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Update & need advice
11 years ago
General
Random bleating ahead!
So a short update for people expecting art from me, or everyone that's interrested.
FIRST - for people waiting for Art, and everyone that's interrested in Art only.
In case anyone wondered if i got swallowed by some big hole in the ground: no. :P
My parents are on vacation and I'm watching the house. That means I am not on my computer, only have my notebook.
Which means no art except for scribbles in sketchbooks etc. My Aunt being here too makes drawing a little complicated though.
Imagine: "oh what are you drawing? show me"
*drawing dick* "ASDGHASDFA NO!!! DON'T LOOK!"
So my parents are scheduled to return somewhere around mid of next week. Everyone waiting for art will get an update by the weekend then.
Sorry for the wait. Life's troublesome sometimes.
on another note, I thought about making a Patreon for some weekly art updates and stuff. Yes? No? Maybe?... decisions decisions.
SECOND - for everyone on SKYPE
I'm going to clean out my Skype.
If you don't talk to me and we do not have business with each other you will probably get removed.
You can re-add me though, still if you don't talk to me in like half a year, you'll probably get removed again. :P
THIRD - this is a non-art situation i need a bit advice with. If you're not interested in private problems you can stop reading now.
Ookay. So.
This is a bit complicated.
The situation involves 3 people. To make it a bit easier to explain we'll give them nice names.
So the first person we got is this girl that's my best friend. We'll call her 'THE SWAN'.
Then there's her boyfriend whom we'll simply call 'THE DICK'.
And then there's me.
THE SWAN and me have been best friends for nearly 7 years now. We've had a bit of trouble along the way and lost contact for about a year. The year in which THE DICK appeared. So after we got back in contact everything was back to the day we met for the first time (where we spent about... i dunno 36 hours together or more XD) We clicked from the beginning, from the first minute we met, and it was still the same.
She told me about THE DICK and was all yay and stuff. Except for when she told me about this one thing, that made me .. let's say 'dislike' him a bit. At 24 years he was not man enough to tell his mom (who disliked THE SWAN) that he was going to see her or stay over at her place. It was always 'a friend' (in my language referring to a simple male friend). Quite disrespectful if you ask me.
So clearly we didn't start off too well, but whatever. She's happy, who am I to interfere,.... which didn't really keep me from making some not really rude, but maybe mean jokes. To which he didn't say anything actually.
Though i noticed some change in THE SWAN. Meeting with her would get really really hard because she never had time and was alllllways busy. Even though we agreed on weekly meetings.
Until she told me THE DICK didn't want her meeting me. He referred to me as someone the same level as a drug dealer. A. DRUG. DEALER.
I still don't know if i should laugh or just smack him from here to the friggin asian island where he came from.
Good natured as i am i decided to make this our running gag. Always getting a smile from THE SWAN when offering her some 'drugs' (yaoi manga ^^, some fun gay drawings etc)
Until a few weeks ago this was all good. Meeting and stuff. THE DICK would always call at one point and kinda ... rant at her. And it really really hurts me to see that she is hurting emotionally. It makes her SAD that THE FUCKING DICK always trashtalks me. And i can't do anything against it because he won't stop.
The climax of the whole thing was when THE SWAN tried to tell me we couldn't meet anymore because she didn't want THE DICK to get his frilly pink panties in a knot.
Really? 7 years of friendship? And i mean the kind of friendship where she called me IN MY SKIING HOLIDAYS at 2 AM in the morning to 'just talk because she broke up with her boyfriend' and we'd talk more than two hours, with me in the cold kitchen to not disturb anyone, and me knowing that my night ends at fucking 7 AM. I was a snowboarding ZOMBIE that following day. But i'd do it all again.
After i verbally smacked her over the head we're at the 'secret affair' status now. She doesn't want to give up her realationship and she doesn't want to give up our friendship.
We're meeting without THE DICK knowing.
If he finds out, he'll dump her.
And that's where i need your advice.
How do you cope with something like that.
Seeing a person you love being hurt by someone THEY love and not being able to do anything about it.
I can't and won't tell her to break up. She wants the relationship and I am not going to do the same thing as THE DICK and be bossy and a tyrant about that. She's old enough to make her own decisions even if i don't understand them.
