COMISSIONERS IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!!!!!
11 years ago
General
Ok guys I have made a HUGE mistake. I can only apologise and hope that you will accept. In my last journal about suit updates asked for you guys to' note me an email address' and I would contact you. I haven't realised until now that that was a typo. It was supposed to say 'email me with your email address and details of the commission'. In my notes any and all commission details have been lost since there is that many.
All this time I have been waiting for emails to the email linked with my paypal and wondering if anyone actually cared at all anymore. I know you will be thinking the same thing
I received a letter this morning from Ziegenbock which coincidental I only got because I happened to be in contact with my old neighbour who said she had a stack of letters for me. I haven't actually lived at that address since the beginning of this year!
During my last journal about costume work I was not in the best frame of mind, I also used and still do, use the term 'note' as a synonym for 'email'. As I had stated I was/didn't use notes at all anymore I wondered why I was getting them at all
I understand now that I bit off more than I could chew costume work. Mentally I was not fit to be taking any on and I should not of even considered it but I was in a desperate situation. Being abused by my father, that much I can freely admit, getting a concussion every time something wasn't right was in no way shape or form acceptable. Hell my workload is even more at work now than it was before. We were running on skeleton staff up until April. I work full time and two days a week I stay over at work Saturday through to Monday following into my counselling. I work a 60hr week at work easily! So time is limited along with an hours travel on each end..
Shortly after my last journal I had a nervous breakdown. The stress of my day to day life with my sister, constant screaming matches that reminded me all too much of my father. Relationship stress - I am unable to have what would be considered a 'normal' relationship with anyone, abuse in my past has made it pretty much a given and subsequently I had a nervous breakdown in October. Of which I am still recovering. The guy in question should in no way feel guilty for this at all, I should not of even thought he would be the same in any way. He listened, helped, was patient even when I avoided him for the better part of a good few months. We still talk now even and I still trust him.
I was just into my job and being bullied ridiculously by a Senior member of staff but being told 'deal with it, this is a part of gr owning up' and 'don't stick up for yourself'. This is after having had to stick up for myself against my own fathers abuse. The girl then got transferred to another department and it settled for a few weeks. Trying my best to be civil was in vain, the girl blew up and attempted to fire me telling me 'go home you're fired'.
Naturally having fought my way out of the situation I was in with my father before and knowing my sister had the same temper and prospect for violence, I was scared and upset.
My sister herself is a recovering drug user so her moods were up and down normally until the switch was flipped. Thankfully she is a lot better now and is off the substitute they gave her and now clean.
During this time my job was unbearable, I was dreading coming into work each day, I drank like clockwork every week and slept the rest of it because my depression skyrocketed.
The girl herself was fired about a month later after this incident for attacking the head chef because he told her not to pick on me or the new receptionist.
From her leaving things have been hard graft in getting the hotel back up to standard. It changed hands along with a new assistant manager. Everyone butts heads now and again but we work much better together.
Up until January I had been accumulating a mass of loans and payday loans. This time while I am still in about £12000 worth of debt (not including student debt) I am slowly working my way out of it with a company called Harrington Brooks. I said 'New year, New start' and for once I felt a little optimistic. In about 3-4years I will be debt free if all goes to plan. It is a long time however it was the start of getting my life on track.
Around the same time my first counselling session came up. My Mom contacted KASP(Kingdom Abuse Survivors Project) behind my back. My sister had been at a loss what to do so went to my Mom. It was terrifying at first but it has been a great help emotionally. I go once a week, every Monday afternoon. My councillor is a wonderful woman and is slowly helping me get my mental health back on track. Yesterday I was actually going to suggest meeting every two weeks however today was very taxing and I chickened out when I was asked 'Same time next week?'
You wouldn't believe how much it helps to just talk to someone and not have to worry about being judged or assuming my sexuality is because of things out of my control that happened when I was only 8.
Around February I found a place to live for my own. My sister, like my father, hated fluff and foam. She found it embracing and thought she would be attacked by association in the area that we lived in. It was hard to take that one of the few things I found happiness in was viewed like that with half my family! If I left something out of my room, guaranteed when I was back from work the next day it would 'tidied' back into my room. I felt trapped to one room, nothing could stay out without pre approval x.x
So I got my own place, moved out and finally able to do what I wanted, when I wanted provided I had time. Unfortunately my work hours increased from 45hrs to 60hrs and now they want to pile even more responsibility onto me because I have been there a year past April. I find myself running out of energy, sleeping more, appetite fluctuating, moods swinging - don't even mention pregnancy, its not possible. A couple days ago I was asked if I was 'stoned' at work, not a drug in my system either! I was just that tired, granted I also walked into a wall that day.
