Sorry to hear that man, but you know you've got us all rooting for you. I'm sure you don't need to worry about letting anyone down or keeping people waiting on you art-wise either; there's no rush and no pressure.

Chin up big guy! Here's hoping you muscle on through it alright.

I've dealt with serious depression before, you have my sympathies. Here's hoping you feel better soon enough.

Oh no. I hope things turn around for you soon. :( Take care of yourself!

Good luck man, no worries, no rush, Artists area always thinking of the commissioners but it's the commissioners who should be thinking of the artists.

Smile before you pick up that paint brush :)

<3

What it sounds like is seasonal affective disorder, "Winter Blues", only it's come earlier than usual. If you spend a lot of time inside that might be the reason. Get out into the sun as much as possible, or take a lot of Vit D.

I make it a point to get out as much as possible (I go for walks for at least a half-hour every day) and I used to think it was SAD for a while, but it's rarely kept a consistent schedule. I just kinda happens.

Good luck pushing through <3 I suffer the same through the family line and now that the seasons are changing my mind set is going with it. Props to you for handling it in an appropriate way and being aware of whats happening. Its being confused that will get the best of ya.

I know exactly what you mean about everything seeming gray, it's like a fog and I don't notice it until I'm having a day where I'm not depressed which is rare. I'm surprised you can deal with it on your own, if I didn't take medication, I'd've done something drastic long ago.

Power through it, dude. I'm rootin' for you.

I'll make it through, I always do. Stubborness and a strong will also runs in the family, so plowing through it is kind of a point of pride for me.

Sucks man.

After 6 years of being on so many different meds that never worked for me and just made shit worse, I've been going med-free for about a month now. This year, I've been hospitalized for my mental health issues twice. Both experiences were traumatizing for me. But on the other side, I've gotten over my drug abuse for the most part, but I still struggle with cravings every now and then.

This fall is a crisis for many. Problems like drops of water, one by one, getting into the big mudslide. Adding to that some personal habit situations of last days and mental coldness of great gray fall - it's hard to hold on thru explosion that-size.

Take care

Take the time you need to recover, man. As long as you don't completely give up. You have alot of support on your side.

As someone who has it as well, I know where you're coming from. People think it's just as easy as turning off a light switch to get rid of it, but it's infinitely the opposite.
Keep your chin up man. It's like an endless tidal wave for me. I try to surf on it, but I fall a lot and get pulled into the current. But hey, that's life, right? Just keep pushing forward like you have. You're a great person Strype.
*Tanek*

Good luck on fighting the depression man, you seemed a very nice guy and a tough one to handle alot. You got this and were wooing for you to be more energized and more better. <=)

Terribly sorry to hear you're being bothered by depression. I hate when it just happens without any reason.

You can do it man! We'll be cheering you on! Deck that douchebag Depression right in the schnoz!

I suffer from much the same. To stay motivated, I've found little walks outside can help immensely, since you know you're doing something good for yourself, you're out of the house, you're getting fresh air and whatnot.

I wish you the best.

Sorry to hear that dude. You can talk to this wuff if you want

As kind as it is to offer, as I mentioned, it's entirely neurochemical, not emotional. I just have my dull periods, regardless of what's going on my life

How long has it been since you tried meds? They were ineffective in your teens, but it may be worth checking the situation out again to see if doctors have come up with something better in the years since.

Sorry to hear about this, kind sir. I've had my share of depression last month. I couldn't bear it! I hope you'll be ok.

Oof. You and me both. I've noticed I'm in a similar slump-down. I think its just something about this season that is really suckerpunching the senses. X_x

Whoa sorry to hear that
I do not want imply anything or look like a know-it-all, i am no medic but i would not give away medicament treatment. They may seem as useless, but if the disease is left unchecked it may come back with extra power. Especially if you say it is neurochemical, then in the longer run, willpower may not actually be enough. Thats just my opinion but i would personally take the meds and endure if not for the healing then perhaps for slowing down or to ease the disease.The real neurochemical depression is dangerous and lethal (sorry for being all captain obvious). Thats just my opinion, you will do as you will. Hope you will get better though.

