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More to Come
11 years ago
Hello loyal fans,
I know it's been a long time, but I appreciate those of you taking the time to read my words after so long an absence. First, I'd like to inform you that after four long years of searching, I have finally found a full time position in a laboratory which fits my background at least reasonably well. I'm making much more money than I was previously as a car insurance claims adjuster and the job itself is more satisfactory. I'm on salary for the first time in my life and I appreciate the newfound trust and freedom, so far I've not been abused by a heavy work-load or an expectation to be at the office greater than 40 hours a week. I am hoping that this new job will be a great fit for me for the long term, and will likely overall increase my quantity of free time from what it was before.
If you look at my gallery, you'll see that I posted a new story. This is actually a very old story from around 2007 or so. The story itself has a great deal of meaning to me beyond the mere letters, it was a big learning period for me in its writing, not just in the art of writing itself, but in discovering my own sexuality itself. I explored the ideas near and dear to my passion and at the time, I was new to the very concept of a "furry;" in fact I was exploring both Furraffinity and websites like zoophile.net and various yahoo groups at the time as well. It took time for me to develop a sense of what my orientation was and my tastes developed and changed even in the course of the writing of that single story. I was immensely pleased when I was able to finish Bovine Indulgence when I had not been able to finish my first attempt at a novel "A Rise of Dragons" which succumbed after the 3rd 100 page rewrite that I hated. In fact I was so pleased that as soon as I was finished I started a spin-off story that takes place during the events of Bovine Indulgence called "Rodney and Lauren.
I'll be posting the spin-off next week. Also, the following week, I shall post a story which I started but have recently decided to discontinue. I got quite a bit done, but lost the sense of the story after the conclusion of the first plot arc. I think it functions ok as a short story on its own. The title is "Size Matters."
I can't promise more regular posting after that. My current projects include: Evolution Pt II (of course) as well as a cat themed novel titled "The Large One." I am also working on a Narnia fan fiction called "A Dragon in Narnia" which explores the idea of Eustace Scrubb remaining as a dragon during the events of "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." In that I hope to give Lewis's straw man for an educated liberal elite (even if he is still a boy) a more honest treatment. It is not weight-gain related. Also, don't ask which will be out first as I honestly couldn't tell you now.
That's it for now. Sorry again for the long absence, but I hope you will like the new/old material to read for the next few weeks.
I know it's been a long time, but I appreciate those of you taking the time to read my words after so long an absence. First, I'd like to inform you that after four long years of searching, I have finally found a full time position in a laboratory which fits my background at least reasonably well. I'm making much more money than I was previously as a car insurance claims adjuster and the job itself is more satisfactory. I'm on salary for the first time in my life and I appreciate the newfound trust and freedom, so far I've not been abused by a heavy work-load or an expectation to be at the office greater than 40 hours a week. I am hoping that this new job will be a great fit for me for the long term, and will likely overall increase my quantity of free time from what it was before.
If you look at my gallery, you'll see that I posted a new story. This is actually a very old story from around 2007 or so. The story itself has a great deal of meaning to me beyond the mere letters, it was a big learning period for me in its writing, not just in the art of writing itself, but in discovering my own sexuality itself. I explored the ideas near and dear to my passion and at the time, I was new to the very concept of a "furry;" in fact I was exploring both Furraffinity and websites like zoophile.net and various yahoo groups at the time as well. It took time for me to develop a sense of what my orientation was and my tastes developed and changed even in the course of the writing of that single story. I was immensely pleased when I was able to finish Bovine Indulgence when I had not been able to finish my first attempt at a novel "A Rise of Dragons" which succumbed after the 3rd 100 page rewrite that I hated. In fact I was so pleased that as soon as I was finished I started a spin-off story that takes place during the events of Bovine Indulgence called "Rodney and Lauren.
I'll be posting the spin-off next week. Also, the following week, I shall post a story which I started but have recently decided to discontinue. I got quite a bit done, but lost the sense of the story after the conclusion of the first plot arc. I think it functions ok as a short story on its own. The title is "Size Matters."
I can't promise more regular posting after that. My current projects include: Evolution Pt II (of course) as well as a cat themed novel titled "The Large One." I am also working on a Narnia fan fiction called "A Dragon in Narnia" which explores the idea of Eustace Scrubb remaining as a dragon during the events of "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." In that I hope to give Lewis's straw man for an educated liberal elite (even if he is still a boy) a more honest treatment. It is not weight-gain related. Also, don't ask which will be out first as I honestly couldn't tell you now.
That's it for now. Sorry again for the long absence, but I hope you will like the new/old material to read for the next few weeks.
I could tell even before I read what you wrote about the story itself that this was an exploration of sexuality and especially destructive fetishes. Self-actualization is a goal that not many reach but millions strive for, the goal to realise and pursue that which we are at our very foundations. I couldn't describe how curious it was to read a story in which the main character, after realising and acting on his desires, realises they're actually pushing him further and further from 'sanity'.