So along with the house, my debt repayments, travel and living expenses things are stretched far to thin. My brother has moved in with me and is currently jobless. I am supporting bother of us until he gets working. I admit it will be harder for him to get a job, he has both aspergers syndrome and ADHD
This brings me onto the commissions themselves. As far as I was mistakenly aware (due to my mistake mentioned above) I was waiting on emails. However, I realise it was the other way round.
For those who will demand full refunds I am afraid in my current situation that is impossible. I am selling things each month just to scrape by along with repaying my debt and all the other expenses that come with having a house in the private sector.
For those who I do have the emails for I am setting up an email to specifically see to those commissions and those commissions alone!
Those who are wanting refunds will also have to understand the terms I set that were agreed to that deposits are non refundable. I am sorry but I can't budge on that. You will also have to understand that the only way I can generate enough money in one sitting to even offer some kind of payment is to make premades and sell them. Even though I work 60odd hours at work I do not get paid for them as I am salaried. If you count my hours right now I am only actually getting about £4.40 an hour. If I was to work my contracted 40hrs only, it seems much better (£6.60) but reality is different.
For those who still wish to have their costumes completed I will do so. I know there are a few I had only received deposits for anyway. In the case of those wanting suits completed I shall start with the person who has been waiting the longest and work my way forward from there. With the hours I am working I wont be able to give a completion date as I can assume it will more than like be broken if I hit a set back! And trust me it has happened far too often this past year.
In my head this is the only way forward I can see. I would honestly like to complete the suits and come out the other side having survived this stage in my life.
I can only hope that you guys will let me put this right.
I will be emailing the emails in the last update journal and the ones I can find in my notes. If you have not been emailed within 72hrs (18TH JULY 7AM GMT) Then please leave a comment on this journal with the email and the name of the costume.
Kurauno
For those looking to white-knight and flame there is no point as I will only delete/ignore/block. I am trying to sort things out after the mistake I realise I have made. Indeed no body is perfect, however, making me feel the exact same as I did in these past situations will not help any of the commissioners involved at all.
Any attempts to contact me through personal means eg. facebook, my phone will be ignored as I do not know you physically, I don't answer my phone unless it is for work either. These methods are for my family to contact. Also harassing my family and friends is out of the question and highly inappropriate.
All this time I have been waiting for emails to the email linked with my paypal and wondering if anyone actually cared at all anymore. I know you will be thinking the same thing
I received a letter this morning from Ziegenbock which coincidental I only got because I happened to be in contact with my old neighbour who said she had a stack of letters for me. I haven't actually lived at that address since the beginning of this year!
During my last journal about costume work I was not in the best frame of mind, I also used and still do, use the term 'note' as a synonym for 'email'. As I had stated I was/didn't use notes at all anymore I wondered why I was getting them at all
I understand now that I bit off more than I could chew costume work. Mentally I was not fit to be taking any on and I should not of even considered it but I was in a desperate situation. Being abused by my father, that much I can freely admit, getting a concussion every time something wasn't right was in no way shape or form acceptable. Hell my workload is even more at work now than it was before. We were running on skeleton staff up until April. I work full time and two days a week I stay over at work Saturday through to Monday following into my counselling. I work a 60hr week at work easily! So time is limited along with an hours travel on each end..
Shortly after my last journal I had a nervous breakdown. The stress of my day to day life with my sister, constant screaming matches that reminded me all too much of my father. Relationship stress - I am unable to have what would be considered a 'normal' relationship with anyone, abuse in my past has made it pretty much a given and subsequently I had a nervous breakdown in October. Of which I am still recovering. The guy in question should in no way feel guilty for this at all, I should not of even thought he would be the same in any way. He listened, helped, was patient even when I avoided him for the better part of a good few months. We still talk now even and I still trust him.
I was just into my job and being bullied ridiculously by a Senior member of staff but being told 'deal with it, this is a part of gr owning up' and 'don't stick up for yourself'. This is after having had to stick up for myself against my own fathers abuse. The girl then got transferred to another department and it settled for a few weeks. Trying my best to be civil was in vain, the girl blew up and attempted to fire me telling me 'go home you're fired'.
Naturally having fought my way out of the situation I was in with my father before and knowing my sister had the same temper and prospect for violence, I was scared and upset.
My sister herself is a recovering drug user so her moods were up and down normally until the switch was flipped. Thankfully she is a lot better now and is off the substitute they gave her and now clean.
During this time my job was unbearable, I was dreading coming into work each day, I drank like clockwork every week and slept the rest of it because my depression skyrocketed.
The girl herself was fired about a month later after this incident for attacking the head chef because he told her not to pick on me or the new receptionist.
