FA+
Shop
Updates
11 years ago
General
This is sort of depressing so if you don't want to listen to me whine don't read.
Every time I eat I am in serious pain so I try not to eat as much, but yet I keep gaining weight. I don't like it one bit...There are rolls on my neck and my stomach is growing outwards...it's awful...
Between my parents discussing how f*ed up I am and my weight my self esteem has hit rock bottom and my depression has reached an all time high. I can't enjoy time with my mate because I'm upset and miserable 24/7. I never tell him the whole story because I don't want to scare him or bring him down. My last 2 relationships have ended due to me "talking it out" like they wanted. So I give him the petty problems. "It's ok dear, my tummy will get better one day" "mom's just being rough on me today" "Kids at school have a sick sense of humor" "I ate lunch alone". I just can't tell him everything....
I haven't been able to draw all summer. Either I don't feel like it or I have no idea what to draw. My hands won't work.
My deviantart and tumblr are going awful. I'm being snapped at or being dragged into uncomfortable situations and fights...
It just hasn't been a good summer and now I'm struggling to get into a college. Too much paperwork and foolishness. The stupid bitch didn't get my application and now I have to take a math placement test because I made 20 points too low on the SAT. This is ridiculous. It makes me not want to go to college....
Every time I eat I am in serious pain so I try not to eat as much, but yet I keep gaining weight. I don't like it one bit...There are rolls on my neck and my stomach is growing outwards...it's awful...
Between my parents discussing how f*ed up I am and my weight my self esteem has hit rock bottom and my depression has reached an all time high. I can't enjoy time with my mate because I'm upset and miserable 24/7. I never tell him the whole story because I don't want to scare him or bring him down. My last 2 relationships have ended due to me "talking it out" like they wanted. So I give him the petty problems. "It's ok dear, my tummy will get better one day" "mom's just being rough on me today" "Kids at school have a sick sense of humor" "I ate lunch alone". I just can't tell him everything....
I haven't been able to draw all summer. Either I don't feel like it or I have no idea what to draw. My hands won't work.
My deviantart and tumblr are going awful. I'm being snapped at or being dragged into uncomfortable situations and fights...
It just hasn't been a good summer and now I'm struggling to get into a college. Too much paperwork and foolishness. The stupid bitch didn't get my application and now I have to take a math placement test because I made 20 points too low on the SAT. This is ridiculous. It makes me not want to go to college....
Yes...I feel very overwhelmed.
I will have to live where I am since it is local and I can not afford to live on my own just yet.
I need to...i have to talk with my parents about it first. There is a lot wrong with me and it is worrisome. I am not sure if it is what I eat or my hormones. I was born with too much testosterone.
Ok...I will take breaks from a few sites.
I took it today and it wasn't so bad. 20 online questions and I don't even have to take remedial classes. I'm taking basic algebra. I also only have to go 2 days a week. I'll have classes that start around 8 and end around 5. There are about 1 or 2 hours between each. That time will be a study hall for me. I'm so glad to finally be able to get out of the house. When I finally get my drivers licence it'll be even better. Tomorrow I just have to work out my financial aid and get books and I'm done with all the set up. Tuesday will be my first day.