Man... tough of you to stick it out on your own, and good that you can identify its onset with a logically derived sense of perception; that will always help in sorting through it. Meds are just... egh... they work for some, but the side-effects are always a big down side (and that goes for just about any kind of meds). One scientist I saw in a TED talk really put it a good way saying:

"Our method of delivering medication is very primitive right now. Think of it like changing the oil in your car by pouring gallons and gallons of oil over the engine, hoping some gets in."

I hope it passes soon for you. And I don't mind you hitting me up for a talk or anything if you need it. Heck, we're local - I can PM you my phone# if you really need it. Never should have to chug through stuff like that alone.

TC being kind as always

As for the anti depr. they did the same to me since i was 13, being off them since june, is better, but still aint perfect because many things in the brain are unlocking and hormonal colossal changes.

I don't think there is such a thing as a "perfect" solution; depression is a serious issue, and one that we're honestly still trying to decipher medically. I hope in my life time I see the day when they crack it and do have a fix that works without issues. Until then, I always offer whatever I can to folks - you can't fix depression by turning a blind eye and not taking the time to empathize with the person's needs. :/

Indeed, compassion and empathy can alleviate the symptom's of depression. Ignoring the signs and "cries for help" is the worst thing, but sadly in this fandom people take advantage out of it, which is why, ironicly, the quiet ones, rarely or never speak about it because either: they know that will be mostly ignored, will be seen as "whiny", being aware that sharing your issues online wont help.

So think like this: before jumping into the conclusion that the said invidual is whining or " venting" because wants "attention", first know the backround behind the person, every individual is different so there always will be different reasons.
Teenagers usualy go trough alot of emotional issues, which is why they seem to be doing that mostly, but do not ignore that, the feelings are real, and they even can be irrational. So guide them into the right path instead of being " shut up its just puberty".

Again, many people turn themselves into victims on purpose to fish for attention, and you can only be sure if thats true by knowing the person. Internet shares alot of info about us, usually those that share the least, are the ones who hide to avoid harassment for looking like a social weakling, and usually they suffer in silence because there is nothing that can be done about it.

In the end, empathy should also be logical without being too judjemental, or avoiding to enable unhealthy behavior.

Fingers tired...

Mmf... beautifully said Aura. :) And that's just it - no matter what the case, one can't just jump to a conclusion without understanding all relevant information about the problem. Even then, there's no "jumping" to anything because every case is unique and requires individualized attention. It takes time, and many folks are not willing or able to make that emotional investment in a stranger (or sometimes even a friend).

Yep Thats true too :3

The more zen (or what ever word you want to use for it ) you are, the easier it is to cope with. The idea is to balance your mental and physical state and if possible your spirital state. That makes it easier for the brain to compensate for what the depression takes away. As you know, and anyone else who has depression, it won't ever go away. You can just deal with it, and keeping balance is the most effective way to do that. Find a method that you want to look into and go for it. For me, it is Wicca, for others it may be as simple as eating an apple a day or as complicated as unraveling your very beign until you come across some sort of ephiphany... anyway, it's a personal choice, but that's my advise. I can only tell you what worked for me.

I kinda do the zen thing myself. Keeping a very broad and balanced sense of perspective. I'm an optimist in general, so I figure that helps too, and approaching this with a logical mindset has helped defuse the negative emotional effects that I used to get.

I have dystymia myself, been untreated for years because it suppresses short-term memory, so, naturally, I kept forgetting to take the meds.

I know how you feel. I suffer from anxiety and depression myself from time to time. Specifically panic disorder which was crippling to my own workflow last year. It sucks when you can't go "this is why I'm upset, i'll mentally solve it now or talk it out" nope, it's all chemical so you can't help what it makes you into. ): I hope your brain lets up on you and gives you some peace. Take your time on your work and take care of yourself <3

My girl made your day once, at a con, and she impressed upon me that you're an amazing person. I'm sorry you've had a hard time, and I hope things get better for you.

I struggle at times myself, just like she does- but hey, we're never alone.

You're amazing, and I wish you the best.

Man, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Although, I don't notice any dullness of color. Keep up the good work. Love your art man.

