I can't get myself to do or finish anything anymore... I owe too much, my future doesn't look all that bright, it's just been a wreck.



So sorry for no art lately, my last few attempts have once again been pretty bad. One thing I've been wanting to do is make updated references for GL and Cocoa, but numerous attempts just have it trashed.



I haven't been really active art-wise, and it seems like this is not just affecting me. It's times like this that I debate on continuing this. When it becomes a chore and not fun anymore... it makes it hard to continue without being critical. I can't draw for myself because the amount of things I owe are too high, and when attempting to draw what I owe, I either can never get it right or can't remember what to do.



I've lost too many people due to this, some even saying they'll never commission me again, and I respect that. I probably wouldn't want to commission myself either. No matter what I do I end up messing up eventually. So many mistakes I have made that just continue to haunt me, and I cannot undo what I did or come back from it. Try as I might, as many times that people just encourage me to "just draw for yourself", I can't bring myself to do that.



I don't flat out give up because there are people who still like what I do, and frankly I kinda still like what I do... but it's at the cost of having a giant weight on my shoulders. So this isn't a "I QUIT!" post, more of a status update (because that's another thing I'm bad at, constant communication). Thank you for reading if you did.



~GL/CM