I've asked her if she thinks that the whole trouble with this relationship is worth it all and she still insists it is. I accept that. But i don't know how to feel about it.
Thinking about that guy makes me so unbelievably angry. Not only the fact that he DARES to categorize people in "worth" (his friends, all the computer nerds) and "worthless" (me). Yes. I am worthless. I am someone who will only drag my best friend down. I am noone, I got nothing, I haven't even got a (real) job. I AM WORTHLESS. She should not be friends with someone like me. That's his views.
No also the fact that HE IS FUCKING HER UP.
She's got some sickness that gets worse with stress. AND HE'S STRESSING HER SO MUCH IT'S UNBELIEVABLE!
I can't even count how many times I've quietly ranted in my head lately. Thinking about all the things i want to tell him right to his stupid fucking dickface.
And god knows if the situation comes to him dumping her because she's meeting with me, someone better be there to hold me back from smashing his shitass chinese face into the next wall.
FIRST - for people waiting for Art, and everyone that's interrested in Art only.
In case anyone wondered if i got swallowed by some big hole in the ground: no. :P
My parents are on vacation and I'm watching the house. That means I am not on my computer, only have my notebook.
Which means no art except for scribbles in sketchbooks etc. My Aunt being here too makes drawing a little complicated though.
Imagine: "oh what are you drawing? show me"
*drawing dick* "ASDGHASDFA NO!!! DON'T LOOK!"
So my parents are scheduled to return somewhere around mid of next week. Everyone waiting for art will get an update by the weekend then.
Sorry for the wait. Life's troublesome sometimes.
on another note, I thought about making a Patreon for some weekly art updates and stuff. Yes? No? Maybe?... decisions decisions.
SECOND - for everyone on SKYPE
I'm going to clean out my Skype.
If you don't talk to me and we do not have business with each other you will probably get removed.
You can re-add me though, still if you don't talk to me in like half a year, you'll probably get removed again. :P
THIRD - this is a non-art situation i need a bit advice with. If you're not interested in private problems you can stop reading now.
Ookay. So.
This is a bit complicated.
The situation involves 3 people. To make it a bit easier to explain we'll give them nice names.
So the first person we got is this girl that's my best friend. We'll call her 'THE SWAN'.
Then there's her boyfriend whom we'll simply call 'THE DICK'.
And then there's me.
THE SWAN and me have been best friends for nearly 7 years now. We've had a bit of trouble along the way and lost contact for about a year. The year in which THE DICK appeared. So after we got back in contact everything was back to the day we met for the first time (where we spent about... i dunno 36 hours together or more XD) We clicked from the beginning, from the first minute we met, and it was still the same.
She told me about THE DICK and was all yay and stuff. Except for when she told me about this one thing, that made me .. let's say 'dislike' him a bit. At 24 years he was not man enough to tell his mom (who disliked THE SWAN) that he was going to see her or stay over at her place. It was always 'a friend' (in my language referring to a simple male friend). Quite disrespectful if you ask me.
So clearly we didn't start off too well, but whatever. She's happy, who am I to interfere,.... which didn't really keep me from making some not really rude, but maybe mean jokes. To which he didn't say anything actually.
Though i noticed some change in THE SWAN. Meeting with her would get really really hard because she never had time and was alllllways busy. Even though we agreed on weekly meetings.
Until she told me THE DICK didn't want her meeting me. He referred to me as someone the same level as a drug dealer. A. DRUG. DEALER.
I still don't know if i should laugh or just smack him from here to the friggin asian island where he came from.
Good natured as i am i decided to make this our running gag. Always getting a smile from THE SWAN when offering her some 'drugs' (yaoi manga ^^, some fun gay drawings etc)
Until a few weeks ago this was all good. Meeting and stuff. THE DICK would always call at one point and kinda ... rant at her. And it really really hurts me to see that she is hurting emotionally. It makes her SAD that THE FUCKING DICK always trashtalks me. And i can't do anything against it because he won't stop.
The climax of the whole thing was when THE SWAN tried to tell me we couldn't meet anymore because she didn't want THE DICK to get his frilly pink panties in a knot.
