I hate my life so much everything is always so fucking terrible. Situation at home is the stupidest thing ever, family can't do anything for themselves and I have been doing everything for them for like at least 3 years now, have been waiting for over a third of a year to find out if any of us are eligible for medicaid health insurance stuff and they just say that they're "still processing" it since like March 31st or something, constantly worried about us having enough money to stay in this house, a million and a half games I want but can't have, lawnmower broke in the middle of mowing the lawn yesterday, everything I do always ends up so terribly and now my collar's just missing. Always put it in the same place as the matching cuffs and foxhat and rainbowstockings and gloves and stuff but it's just gone, nothing else has even been disturbed. I haven't ever ever put it anywhere but there, or around my neck, but nope it's just gone for good I have spent hours looking for it and the only possible explanation is that it has now blunk out of existence because my life is a miserable fucking curse in which nothing good ever happens. I am just so stressed and upset and unhappy and everything is always terrible and rawr. Sorry for throwing this on all your journal feeds and I'm sure the title alone will dissuade people from actually reading it anyway but just fuck I am so unhappy.