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My Mind Scares Me
11 years ago
General
So one of my co-workers said something to me today. It was nothing special, but more the way they said it. Kind of made me feel like I was watching a movie trailer for a really bad movie...
My mind scares me...
In a land where breakfast is more than just a meal...
*insert random car chases and explosions cuz that shit is cool and attracts people*
Two police officers are about to get more than a balanced breakfast... of danger
*insert kick ass action movie music*
Starring Tommy Lee Jones as Officer Sausage
Tommy Lee Jones: Alright. *cocks a shotgun* Who's ready to get piggy with it?
Will Smith as his partner, Officer Eggs
Will Smith: You think you're a challenge? *strikes a pose* This will be over, easy.
And Keanu Reeves as their transgender prostitute mascot, Cheese
Keanu Reeves: I am Neo, and I will defeat you, Agent Smith!
Director: *kzzzzt* This isn't the Matrix, you're a prostitute named Cheese
Keanu Reeves: Cheese? There's nothing cheesy about me! I demand my lawyer!
And they're about to go head to head with the greatest criminal mind the breakfast table has ever seen.
???: Foolish officers, I am king under the table!
Nominated five years running for the sexiest man alive
???: My crust is golden brown, my flavor is potatoes, I am fire, I am....
No one is safe from:
Benedict Cumberbatch: Hashbrown!
Director: *kzzzzzt* Why is he flying around the room and flapping imaginary wings?
Coming this summer to theaters everywhere!
Will Smith: You're not getting enough pain in your diet! *punches the camera*
Sausage Egg and Cheese Biscuit: The Movie!
I scare myself. So badly.
My mind scares me...
In a land where breakfast is more than just a meal...
*insert random car chases and explosions cuz that shit is cool and attracts people*
Two police officers are about to get more than a balanced breakfast... of danger
*insert kick ass action movie music*
Starring Tommy Lee Jones as Officer Sausage
Tommy Lee Jones: Alright. *cocks a shotgun* Who's ready to get piggy with it?
Will Smith as his partner, Officer Eggs
Will Smith: You think you're a challenge? *strikes a pose* This will be over, easy.
And Keanu Reeves as their transgender prostitute mascot, Cheese
Keanu Reeves: I am Neo, and I will defeat you, Agent Smith!
Director: *kzzzzt* This isn't the Matrix, you're a prostitute named Cheese
Keanu Reeves: Cheese? There's nothing cheesy about me! I demand my lawyer!
And they're about to go head to head with the greatest criminal mind the breakfast table has ever seen.
???: Foolish officers, I am king under the table!
Nominated five years running for the sexiest man alive
???: My crust is golden brown, my flavor is potatoes, I am fire, I am....
No one is safe from:
Benedict Cumberbatch: Hashbrown!
Director: *kzzzzzt* Why is he flying around the room and flapping imaginary wings?
Coming this summer to theaters everywhere!
Will Smith: You're not getting enough pain in your diet! *punches the camera*
Sausage Egg and Cheese Biscuit: The Movie!
I scare myself. So badly.
Aemi
~aemi
Shade
~diamonddragon
OP
I could find you a guest spot dating a sentient piece of pizza.
Aemi
~aemi
-throws a pillow at you-
Shade
~diamonddragon
OP
*catches and eats it*
flatteningfanatic
~flatteningfanatic
I like this. I love how you did the matrix part, even though I find the movie boring.
sarathebarricade
~sarathebarricade
There's enough puns in here to make this the CHEESIEST movie ever! X3
OTACONXIX
~otaconxix
I'm favoriting this journal. I don't care if there's no favorite button.
Annonamous
~annonamous
...dafuq!?
