Some of you might recall a little rant I went on, about 5 months ago. A co-worker of mine couldn't figure out how to operate a certain door (you push it. That's it. No locks or latches or anything, you just push it open), so she called in an emergency work order to a local locksmith to have him remove the fucking doorknob, thus changing absolutely nothing about the functionality of the door but costing the company a few hundred dollars for the emergency call.

Well long story short, it happened again, almost to the exact same circumstances. I went into work yesterday to find that another door, which doesn't lock or have a latch so you need only to push it to have it open, had been ravaged by a locksmith and had the knob removed. I went into the manager's office and found an emergency work order with that employee's signature on it.

(these doors have been in place for years. Nothing about them has changed, ever, so no there was no reason to think they suddenly needed to have their knobs removed).

I...almost broke down and cried for the insanity of it. How do people like this stay employed? How does it even occur to someone to have random door knobs removed from doors which already open with a gentle push?

This is why I'll never be a good writer. Because when I try to think up characters, I give them too much credit. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought up of someone so batshit fucking insane that they'd call in emergency work orders to have door knobs removed from a door for no reason whatsoever. I would not, in my entire life, have conceived of such a thing. I also would not have imagined a workplace so forgiving that said person could keep their job after performing such an act....TWICE. I also wouldn't have imagined a locksmith going along with it once, forget twice.

I just don't know what to do with this. I mean, where do I go from here? I am completely and utterly befuddled. And what a specific insanity this is! She only calls in emergency work orders to have door knobs removed from doors that don't lock. She's been locked out of the manager's office before and instead of calling a locksmith to pick the lock and get her into the room, she instead opted to call a fellow manager to come into work and let her in. So I know she doesn't pull this shit with doors that lock.

I had this incredible urge to slam my head against the wall until this made sense, but then I realized I don't ever want to get to the point where this makes sense. If this ever makes sense to me, you, my collective audience, have permission to shoot me on sight.