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A note to my twelve year old self.
11 years ago
General
Hey there, maddy.
It's you, from the future. Trust me, I know it sounds weird and amazing, and I know you've always kind of thought of cloning yourself and having another you, but you gotta believe me and put aside the fantasy shit for a few seconds, kiddo, okay?
If you don't believe this note, I'll prove it to you. You were born at 10:35 am on a Friday morning, may fifth, '95. You're really into anime, and you wanna fit in at school with the kids by wearing that ridiculous Naruto headband (trust me, it doesn't look cool at all). CONvergence is something you look forward to every year, and when you were a kid, you saw a big, yellow tarantula on your leg that made you scared of spiders and creepy crawly things, but either nobody believes you saw it, or people just shrug it off, and you hate that shit.
I'm sending you this letter to tell you a few things which you're gonna need to know, or else in the future, shit gets all fucked up.
Firstly, kids don't like you. I know it hurts to hear, but no matter what you do, kids are gonna be dirty fucking bastards who'll do anything to either exclude you, piss you off, make you cry, and make you wish you were dead. What you have to understand is that, after highschool, those kids don't mean jack shit. Oh, and Susie's an uptight old lady who takes shit too seriously. That 'need for a muffin' thing was hysterical and you and mom KNOW it. Lol
Secondly, if you don't want those kids to fuck with you, for christ's sake, DON'T EGG THEM ON OVER YOUTUBE. Granted, a death threat through video is messed up to make towards a classmate, and you're NOT a crazy bitch. People DO like you, believe me. In the future, you're pretty popular with dad's friends at the Saloon. You'll see what I mean in about seven or so years.
Thirdly, weed is awesome. Enough fuckin' said. Trust me, bruv.
Fourthly, and this is VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT, SO LISTEN UP, FUCKER.
You know that guy Wolf? Yea, you know who I mean. That nice native guy with the three cute kids who you just adore the hell out of?
Stay away from him.
Don't ask why, and DON'T ignore my advice. STAY. AWAY. FROM. HIM. I can't tell you why, but I will tell you that if you do anything with him, or let him stay in your life, you're gonna throw away your childhood and something you SHOULD save for someone who's not a sick motherfucking pedo. He's bad news, and you need to stay the fuck away from him, or else Eyabey, Zeke and Evee are gonna get taken away.
your future is bright as hell, kiddo. You are amazing, and you are beautiful both inside and out. Don't stress, even when it comes to Grandma and Forrest. They love you very much, and you should appreciate your time with them as much as possible.
Give grandma a hug for me... And Forrest, too. I miss them a lot...
-From your nineteen year old self.
It's you, from the future. Trust me, I know it sounds weird and amazing, and I know you've always kind of thought of cloning yourself and having another you, but you gotta believe me and put aside the fantasy shit for a few seconds, kiddo, okay?
If you don't believe this note, I'll prove it to you. You were born at 10:35 am on a Friday morning, may fifth, '95. You're really into anime, and you wanna fit in at school with the kids by wearing that ridiculous Naruto headband (trust me, it doesn't look cool at all). CONvergence is something you look forward to every year, and when you were a kid, you saw a big, yellow tarantula on your leg that made you scared of spiders and creepy crawly things, but either nobody believes you saw it, or people just shrug it off, and you hate that shit.
I'm sending you this letter to tell you a few things which you're gonna need to know, or else in the future, shit gets all fucked up.
Firstly, kids don't like you. I know it hurts to hear, but no matter what you do, kids are gonna be dirty fucking bastards who'll do anything to either exclude you, piss you off, make you cry, and make you wish you were dead. What you have to understand is that, after highschool, those kids don't mean jack shit. Oh, and Susie's an uptight old lady who takes shit too seriously. That 'need for a muffin' thing was hysterical and you and mom KNOW it. Lol
Secondly, if you don't want those kids to fuck with you, for christ's sake, DON'T EGG THEM ON OVER YOUTUBE. Granted, a death threat through video is messed up to make towards a classmate, and you're NOT a crazy bitch. People DO like you, believe me. In the future, you're pretty popular with dad's friends at the Saloon. You'll see what I mean in about seven or so years.
Thirdly, weed is awesome. Enough fuckin' said. Trust me, bruv.
Fourthly, and this is VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT, SO LISTEN UP, FUCKER.
You know that guy Wolf? Yea, you know who I mean. That nice native guy with the three cute kids who you just adore the hell out of?
Stay away from him.
Don't ask why, and DON'T ignore my advice. STAY. AWAY. FROM. HIM. I can't tell you why, but I will tell you that if you do anything with him, or let him stay in your life, you're gonna throw away your childhood and something you SHOULD save for someone who's not a sick motherfucking pedo. He's bad news, and you need to stay the fuck away from him, or else Eyabey, Zeke and Evee are gonna get taken away.
your future is bright as hell, kiddo. You are amazing, and you are beautiful both inside and out. Don't stress, even when it comes to Grandma and Forrest. They love you very much, and you should appreciate your time with them as much as possible.
Give grandma a hug for me... And Forrest, too. I miss them a lot...
-From your nineteen year old self.
That's moving foward.
PSS. Make sure that at some point in yer life ya make sure ta smoke weed with goodwuffs whenever ya can!
PSSS! Oh... an if ya ever figure out what this big fascination burrs have with wearin'/lookin' at an drawin' themselves an others in their undies be sure ta explain it ta a certain blonde wuff...he's been wonderin' 'bout this burr-undies fixation fer years! ;)