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Just getting it off my chest [heavy rant]
11 years ago
General
I don't even know why...
Just thinking of taking down all the art and screens at this point. Been a horrible month and all I can say is: I'm just done with people. I hate playing with, against, talking to, even when I don't even talk to... I even hate being with people or relatives. I'm, apparently, public enemy #1 and shit always has to hit in my face. Traitorous 'friends' who take shit too seriously and over-react, non-stop trolls and grief from anyone who I have ever met or have never met before. Just a never ending cycle of shit, shit, shit, and even more shit even now...
I'm just tired of everything... and everyone. I don't want friends. I don't need people. I just want to be left alone forever, because that's the only message I'm ever going to get apparently. Because it seems that whenever i want to go have a good time, just chill on a game, even loitering and minding my own business... someone, somewhere has it out for me. Fuck this miserable little mudball of a planet IMO. People can't seem to mind their own business let alone show minimal respect for people they've never met before [random please die IM from a random towards me]. -_-
I don't want to hear it anymore of "you can't let them get to you". That's easier said than done! Being an outcast my entire life, i've never been exposed to this amount of shit, and even it was an isolated event, I wouldn't handle it well anyways because of incredible rage issues. Therefor it will forever be a mind-boggling thing when i see people ignore petty things and talk all high and mighty, thinking their better than everyone because they seem to be immune to trolls and griefers. News flash!: not everyone was born with that ability, nor is everyone trained specifically to resist being made fun of. Some of us have been targets since they developed rational thought at a young age. Some of us are forever doomed to walk this shit-hole alone, because the horrific mental scars that haunt us from childhood and severely reinforced into adulthood is a permanent block to even wanting to talk to people, because we always regretted it sooner or later. Because some people... only care for what they want at a moments notice. Some people will betray you. Some people will take advantage of the situation for their own benefit at your expense... And of course some people are just assholes and want cheap entertainment. |C
Why should I bother talking to anyone, look at potential games, or even remotely consider going outside excluding when i have to go to work; when every person on this god-forsaken rock, is a corrupt piece of shit that only looks out for themself...
I've been told that it's sometimes "healthy" to be alone. I'm pretty sure that doesn't count when you've been a loner your whole life, you have no interest in dating or getting married, and you've been outcast in every year of schooling since kindergarden, have had a total of 3 friends between the ages of 5-18 and lost contact with said friends since graduation.
Back to my considering of taking down my arts... I don't know. The only reason I haven't... and this is a long shot at best; someone on SL tried talking to me a few nights ago. I had a revelation of sorts. My sub-conscientiousness may have created my horse as an polar opposite of my true mentality, might explain why she's usually happy and care-free... the things that i never truly had a good taste of growing up. The slight revelation I had hinted that maybe she is my outlet... but is it worth keeping if all people do is make her and me a target?...
IN OTHER NEWS: god help all you trolls and griefers should an internet police gets formed to deal with you harassing pieces of shit. For i will join such an operation instantly. And i will find all of you who unfairly wronged me. And i will exact my revenge upon every last one of you.
Just thinking of taking down all the art and screens at this point. Been a horrible month and all I can say is: I'm just done with people. I hate playing with, against, talking to, even when I don't even talk to... I even hate being with people or relatives. I'm, apparently, public enemy #1 and shit always has to hit in my face. Traitorous 'friends' who take shit too seriously and over-react, non-stop trolls and grief from anyone who I have ever met or have never met before. Just a never ending cycle of shit, shit, shit, and even more shit even now...