I think it's purely psychological, tbh. I normally find colour has an emotional effect on me, and since my emotions are dulled, the colours seem dulled to me as well

You do work with color, maybe that has something to do with it. I pretty much live in a constant neutral state that. Only becoming positive when I receive certain stimulus. It's better than living in constant depression.

Possibly not, research has been done in the past 5 or so years that indicate dulled senses may be caused by the altered neurochemistry of depression itself. Among the studies I know one was measuring the brain's activity in response to viewing images, and it was reduced in those suffering from depression.

I know exactly how you feel, am pretty much in the same boat except for the de-saturation of color. Well, you have more strength than I do to power through it, and I hope you feel better soon tiger.

As someone fighting depression, anxiety, other stupid things themselves recently, I wish you the best. Good luck.

I get memory loss pretty severely myself, it's amazing how varied the symptoms can be. And I had the same experience with medications, the severe withdrawal was enough to keep me away from trying them again as well. It's cool of you to keep communication open with your commissioners, that's something I can respect.

Honestly, it seemed like a good idea. Keeping peeps in the loop means their expectations adapt, and they don't get worried about the status of the pics, thus keeping my stress levels down, meaning I have less to deal with that could be impairing my ability to work. Communication is good for everyone.

Agreed, wish more around here shared the same attitude.

Yeah depression hits me every so often too, I'm just thankful I can bounce back. Though like you said it doesn't stem from stuff going poorly in your life, just chemistry.

Keep you head up and stay strong!

Feel free to reach out if you just wanna chat. I know I'm just another cat in the crowd, but I enjoy a nice non-furry chat and/or game or whatnot every now and then *winghugs*

You can do it! I did it for 6 years, just if it gets too bad talk to someone please :)

My dad's been suffering from depressions for almost 10 years, it took him some time to start fighting, but he finally got over them not so long ago.
Hope you'll get rid of them soon, so glad you're not giving in as many people do!

Never knew You suffered from depression, sucks to hear.
Keep up talking to people to Distract your mind, and do small things that give a sense of a accomplishment.
Just giving tips that helped me in the past, might as well share it.

Ow, man, that must suck hard! It's your body that just decides to be a bitch. I'm glad I never experienced it. You're strong!

If you know of any music that can bring you to tears, that is usually my best method of release
Best of luck, we're on your side

I've got some tunage that has some power to it. if you haven't listened yet, I personally recommend Devin Townsend's "Epicloud" album, it's nearly impossible to walk away from that one without a smile

It's like Queen and Dream Theater had a lovechild, I can dig it. :V Towns(h)end seems to a naturally musical name. Thanks for sharing!

Epicloud is an amazing album. Was top of the metal charts for my radio station when it came out.

To me working out and being productive is the best way to get out of it. But with depression, everything seems a lot harder. It feels extra good when its done, though.

Control over food intake, sleep schedule and general schedule makes me feel a lot better, anyway. I tend to do work and stuff that aren't "too good" for my brain very slowly, though. Moving furniture and making things look a bit different than usual makes me feel more inspired to do more art, if that helps?

Also analysing the situation when you're at the start of a depressive thought spiral is a good idea. Force yourself to think positive thoughts. At one point you'll believe in what you are telling yourself.

distracting yourself is also a good solution!

:3c

Hope your spirit comes back soon :(

Don;t apologies its serious illness all i could suggest is you should try taking vitamin d3 it helped me really a lot , while im not yet on normality level , lots stuff is much easier

Stay tough big guy, depression is a killer

I'm here every step for you if you need to vent or anything

It'll be fiiiiiiiiiiine. You'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. You're an awesome guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuy.
Next time I'll sing a happy song I'll dedicate it to ya :D

best wishes to you Strype I know how depression can hit someone .

take it easy if you can and be sure not to overdo yourself on the
commissions if you can help it .

*Hug* Here is hoping you get over it soon.

Hope it goes away soon :< had to fight with it myself as well, screwing over my studying for uni really really bad, got half a year to a year to catch up now, which is already a pain, can't imagine how annoying it'd be to have it chronically.