Really? 7 years of friendship? And i mean the kind of friendship where she called me IN MY SKIING HOLIDAYS at 2 AM in the morning to 'just talk because she broke up with her boyfriend' and we'd talk more than two hours, with me in the cold kitchen to not disturb anyone, and me knowing that my night ends at fucking 7 AM. I was a snowboarding ZOMBIE that following day. But i'd do it all again.
After i verbally smacked her over the head we're at the 'secret affair' status now. She doesn't want to give up her realationship and she doesn't want to give up our friendship.
We're meeting without THE DICK knowing.
If he finds out, he'll dump her.
And that's where i need your advice.
How do you cope with something like that.
Seeing a person you love being hurt by someone THEY love and not being able to do anything about it.
I can't and won't tell her to break up. She wants the relationship and I am not going to do the same thing as THE DICK and be bossy and a tyrant about that. She's old enough to make her own decisions even if i don't understand them.
I've asked her if she thinks that the whole trouble with this relationship is worth it all and she still insists it is. I accept that. But i don't know how to feel about it.
Thinking about that guy makes me so unbelievably angry. Not only the fact that he DARES to categorize people in "worth" (his friends, all the computer nerds) and "worthless" (me). Yes. I am worthless. I am someone who will only drag my best friend down. I am noone, I got nothing, I haven't even got a (real) job. I AM WORTHLESS. She should not be friends with someone like me. That's his views.
No also the fact that HE IS FUCKING HER UP.
She's got some sickness that gets worse with stress. AND HE'S STRESSING HER SO MUCH IT'S UNBELIEVABLE!
I can't even count how many times I've quietly ranted in my head lately. Thinking about all the things i want to tell him right to his stupid fucking dickface.
And god knows if the situation comes to him dumping her because she's meeting with me, someone better be there to hold me back from smashing his shitass chinese face into the next wall.
PRIORITY
Sketchbook
balorkin-30%
On the list:
rangerwolf
dragnaros
khinave
yang738
thefluffyfur
dracostar
daspunk
Trades:
- still sketching.. argh!
Sketchbook
balorkin-30%On the list:
rangerwolf
dragnaros
khinave
yang738
thefluffyfur
dracostar
daspunk Trades:
- still sketching.. argh!
Nyah.. diverse mädels vielleicht, aber sie gehört nicht dazu und das wusste er auch da sies sogar angesprochen hat das sie das doof findet. War ihm egal. Das stört mich halt so extrem.
Ich hab auch definitiv nicht vor sie vor die Wahl zu stellen. Das ist das dümmste und unfairste was man tun kann. Wir sprechen schon auch manchmal darüber, und sie versteht auch meine argumente warum ich meine das sie sich das genau überlegen sollte mit ihm... aber im endeffekt läuft es darauf hinaus das sie um die beziehung kämpfen würde bzw wenn er sie fallen ließe dann wahrscheinlich auch noch rumbetteln würde das er sie zurücknimmt o_o UND ICH VERSTEHS NICHT. SO GUT KANN DER DOCH GAR NICHT IM BETT SEIN !?!?!?! XD ... und andere qualitäten seh ich an dem nicht. Nicht mal kochen scheint der zu können.
Ich bevorzuge wahrscheinlich eher 1.
2 kommt nicht in Frage, und bei 3 und 4 brächte das nichts denn er würde sich wahrscheinlich nicht mal trauen irgendwas zu sagen, würde ganz lieb und nett tun, nur um hintenrum wieder scheisse zu reden.
Er hat einfach keinen Bezug zur Realität was zwischenmenschliche kommunikation angeht. Als sie im Krankenhaus war hab ich sie besucht und nachdem er und zwei seiner freunde ankamen bin ich halt gegangen. Wortlos ohne die drei zu beachten. .... Erzählt sie mir das er sich aufgeregt hat das ich ihm nicht die hand geben wollte. Da greif ich mir doch ans hirn bei soviel unfähigkeit. Seh ich aus wie so ne tusse? Vornerum bussi bussi und hintenrum scheisse reden? Wenn er meint das ers nötig hat mich als 'schlechten einfluss' und 'drogendealer' zu bezeichnen dann meine ich das ich es nicht nötig habe ihn auch in irgendeiner weise zu beachten.
denn selbst wenn ich ihm die Hand gegeben hätte, hätte es nichts geändert. Dadurch wär ich auch nicht besser geworden in seinen augen, sprich auch gespräche a la "du sorry hab ich nicht so gemeint" bringen sehr wahrscheinlich absolut nüsse.
