I actually have a useless super power.

Well, not quite useless.

Anyway, I managed to win a T-shirt by guessing a number ranging from 1-100. I didn't guess, I got the number correct on the first try by determining the number via the sound the noisy marker made when it was written down on a note card.

Heh, that is actually pretty usefull if you got a shirt out of it. XD

The t-shirt is three or four sizes too small, however.

How about turning everything you touch into stone? Everything

When you say "touch" is it limited to your hands or every part of your body that touches stuff?

Any part of your body touching anything else

"Hey dude, aren't you always technically touching yourself?"

"Well fu..." *stone*

The moment he is granted this power, he and the entire world would turn to stone. XD

Well the earth kinda is already stone on the surface x3

I guess not yourself xD but you know what I mean

*makes in immature penis joke*

Lol

Hey, this guy could solve world hunger.

And your arch-rival who turns kumquats into soapy residue, Scum-Quat.

The ability to see the world only in 2D...

Would this guys pov be like Doom? Or would he not even be able to comprehend depth?

Well, Doom is kinda 2.5D...So no, everything would look totally flat. No depth at all, like a lot of modern movie directors. X3

Another one: The ability to cause 1mph breezes.

Getting that last one is easy. just eat at Taco Bell.

What ever aqua mans super powers are!

How about the power to fly, but only under water. XD

Aquaman can summon Cthulhu.

Idk any lame powers xc.

The power to turn your snot into poop. That's a TERRIBLE power to have.

And Meltman! With the power to...MELT.

The ability to communicate with chickens, they never have anything interesting to say.

Do they tell you their wants and desires?

Yeah, you can't get them to shut up either.

How about the power to start an argument between two random people who do/don't know each other at any given moment and time? x3

That is "arguably" a useful power.

Ability to open doors.
Ability to write with #2 pencils, and only #2 pencils.
Ability to age at the normal rate.
Ability to pick up the remote but not press any of the buttons.

Ability to become invisible when nobody is near, the ability to always snore, and the ability to pee in an electrical socket without getting electrocuted. I love the poison example, btw.

Mystery men did that first one

well the life death state is technicly when you astroproject to beable to do that easly when in a box can be usefull or for long trips in space slow down age process so on

The ability to instantly tangle up cords, without the long wait that usually comes with cable tangling.

LOL

Reminds me of Mystery Men, one character could only be invisible when no one was looking

The power to remove chocolate chips from cookies right before eating them.
Its sad and frustrating power as you never get the best part of the cookies.

I feel bad for the poor individual with that super power.

Polly Dactyl, a girl gifted with the power to increase and decrease the number of fingers or toes on each of her limbs within certain limits.

not really a useless power, but I once ,made a mutant character I never played that had pain absorption and conversion, he had other powers that were painful as a merit instead, but he had a crippling phobia of condiments. nobody would let me use him in a game.

actual useless superpowers. grow and retract your fingernails at will (Meg from Family Guy), and Homer Simpson's beard.

The power to travel through time!
...but only forwards. At a rate of one second per second.

The strength of an ant! No, not proportionately; You are literally as strong as an ant.

The ability to fluently speak any language... but it doesn't come with the ability to understand them, so you don't actually know what you're saying.

The ability to spin around really really fast. It doesn't cause tornadoes or let you fly like a helicopter or anything, it just makes you get dizzy.

The power to inhale oxygen and exhale it as carbon dioxide.

The ability to transform into dead historical figures. They're still dead, though.

You can breathe fire. Not like a dragon, I mean like a fish breathes water.
Alternately, you can breathe fire like a dragon, but you're not fireproof. That includes internally.

The ability to change your gender identity at will. Doesn't change your shape, or your organs, or your sexual orientation. You just consider yourself a (whatever) now.

The power to dissolve into your component atoms, but without the power to recombine them.

Immortality! But not invulnerability or eternal youth; you just can't die. Ever.

The power to go into full-body seizures at will.

The ability to summon really heavy objects, but only directly above you.

The ability to jump as high as you want... but not the ability to survive falling from a great height.

You see in third-person, like you're looking through a camera floating behind your shoulder. You can't zoom in/out or swivel it around, though. You also can't turn it off.

You can survive the vacuum of space unharmed... but you still need oxygen to breathe.

...And MELTMAN, with the- Oh damn, someone already made that reference.