I'm just tired of everything... and everyone. I don't want friends. I don't need people. I just want to be left alone forever, because that's the only message I'm ever going to get apparently. Because it seems that whenever i want to go have a good time, just chill on a game, even loitering and minding my own business... someone, somewhere has it out for me. Fuck this miserable little mudball of a planet IMO. People can't seem to mind their own business let alone show minimal respect for people they've never met before [random please die IM from a random towards me]. -_-
I don't want to hear it anymore of "you can't let them get to you". That's easier said than done! Being an outcast my entire life, i've never been exposed to this amount of shit, and even it was an isolated event, I wouldn't handle it well anyways because of incredible rage issues. Therefor it will forever be a mind-boggling thing when i see people ignore petty things and talk all high and mighty, thinking their better than everyone because they seem to be immune to trolls and griefers. News flash!: not everyone was born with that ability, nor is everyone trained specifically to resist being made fun of. Some of us have been targets since they developed rational thought at a young age. Some of us are forever doomed to walk this shit-hole alone, because the horrific mental scars that haunt us from childhood and severely reinforced into adulthood is a permanent block to even wanting to talk to people, because we always regretted it sooner or later. Because some people... only care for what they want at a moments notice. Some people will betray you. Some people will take advantage of the situation for their own benefit at your expense... And of course some people are just assholes and want cheap entertainment. |C
Why should I bother talking to anyone, look at potential games, or even remotely consider going outside excluding when i have to go to work; when every person on this god-forsaken rock, is a corrupt piece of shit that only looks out for themself...
I've been told that it's sometimes "healthy" to be alone. I'm pretty sure that doesn't count when you've been a loner your whole life, you have no interest in dating or getting married, and you've been outcast in every year of schooling since kindergarden, have had a total of 3 friends between the ages of 5-18 and lost contact with said friends since graduation.
Back to my considering of taking down my arts... I don't know. The only reason I haven't... and this is a long shot at best; someone on SL tried talking to me a few nights ago. I had a revelation of sorts. My sub-conscientiousness may have created my horse as an polar opposite of my true mentality, might explain why she's usually happy and care-free... the things that i never truly had a good taste of growing up. The slight revelation I had hinted that maybe she is my outlet... but is it worth keeping if all people do is make her and me a target?...
IN OTHER NEWS: god help all you trolls and griefers should an internet police gets formed to deal with you harassing pieces of shit. For i will join such an operation instantly. And i will find all of you who unfairly wronged me. And i will exact my revenge upon every last one of you.
Couple things you can try:
Try making quality friendships built on trust and common interests.
Try not to accept every note or request to rp that will come your way. Jeebus number one way to stress out is to get overwhelmed by ad rpers that are even worse friends
If youfeel a wave of depression try just taking a cold shower. It wl wash the depression away try it!
Gotta put your big panties on miss horsey. Your alllllllright :3
i did try to talk with you about it hun and i am glad you did vent to me on skype (i am still open to chat there if you want)
and i do think i did also suggest the same things that sib said, maybe just take a break from fur? i do at times and just go full out on another game, may be be an MMO or a beta!
heck, jsut chit-chat with me or we can both fire up a co-op game and go pewpew!
It's, honestly, the communities and developers who are failing right now. People don't want to be held accountable for what they do. Because they can't be held accountable. There are no rules on the internet. There's nothing in line for when harrassment occurs. That said, as long as there's no structure of law and order on the net, people will be assholes to eachother, they will do what they please with no sense of punishment or correction; and this applies to game developers who publish games that are broken and lie about the bugs and glitches as "flavor" for their game, when they don't want to fix it and give you your monies worth; they essentially give you a $15 game at a $60 price and you're sitting there with no compensation for buying a broken game.
You wouldn't believe how many times I wished I could kill people on the other sides of the Net, just outright murder them... fuckers that they are, pretending to be alphas, having those skills and personalities that pull people to them... but alas: we get over it and move on. Also: if people are telling you to "go kill yourself" "Go die" they're DIRECTLY breaking EULA, of any game, and will always get a ban, and sometimes, even paying people can be outright blocked and removed from the systems.
There ARE other ways of dealing with such people: usually illegal hacking and tracking of IPs and infiltration of their PCs via a local area network, or direct-link and uploading of viruses and all... or just burn their houses down with a molotov... insurance will cover their homes and all, but it won't replace that irreplaceable information on their harddrives and all, haha! Trust me... I've thought about it before, after some "friend" fucked me over on EVE Online, and left me high and dry. I was lucky to pay for my PLEX not 2 weeks later... bunch of traitorous fucks...
In any case: SL is a dying game, and should've died years ago... WoW is still losing membership, EVE is still... well... EVE... and STEAM makes the current game markets go round. Personally: wish I could've known you, wish I could know you, so I could help out, because I do know your pain, and I know how to fight it.