Aww shit man.

I hope your brain sorts itself out as soon as superhumanly possible!

Keeping you in Prayers, Keep fighting the good fight!

I sympathize and empathize.

Hey Strype you should seriously talk to a psychologist and ask about Lexapro, when I was sixteen years old I was diagnosed with clinical depression which means I'm depressed all the time, 24 hours a day seven days a week. Thats without my Lexapro with it however I rarely ever get depressed only when something really upsetting happens do I get a bout of depression, it also acts a little bit like a Xanax calms me done alot. It has a few side effects on some people so before asking a Doctor for a perception google Lexapro side effects. It does work very well so please at least check it out, I know how deadly depression can be from personal experience. Regardless of what you do hang in there and get better soon.

I have depression as well. So I feel your pain, bro.

I know the feels strype. so I have this to say this for the both of us.
F-you derression you don't on US! *kicks depression in the face*

I'm sorry.

Well wishes and hey, holiday season with friends and family coming soon, so something to look forward to if you have things planned

... *sets a cuddly TiberChan on the Strype for the warm cuddly stuff*

Not even exercise helps?

Should I doodle you some flapping robot penis?

Diabetes can cause Depression to worsen, so keep an eye on the glucose levels and keep the spirit up mate

Hang in there kid! Lots of love sent your way :D

Take care man, we're all here for you.

Been dealing with depressions all my live, had to see even a hospital once. Hope you will get fine!

Runs in the family, hell, it runs in society :p

Depression sucks, good luck powering through it!

I don't know if you do this already, but if you try exercise, it might help. :) It helps with me. Chemically, it releases endorphins and I don't feel so shitty when I do it. Hope it helps.

I didn't realize that altered perception was a part of Depression. I've had that symptom as well (in my case there is an odd blue-grey to everything) but I hadn't really connected it with depression itself.

That said, I do hope your journey through this bout is a short one. I'm nearing a month on my current 'down turn' and I'll sympathize that it's a miserable experience. Feel better soon.

Thank you so much for talking about it and being open. I know we've had only fleeting discussions about commissions and people being asshats about art theft, but if there's anything I can do for you just send me a note.

*hugs you bunches*
I for one will keep you in my prayers. <:)

It sounds like you're already doing well by being able to identify the onset of symptoms and manage your depression, but all the very best with it regardless.

In terms of delays with art, don't sweat it. I'm sure I speak for many of your commissioners when I say I can understand what you're going through and why there will be delays. The most important thing is that you look after yourself. It sounds like this is a battle you've won before and I'm confident you can do so again.

Stay safe!

Well, that sucks dudemanbro. Hopefully it will calm down a bit soon. Having bi-polar disorder I know how much of a pain in the ass it can be to have a mental issue and not be able to do much about it.

Funny, seems like people actually care when you show potential...

hope ur ok and ur up and running soon

I'm a patient for a splattering of mental handicaps myself. At this point the doctors are more a formality than a requirement, I'm ridiculously aware of my own states and go to my doctors with my findings, tell them what I want to do, usually it's the correct course of action.

I believe for myself it began with bipolar disorder, which is a series of cycles, somewhat short ups (few days to a week or two) of ridiculous days-straight energy, excitement, indomitable spirit, and sometimes downright occluded decisionmaking. I got a lot done during these times and fortunately didn't make any lifeshattering stupid decisions during.

Afterwards, sometimes even months of 'normal' time and activity levels following, there would be a down. Not a "things are mehhh" down, but a 'I want to die and there is no good in the world' down. Sleeping for days, down. Lying to avoid social contact down.

I believe that it persisted so long (at least since I was about 14 or so, to my shallnotbenumbered 20s) that it damaged my brain and reduced my 'normal' level of energy and happiness to a depressed level. It was after six months of (VERY MINOR, infact the clinical effective minimum, 300mg*2/day) lithium treatment, seeing things truly in an even keeled and stable sense, that I decided my daily ability to be uplifted and focused wasn't what it should have been. I sought my psychiatrists opinion and he placed me on bupropion, at a dose of 150mg Extended Release (1/day instead of multiple (which is an antidepressant WITHOUT libido-inhibiting effects, trust me...it's quite the opposite... >.<))

So now I feel like I control myself. I feel like I have the ability to make unfettered, logical, truly thoughtful decisions, I have the ability to decide what mood is appropriate and feel it fully. I do not in any way feel foggy, clouded, or over-medicated.

