FA+
Shop
IM DYING. DENIAL ISNT AN OPTION
11 years ago
General
MY LOVE: 
together since June 6th, 2009
married since November, 16, 2013
Wifey! <3 !
together since April 14th, 2012
Paypal: iurshadow@aol.com
________________
JOURNAL STARTS
________________ 
I received an email asking me why im working on other peoples commissions and taking in more work. I had no idea I opened back up for commissions? Think I wouldve known that. Im pretty positive I havent been physically able to art properly for a few months now.
To be honest. I havent had the opportunity to work on commissions effectively since my health plummeted last year.
Its not my fault if my clients dont read my journals.
Bottom line is I always finish what I owe, regardless of how long it takes. My health conditions have really impacted my business as an artist. Especially the professionalism I used to have. But it can not be helped.
Im not in denial! Im dying! I know this and im not rolling over. But im also not going to stress over my workload until my immediate health isnt in danger. Its an absolute fact that I have cancer. Ive updated my customers best I could with each exam and even provided proof photos.
If you as a client have not noticed this. You apparently arent too worried about your commission. Just know that im fighting this demon and as much as I hate to say it, their is always a risk I could lose to it! It very well could claim my life and then what? You will message a dead persons email with rude remarks until you go to my main page and see the RIP posts.
Give me a chance to recover please...
Chemotherapy isnt fun. Undergoing chemotherapy while pregnant isnt fun. Believe me when I say I feel horrible about not being able to properly work my hand off for you like I used to.
But I cant remember what I had for dinner because of these chemo drugs!! Let alone remember a whole to do list. I can only do so much...
If and when I overcome this battle, I just may give up art all together. I will close commissions entirely that way my only focus will be what I need to finish to satisfy my clients. I never intended for a 1-2+ year wait for anything. I didnt just wake up and decide "oh. I think I want cancer" This was thrown on me unexpectedly. Its ruining my life. But im doing my best to focus on getting better so I can focus on living a good future life and get back to the things I did before I was dying.
To be honest. I havent had the opportunity to work on commissions effectively since my health plummeted last year.
Its not my fault if my clients dont read my journals.
Bottom line is I always finish what I owe, regardless of how long it takes. My health conditions have really impacted my business as an artist. Especially the professionalism I used to have. But it can not be helped.
Im not in denial! Im dying! I know this and im not rolling over. But im also not going to stress over my workload until my immediate health isnt in danger. Its an absolute fact that I have cancer. Ive updated my customers best I could with each exam and even provided proof photos.
If you as a client have not noticed this. You apparently arent too worried about your commission. Just know that im fighting this demon and as much as I hate to say it, their is always a risk I could lose to it! It very well could claim my life and then what? You will message a dead persons email with rude remarks until you go to my main page and see the RIP posts.
Give me a chance to recover please...
Chemotherapy isnt fun. Undergoing chemotherapy while pregnant isnt fun. Believe me when I say I feel horrible about not being able to properly work my hand off for you like I used to.
But I cant remember what I had for dinner because of these chemo drugs!! Let alone remember a whole to do list. I can only do so much...
If and when I overcome this battle, I just may give up art all together. I will close commissions entirely that way my only focus will be what I need to finish to satisfy my clients. I never intended for a 1-2+ year wait for anything. I didnt just wake up and decide "oh. I think I want cancer" This was thrown on me unexpectedly. Its ruining my life. But im doing my best to focus on getting better so I can focus on living a good future life and get back to the things I did before I was dying.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/t.....yoftwo/journal
I blame Breaking Bad.
if you're letting go of it as well once you're doing better that might relieve a bit of pressure as well
people seem to be in constant demand and if they're really that ignorant, for the sake of yourself let em be jerks by themselves
best of luck kae, wishing for the best!
Get better, like we know you will.
I hope you can beat this demon your fighting and recover. And know that i and eve will pray for you.
It could put a lot of unnecessary stress on you and your child.
I honestly hope things take a turn for the better, for the both of you.
My best advice is to have faith. Whether it be in God,Buddha, or even Yourself,
Faith is a powerful force. I'm not that much of a religious person, to be honest.
But I believe that looking forward to a greater future is what gets us through our darkest hours.
As for anyone who might be hounding you for any reasons...
Karma. It is a bitch and it will give you a hundred-fold what you put into it.
Good luck, Kaeko, for you and your child.
P.S.
I would like to demand one thing from you, if I may be so selfish.
Remove my name from your waiting list. I'd rather not add to any stress or problems you are facing.