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Depressing life situation update (updated)
11 years ago
Figure I might as well share about what's been going on in my life. Don't read it if you don't want to read me rambling and whinging on about depressing things, as stuff really isn't great and I need to vent a bit.
So, you know that girlfriend I mentioned a couple of journals back, the one that was amazing and helped me get my life back together? The one I drew some things for and stuff? Yeah, I haven't heard a word from her in 3 weeks now, and she was increasingly wanting nothing to do with me before then as well.
I saw this coming for a good while before this, and gradually started having a complete mental breakdown because of it, as I'm rather mentally fucked from past experiences. I'm still trying to recover from the worst of said breakdown and keep myself at least vaguely alive and semi-sane, but it's not an easy task, as I've never broken down that badly before. I think I've managed to get myself a little more stable, but that's not saying a whole lot. I'm trying, though.
I guess I should probably give up on things ever getting repaired with my girlfriend, and maybe it wouldn't even be a good idea to try, considering how she was treating me before the abandonment thing. I don't know. She never actually broke up with me, but I'm increasingly getting the feeling that she's just never coming back. I honestly don't know what I do to attract abuse and neglect from girls in five different relationships now, and I'm starting to think it must be something wrong with me.
Anyway...so there's that. My mind just kinda finally broke awhile back, and I'm still trying to glue the pieces back together whilst going through an unpleasant and rather mentally-unfriendly situation. My creative output has kind of stagnated even though I've wanted to do things, as I've not been feeling well enough to do much, but I'm trying. Need things to keep me occupied.
Sorry for the extreme mopiness of this journal update.
Update: Finally heard from my now ex-girlfriend briefly today. We're indeed over, but at least I finally got to directly hear so from her, and at least it was a civil conversation. Still sucks, but I was expecting it by this point, and at least I have some closure now.
So, you know that girlfriend I mentioned a couple of journals back, the one that was amazing and helped me get my life back together? The one I drew some things for and stuff? Yeah, I haven't heard a word from her in 3 weeks now, and she was increasingly wanting nothing to do with me before then as well.
I saw this coming for a good while before this, and gradually started having a complete mental breakdown because of it, as I'm rather mentally fucked from past experiences. I'm still trying to recover from the worst of said breakdown and keep myself at least vaguely alive and semi-sane, but it's not an easy task, as I've never broken down that badly before. I think I've managed to get myself a little more stable, but that's not saying a whole lot. I'm trying, though.
I guess I should probably give up on things ever getting repaired with my girlfriend, and maybe it wouldn't even be a good idea to try, considering how she was treating me before the abandonment thing. I don't know. She never actually broke up with me, but I'm increasingly getting the feeling that she's just never coming back. I honestly don't know what I do to attract abuse and neglect from girls in five different relationships now, and I'm starting to think it must be something wrong with me.
Anyway...so there's that. My mind just kinda finally broke awhile back, and I'm still trying to glue the pieces back together whilst going through an unpleasant and rather mentally-unfriendly situation. My creative output has kind of stagnated even though I've wanted to do things, as I've not been feeling well enough to do much, but I'm trying. Need things to keep me occupied.
Sorry for the extreme mopiness of this journal update.
Update: Finally heard from my now ex-girlfriend briefly today. We're indeed over, but at least I finally got to directly hear so from her, and at least it was a civil conversation. Still sucks, but I was expecting it by this point, and at least I have some closure now.
I wish I had words of encouragement or answers to all relationship issues out there, but all I can do is be supportive and assure you that happiness is out there, no matter the struggles or hardships that you must endure on that journey. With everything you've been through, you've proven that you have the strength and fortitude to keep moving forward.
Don't give up on yourself, or your future.
If you need, you can always note me or ask me for my Skype via note.