I am no doctor, and I cannot give medical advice. But I assure you, that if you feel like some part of your behavior isn't part of your personality, there's a pretty fair shot it isn't.

You're a pretty awesome dude; I'm sure you'll do okay.

I have depression too and the meds side effects were absolutely horrible. It got to the point where it was just as bad with the meds as without so i stopped taking them.

It can get very frustrating dealing with it. Some days I get so low its like im physically ill and I have to sleep it off.

I wish you the best of luck getting through it and I hope it alleviates at least a little bit asap.

I can relate.

Its hard as hell to tough it out, but more power to ya for doing so.

Always skype-able dude if ya need to shoot the shiz~. :D

I hear ya. Sometimes, just knowing that the problem is there lets me deal with it. Thanks for toughing it out and sharing the awesome stuff you do. Don't have much that others haven't said, and better.

I can realate i have depression n what not but stay strong were all here for you and take your time!!

Here's a bit more empathy coming to you from a fan with the same affliction.

My sister was depressed for a while and after asking around we got 5-htp. You can get it in a little bottle at, well anywhere. They have them at CVS, grocery stores, even Wal-Mart. It made her feel loads better.

I'm currently going through depression.
I have a public Skype. I know how sometimes it's nice to have an outside perspective in periods of negative. Thoughts.
Feel free to contact me if you just need an out of the loop outlet. Community is here for you man~

I know the feeling. After uni screwed up and I was left with no clear plan I had a bout. And now, being out of work after moving for going on seven months now and the benefits people here in the UK alternating between being supportive and nice (one person) and utter assholes (the others) it's back, heh.

At least you're independent, settled with Cooper, able to draw for a living and make liveable cash off of commissions, eh?

I was depressed for several years, but I've never taken any medication.
How I managed to get out of this situation?
The presence of my cat every day has been very valuable. But that's not all.
We need to find the cause of the depression and do everything he can to change the situation. Also, the support of friends and family is paramount.

Now, I refuse to fall into depression, and the real secret for never plunge again into depression , it's silly to say, but he must at all costs avoid anything that has to do with sadness, nostalgia, the regrets or death.

- Which means, avoid like the plague all the sad music which awaken distant memories and that could make you cry.

- Which means, avoid being overwhelmed by remorse of the past failures of life, concerns related to money problems or disease, for example.
Bad things are there, all around us, they are present on a daily basis, unfortunately.

So we need to step back and live with it, otherwise we become mad!

- Which means, watch funny videos, why not find an occupation to distract the mind and for forget your worries.

- Which means, try to frequent joyful and positive people.

I'm not saying to abandon your friends who are also in the same case of depression or unhappy, but when one is oneself in depression, we are in a severely weakened state psychologically, which does not allow to help the others in the best conditions. We must first heal yourself before helping the others, and give them happiness in return.

Hoping for better days for you,
Good luck!

Sorry for my bad English.
Sincerely.

Here's hoping it passes quickly and easily.

some people are born with a tendency toward depression. I wasn't. I was perky, and happy... but I was forced to LEARN depression, and it's a sweaty ball-sucking habit to be forced to learn as a kid >.<

after 40 years... it's hard NOT to be depressed after all the bullshit I've had to wade through... so I know the feeling All To Well.

a little natural remedy recommendations: pepermint and/or green tea for energy, and ginko biloba (can also be taken as tea, but there's tablets) for memory/mental stimulation. the ladder is my replacement for my former ADD medication and it worked wonders for me.
try to keep a steady sleeping schedule the best you can too! not sleeping well messes with your dopamine. :c
and of course, practice an easy stretching routine to get that blood flowin!

Man, depression sucks big time. I wish you a fast recovery and stuff

Sorry to hear that, I hope you come out of this depression soon *hugs*

I've had a few bouts with really bad depression, I know how it can be sometimes. Hope you feel better soonest!