From her leaving things have been hard graft in getting the hotel back up to standard. It changed hands along with a new assistant manager. Everyone butts heads now and again but we work much better together.
Up until January I had been accumulating a mass of loans and payday loans. This time while I am still in about £12000 worth of debt (not including student debt) I am slowly working my way out of it with a company called Harrington Brooks. I said 'New year, New start' and for once I felt a little optimistic. In about 3-4years I will be debt free if all goes to plan. It is a long time however it was the start of getting my life on track.
Around the same time my first counselling session came up. My Mom contacted KASP(Kingdom Abuse Survivors Project) behind my back. My sister had been at a loss what to do so went to my Mom. It was terrifying at first but it has been a great help emotionally. I go once a week, every Monday afternoon. My councillor is a wonderful woman and is slowly helping me get my mental health back on track. Yesterday I was actually going to suggest meeting every two weeks however today was very taxing and I chickened out when I was asked 'Same time next week?'
You wouldn't believe how much it helps to just talk to someone and not have to worry about being judged or assuming my sexuality is because of things out of my control that happened when I was only 8.
Around February I found a place to live for my own. My sister, like my father, hated fluff and foam. She found it embracing and thought she would be attacked by association in the area that we lived in. It was hard to take that one of the few things I found happiness in was viewed like that with half my family! If I left something out of my room, guaranteed when I was back from work the next day it would 'tidied' back into my room. I felt trapped to one room, nothing could stay out without pre approval x.x
So I got my own place, moved out and finally able to do what I wanted, when I wanted provided I had time. Unfortunately my work hours increased from 45hrs to 60hrs and now they want to pile even more responsibility onto me because I have been there a year past April. I find myself running out of energy, sleeping more, appetite fluctuating, moods swinging - don't even mention pregnancy, its not possible. A couple days ago I was asked if I was 'stoned' at work, not a drug in my system either! I was just that tired, granted I also walked into a wall that day.
So along with the house, my debt repayments, travel and living expenses things are stretched far to thin. My brother has moved in with me and is currently jobless. I am supporting bother of us until he gets working. I admit it will be harder for him to get a job, he has both aspergers syndrome and ADHD
This brings me onto the commissions themselves. As far as I was mistakenly aware (due to my mistake mentioned above) I was waiting on emails. However, I realise it was the other way round.
For those who will demand full refunds I am afraid in my current situation that is impossible. I am selling things each month just to scrape by along with repaying my debt and all the other expenses that come with having a house in the private sector.
For those who I do have the emails for I am setting up an email to specifically see to those commissions and those commissions alone!
Those who are wanting refunds will also have to understand the terms I set that were agreed to that deposits are non refundable. I am sorry but I can't budge on that. You will also have to understand that the only way I can generate enough money in one sitting to even offer some kind of payment is to make premades and sell them. Even though I work 60odd hours at work I do not get paid for them as I am salaried. If you count my hours right now I am only actually getting about £4.40 an hour. If I was to work my contracted 40hrs only, it seems much better (£6.60) but reality is different.
For those who still wish to have their costumes completed I will do so. I know there are a few I had only received deposits for anyway. In the case of those wanting suits completed I shall start with the person who has been waiting the longest and work my way forward from there. With the hours I am working I wont be able to give a completion date as I can assume it will more than like be broken if I hit a set back! And trust me it has happened far too often this past year.
In my head this is the only way forward I can see. I would honestly like to complete the suits and come out the other side having survived this stage in my life.
I can only hope that you guys will let me put this right.
I will be emailing the emails in the last update journal and the ones I can find in my notes. If you have not been emailed within 72hrs (18TH JULY 7AM GMT) Then please leave a comment on this journal with the email and the name of the costume.
Kurauno
For those looking to white-knight and flame there is no point as I will only delete/ignore/block. I am trying to sort things out after the mistake I realise I have made. Indeed no body is perfect, however, making me feel the exact same as I did in these past situations will not help any of the commissioners involved at all.
Any attempts to contact me through personal means eg. facebook, my phone will be ignored as I do not know you physically, I don't answer my phone unless it is for work either. These methods are for my family to contact. Also harassing my family and friends is out of the question and highly inappropriate.
FA+

My email is saia_nyde_sai[at]Yahoo.com and I was getting the Griever suit done.
finalfanta1997[at]gmail.com (owner of Vyper)
Please await my email before responding.
Just cause you hid my comment don't mean I am not still around. Waitinggggg
All I asked for was an email address which you provided and I emailed you back with details (including the comment you left above). Please leave all further contact to that email address.
It may be a late response but it is still a response. Fact of the matter is this is being dealt with.