Of special note I think is use of the word sanity. When it first came up in the story I thought it seemed a little out of place. There was already a strong sense of disconnection between me and the main character and I didn't really understand how one thing he did was any less or more sane then the other and here we enter an examination of what it means to have a destructive fetish - a fetish where your desires and wants can physically and psychologically hurt another person. Initially there was little empathy with the cows, even gifted with human intelligence I didn't really connect with them but one passage in particular stood out and stands out even now in my memory and that's the one from Mary's (I believe) perspective. It was so beautifully described, how her desire to please her mate lead to her overeating and it was only once she was trapped by her own bulk with a feeding tube down her neck that she realised it was the overeating that had done this to her. Combined, her desire to please her mate and his own drives had imprisoned her in a nightmare that she was now powerless to stop.
I think that passage was very important to the plot and the idea of the story. That was when everything came together for me. At once I was able to empathise with the cows and understand why the word 'insane' was used to describe Rodney. The difference between sanity and insanity being how willing you are to hurt another being to fulfil your fantasies.
And honestly the above is only one aspect of the story that touched me and got me thinking! I also have to say the ending scene with Rodney and 'Hollie's' last words was another touching one. The fact that the cows were given human levels of intelligence in such an overt manner was important to the story, to empathising with Rodney and his love of the animals. It was one of the corner stones of tearing down that disconnection between readers and these animals, establishing them as more then 'just cows'.
Hollie leaving Rodney was another highlight, a brilliant way to illustrate a thought evoking plot. Honestly I have no shortage of things to say about this story and all of them good xD
Honestly it is a little hard to remember now my exact state of mind back when I was writing this. Towards the end I think I was identifying problems with the story and was concentrating on drawing it to a close. I really am surprised at the level of praise you are giving me. Maybe I've focused too long on the negative aspects of the story
The character of rodney was undoubtedly based largely on myself. Initially the story was in essence wish fulfillment. But as the story progressed I began to wonder more about the innate nature of this particular fetish especially the seemingly insatiable need for more and more bulk. I remember one series of bad WG fiction I read from the dimensions magazine story board: The weight zone or some such nonsense. The premise of which were women suspended in a weird gaining dimension were they seemingly did nothing but gain weight and compare themselves to one another. I remember back the. Already being extremely dissatisfied with such trite. The word "insane" is probably not the right word to use as a narrator because it is loaded and highly subjective but I think Hollie was right in using it. I think it is slightly paradoxical now considering that Rodney is shown losing every thing that really matters in his personal life to consume himself in his fetish, and yet we the audience are at the same time rooting for said consumption. Rodney is doing what we wish we could do if the costs weren't so high
The companion peice to this which will be coming this Saturday does actually change things up, as it focuses on a single personal relationship rather than the fixation on sexual deviancy
I'd like to hear some of what you thought were the more negative aspects of the story from a writer's point of view! I've been trying to improve my own writing and though I've yet to write anything quite so long or focused after reading a work like this I might just like to try some time. A piece with length and a plot beyond standard wg wank shenanigans. I liked how Rodney the story twisted away from just being about a fetish to its effects on Rodney. After he lost everything that was important to him - and more importantly after he realised how much pain he was inflicting on mary I think it makes us as readers take a few steps back. It stops being wish fulfillment and starts being something better. I don't know, sometimes I think I ramble xD
I'm looking forward to the companion piece though! You've got me hooked xD
There are numerous technical and grammatical errors. Surely you noticed me slipping from 3rd person tense to 1st person periodically. I'd yet to develop the discipline to resist and sometimes today I still want to change tense for certain sentences XD. As a rule of thumb you should stick with a PoV or change it only between segments like seperate chapters.
Probably the biggest thing though is the lack of true narrative. You'll notice in the begining and during portions throughout the tale that what I'm doing is just giving a description of fat and then moving time ahead the. Giving a new description. I did realize pretty quickly that I was repeating myself, but I had started writing with no real narrative in mind other than the cows get fatter and Rodney makes them more intelligent. I did eventually crank out a story when Hollie became available as a character, but that was already a ways into the story. I could have started strong from the begining, but the. The writing of this was an education for me. Essentially the fact that this started as straight porn and then morphed into something else as my desires changed is what held it back the most. The companion story was my attempt to address what I saw as weaknesses by the conclusion of bovine indulgence
If I were going to rewrite this today. It would probably be a lot shorter to start with as the premise is pretty light (man fattens and fucks cows XD). I'd try to get to an intelligent cow character ASAP, maybe even starting chapter 1 from her perspective after a prologue explaining how she got there. I would grow the relationship between her and Rodney first as a father figure then as a mother culminating with what she would view as a betrayal as she witnesses the destructive nature of his obsession. The whole story might be more interesting from one of the cows perspectives with Rodney seen from afar and not immediately accessible. He was never a complex character really. He has his obsession and eventually realizes the wrong of indulging in it to the detriment of the ones he's supposed to love, but the only interesting part about that is that I'm showing this character to an audience who are here essentially to get their rocks off. If Rodney did make anyone uncomfortable about indulging thier fetish even for a couple moments out there then I succeeded . But that still doesn't make him a complex character.