Quite frankly hun, the dick is exactly that. A dick. He is openly using the influence he has over her to further his own aspirations and says go fuck yourself to you, pretty much saying "hurhurhur look at me being the one fucking your best friend! Bet that makes you angry huh!?"
Personally I would not let neither her, nor him, bother you. By all accounts, he's insulting you greatly and despite her knowing you ALOT longer, she's quietly accepting his profoundly unacceptable, judgemental treatment of you. How? Because she's valuing her relationship with him, over her relationship with you, despite you being accepting to him if he behaved properly, and him refusing to accept you no matter what. He doesn't deserve her and he knows it, so he keeps her away from you to convince her you're the bad guy.
She allows him to do this, and that alone is just not okay. I'd not even deal with it if I were you. I'd never deal with being in a triangle where neither of the two others will even consider my emotions in the situation. It hurts to say goodbye to old friends, but sometimes they just don't behave as friends should.
Of coyrse, if he breaks up with her again, you can speak to her again, help her get over him etc. But right now? She more worried about him than you, and that's just not fair to you.
thanks for your advice. The thing is he's not really trying to convince her i'm the bad guy, because he knows that won't work. He's simply just trashtalking, and saying I'm a bad friend because I did not act liker her mom. He thinks he is way better than me because he pressured her into doing things with threats. "if you don't finish this work, we won't meet for two weeks!" etc. And that's bullshit. that's not being a friend that's being a tyrant. I told her stuff the 'friend' way. "come on, do that it's not that bad. If you finish that paper you're one step closer to being done with university. It's not long, you can do it!" ... aparently that's not the way to do it in his eyes. Which is rediculous. His definition of 'friends' is completely different from hers and mine and probably 90% of the earth.
I guess because he can't convince her that i am a bad influence or a bad friend is that he's trying to pressure her again into doing what he wants her to do. because right now it's "if you two meet, I'll break up with you".
And don't get me wrong, i don't think she values him more than me. Of course a relationship will always be a tiny bit more valuable to you when you're in love. Because she is taking the risk meeting me every week, he just doesn't know about it. And well she IS having a good time with me.
The problem is just that she can't and doesn't want to decide betweent the two sides, and i really understand that. But she should just stand up for what she wants and tell him to go fuck himself if he can't deal with her having me as a friend because that's not going to change. So let it be his decision to be a dick or be an understanding normal human being that loves his girlfriend no matter what decisions she makes as long as they're not life threatening or dumb. But aparently she can't do that. =/
breaking off contact would be an option, but a real unfair one to be honest. Because she already told me she doesn't want to give up on me as a friend and she is taking risks. and well ... giving up your best friend isn't the easiest thing to do is it? ^^ .. I don't think i could unless she really fucks up hard, which she hasn't.
I'm not really angry with her because she IS defending me, I'm just angry with him for being such a douche to her. Not even to me. I don't really care what people say about me, especially if they don't even know me. I just hate people that are all 'i'm better than everyone because... and you're shit because....'.
And well .. I've been in a relationship with a douche too.. so i know that it's extremely hard to stand up for yourself when you're in love with that asshole. .. so meh.. ending the friendship would just be beneficial for him and probably a horror for her.
So i'm more worried about her than about him shittalking me. ^^" Like i mentioned she has a sickness that gets worse the more stress she has and lately she's been feeling like shit already.
Personally I don't think I could handle someone back talking me behind my back to a good friend of mine. :( it would really upset me.
At the same time though. You're right, I probably couldn't simply part ways with a friend even if they seemed to passively, quietly accept the fact that someone they were on a relationship with were talking smack about me. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt until, like you said, they REALLY fuck up :/
Frankly? I'd keep seeing her as a friend without him knowing, and if he finds out? He can go fuck himself, cause quite frankly, someone who breaks up with his girlfriend that easily? Never truly loved her anyway. And last time i checked, being 'together' meant that you loved eachother. Sounds like she's being treated like some sort of trophy at this point :/
What are the bets?
well yours is already 99% done.