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Now That I Have Thought This Through..
11 years ago
General
BEGIN!
A brief summary of what my perspective was after the events of August is in order. Maybe it's just me (or at least so I thought) but when it comes down to friends who intentionally exclude you from interacting with other friends, they are definitely not your friends. It wasn't enough that I and my girl literally had to not only ask to join in on conversations unlike other people that we were I thought overlooked, but that suddenly out of nowhere a journal blasting both of us came out of nowhere left my head literally spinning in confusion about things that were "going on".
I don't know if anyone has even noticed, but if I have a problem with someone, I literally take it right to them. I also have a tendency to treat people how I feel I am being treated myself. This is what I did after that journal, but I wasn't satisfied with the responses I received. It came to the sum total that I asked if our requests to join in on conversation were just simply missed since me and misunderstandings happen from time to time. No one is perfect. The response I received however was along the lines of "Nope, I didn't miss it. I didn't want either of you there." When I asked why this was, the response I got was about bullshit that I thought was already resolved. A fucking Grudge.
This is basically how the Barb situation that happened a few years ago turned out too. A clique formed inside of a group and only those inside that clique got any "fair" treatment out of the whole deal. During games they were the only ones to ever get gear, during conversations, they excluded anyone who just "didn't belong" and even everyone involved who thought they were friends were literally treated like shit.
This is what caused me to react quickly and remove people from my Skype. I don't at all believe in staying where I feel absolutely unwelcome and quite frankly this treatment was extremely unfair. I've also been noticing some other behavior changes that cause me to acknowledge that I no longer want anything to do with this person. It only begins with the familiar phrase of "The pot calling the kettle 'black'."
Once again I found myself afterward trying to tell myself "okay, maybe it is all just some misunderstanding because I still respect this person as an old friend" and so on. Once again, trying to get involved has found me rather isolated after both my girl and I tried one more time to get involved and were met with a solid "No".
I'll say it again. I want nothing to do with this because I have better things to do with my time than waste it acting like some friendly bum begging for scraps. I refuse to have another Barb situation build up all over again because all this is doing is not only pissing me off, insulting, demeaning, but to drag it out all over people who know no better makes it that much more worse. It seriously turns one into the drama monger they claim to hate.
It boils down to this: What is seriously more important to you as a whole?
My answer is this: Me, myself and I. I prefer to feel welcome. I want nothing to do with that kind of person who intentionally drives a wedge between friends.
damnevildog had a very valid point: Friends should be easy. There shouldn't be any of this drama crap because all you should be interested in is hanging out and having fun.
I believe that to be true.
I don't know if anyone has even noticed, but if I have a problem with someone, I literally take it right to them. I also have a tendency to treat people how I feel I am being treated myself. This is what I did after that journal, but I wasn't satisfied with the responses I received. It came to the sum total that I asked if our requests to join in on conversation were just simply missed since me and misunderstandings happen from time to time. No one is perfect. The response I received however was along the lines of "Nope, I didn't miss it. I didn't want either of you there." When I asked why this was, the response I got was about bullshit that I thought was already resolved. A fucking Grudge.
This is basically how the Barb situation that happened a few years ago turned out too. A clique formed inside of a group and only those inside that clique got any "fair" treatment out of the whole deal. During games they were the only ones to ever get gear, during conversations, they excluded anyone who just "didn't belong" and even everyone involved who thought they were friends were literally treated like shit.
This is what caused me to react quickly and remove people from my Skype. I don't at all believe in staying where I feel absolutely unwelcome and quite frankly this treatment was extremely unfair. I've also been noticing some other behavior changes that cause me to acknowledge that I no longer want anything to do with this person. It only begins with the familiar phrase of "The pot calling the kettle 'black'."
Once again I found myself afterward trying to tell myself "okay, maybe it is all just some misunderstanding because I still respect this person as an old friend" and so on. Once again, trying to get involved has found me rather isolated after both my girl and I tried one more time to get involved and were met with a solid "No".
I'll say it again. I want nothing to do with this because I have better things to do with my time than waste it acting like some friendly bum begging for scraps. I refuse to have another Barb situation build up all over again because all this is doing is not only pissing me off, insulting, demeaning, but to drag it out all over people who know no better makes it that much more worse. It seriously turns one into the drama monger they claim to hate.
It boils down to this: What is seriously more important to you as a whole?
My answer is this: Me, myself and I. I prefer to feel welcome. I want nothing to do with that kind of person who intentionally drives a wedge between friends.
damnevildog had a very valid point: Friends should be easy. There shouldn't be any of this drama crap because all you should be interested in is hanging out and having fun.I believe that to be true.
Yeah, don't let anyone treat you guys wrong. You are great people >.>
Sorry this is happening to you.
You seemed to have gotten upset about that fact, but I was not excluding anyone as preferential treatment at the time, I did at one point, I kicked out the other person for a little while so I could talk to my girl in private (you have a girl you must know how that feels, I mean it seems like you two have been less chatty and only want to be in calls a lot of the times when I stream)
After she went to bed and I did not mind being in a big call I re-added that person and two others (one of which was your girl, would have been you too if you had stayed) thing is with me being tired and talking to so many people about things that were not game related I started to die a lot more in game...
Anyway, if this journal was about last night and about me it feels really unneeded because you are seeing things that are not there, I am not gonna segregate people from my life for the sake of others, you may have felt like that, but how many people felt like that when it was me you and your girl in calls only.
You quoted something I always believe, even cited me, friendships should be easy, I am gonna want to talk to my girl alone sometimes yes, but I want to talk to all my friends, this is not fair to me, this journal is baiting more drama that I can't handle really.
I love you guys, I don't want this crap to continue on...
The whole of this is that I'm hoping people understand, I don't like feeling like I'm being slammed, because yes, I can hold a grudge for a really, really long time. Sometimes, when subtle things happen after it was thought to have been resolved, I can react out of reflex, which isn't necessarily good.
But this case is one where I had to sit back and think calmly on the events of last month and prior. Last night, no.
I only want to say this, make sure things are the way you are thinking they are, getting upset and doing drastic things when not knowing the full details is not wise, I know you have been burned in the past, but my close friends are close for a reason.
I don't want to be stuck in the middle, but I also don't want to lose any of you all.
I hope you get everything resolved between you and the offending party. I do think it sucks that you're having a fight with a friend. I hope I didn't just stick my giant nose where you didn't want my opinion. ^^;
I just literally don't want to play the part all over again of having to just simply walk away. The last time this transpired years ago, I became so angry at that person (Barb) that I was literally cooking meat in my hand. I can't even begin to explain how it was even possible and I know it sounds phoney, but I was so angry at that incident years ago there's no way to even exaggerate. It's because of that memory, that I get flash backs to it every time something subtle happens.
I hope you get it all resolved and sorted.