.....said it.. sorry for wasting your time.
Not sure whether hiding all art would be the best solution in the long run, though. You don't want to "show off", but surely you'd like to benable to show, or when socializing be able to point to it?