Don't worry. Depression and I are old buddies of a sort. I know the routine, and I know if you feel like you can tough it out and have done so before, this time will be no different. Looking forward to seeing more of your art in the future. Good luck, guy.

Hey, Strypes, I just wanted to commend you on your resolve to stay away from the synthetic meds. That takes guts and no small amount of iron will to not only resist the temptation of a temporary release from the depression, but also to stand up to all of the doctor and peer pressure I think you may have faced.

I also wanted to pass along some info you might find useful. I've been experiencing bouts of depression since I hit puberty, though I didn't realize or understand it at the time. Every year over the past ten years it would hit me, and it was worse and worse every time I experienced it. The last time I went through it, I shut myself down for over four months, not working and rarely speaking with others. Near the end, I was considering the option of suicide every day. It was not the first time I'd thought about it, as the two bouts prior I also considered it then. This time was the only one I actually put a gun in my mouth, though. I'm not attempting to garner sympathy, I'm only sharing that to make it clear how bad it was. After an intervention by loved ones, I went and spoke with a therapist who formally diagnosed me with depression. That was in June of this year.

My mother, a former nurse (she retired to take care of us kids), was well aware of the dangers of anti-depressants, and she helped me steer clear of them. However, we all realized that there was something out of whack with me physically (as I really have no emotional reason to be depressed or suicidal) and that we needed to find some means of correcting the imbalance. She had done a ton of research, and through that she found a company called True Hope (truehope.com). They produce nutritional supplements designed to help correct chemical imbalances that contribute to depression and other mental disorders. What they've found is that our nutrition has a massive impact on the chemical operations of our brain and nervous system.

I've been taking their Empower Advanced formula since June. After about three weeks of taking it, I started to note improvements in my overall mood and perspective. After two months, it was like night and day, the difference between then and how I'd been just two months prior. Every day had been a gloomy struggle to get up and do something productive, let alone something fun. Now, I'm able to take joy in each day without it being forced or contrived, I'm happy to get up and get work done, and even happier afterwards to do the things I enjoy. I still experience all the normal emotions, anger, fear, sadness, elation, love, etc, but experiencing the bad ones no longer throws a wrench not only in the day, but the entire week afterwards like it used to. I'm no longer mired down in hopelessness and all the bad shit I saw, no longer got all of my life's mistakes on constant replay in the theater of my mind. I'm under no illusions that I'm entirely free of it, and I developed some bad habits during my four months of putting myself on hold that I'm still working to correct, but now it feels like I actually have a shot at achieving my desires and hopes and that I'm not a hopeless screw up.

On top of the Empower, I've been taking their GreenBac product (it promotes digestive bacteria, helps the body process the nutrients it needs), which has also made an improvement in how my body feels. Also, vitamin D.

Anyway, I'm not saying this stuff will for sure be right for you, everybody is different, but I thought you might be interested as this might be a viable option for you. If you've got a doctor or therapist you trust and isn't a shill for Big Pharma, talk it over with them and see what they say. I ain't your doc, and maybe this stuff ain't the right stuff for you. I just figure it's worth a shot.

Power to you man. I've always felt that head meds are best reserved as an adjunct to other therapeutic methods, buying you time to learn solid coping strategies. I've never had that luxury, as I have an incredible resilience to pharmaceuticals. Most of them just stop doing anything within 6-8 weeks, so I've had to figure out how to cope on my own, and I am exercising those strategies myself lately, as much as I can. I personally find that nutrition and activity can help.

Crucibles! Lots and lots of wholesome crucibles; Cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, radish, kale . . . etc. They blast any dull brain fart into oblivion :D Those n laughter are the best remedy ever. Best of luck me ode tator ^^ x

I'm a little late for chiming in, but just wanted to say that I can relate to a lot of what you said, symptoms wise at least. Depression is a beast to battle, but sounds like you at least got a good handle on things. It should be obvious that you got a lot of support here, so we all got your back.

Hope you feel better soon! Depression is a nightmare to have and it can be challenging to break out but I hope you be able to power through it! :)