The news going around is that Jim Hardiman, creator of Skunkworks, has passed away. Unfortunately, it seems to be more than just a rumor. It isn't the biggest shock in the world, as it's well-known that he'd been plagued with health problems going back several years, but it's very sad news indeed.

Simply put, Jim was my gateway into the furry fandom. Even though I'd always loved anthropomorphic characters, I was completely unaware of the fandom until I stumbled across the Genus comic book anthology series in the mid-'90s (this was back when you could still find furry comics on the shelves of actual brick-and-mortar comic book shops). Jim's segments were my favorite, not just because of the artwork (which was amazing), but also because of the characters' personalities and the sense of humor that he injected into almost everything he wrote and drew.

At some point I e-mailed him about a technical issue I was having with his site (this will be a little embarrassing, but it will illustrate what a stand-up guy Jim was). This was in 1999, and at the time, my internet access was via WebTV lol. Yup, that was my introduction to the World Wide Web. It was good enough if you didn't know anything else, but there were drawbacks. One of which, if I'm remembering correctly, was that it didn't support Java, and I think that's where I ran into trouble on Jim's website. I e-mailed him, and not only did he respond quickly, but he saw to it that the parts of the page that used Java were re-written so that WebTV-using losers like me could access it. This began a series of occasional correspondences between us, and I was always appreciative that a popular furry artist-- probably the most popular one that I was aware of at the time-- took the time to write lengthy e-mails to a complete unknown. When it came to his renown in the fandom, he seemed to have absolutely no ego about it whatsoever. He was just a guy, and you could talk to him as just a guy.

Around the same time, I attended a comic book show here in Boston, and I picked up a few furry comics from one of the vendors. He asked me if I was a furry, and I paused, because I honestly didn't know how to answer the question. I liked the artwork, but at that point I'd never really thought of myself by that term before. I responded with some variety of "Kind of," and then he told me that I should check out Anthrocon in July. It may have been the first time I'd ever heard of it, or any furry convention, for that matter. I was still very much on the periphery of the fandom, and didn't personally know a single other furry, but I began to consider going. I mentioned it in my next e-mail to Jim, and asked him if he'd be there. The following is an excerpt from his response.


Yup, we'll be at Anthrocon, selling pretty much everything that's on the website... So if you get a chance, swing on by and introduce yourself... If my table looks really busy, try to stop by when it slows down. That's the only thing that really sucks about these conventions. I'd like to be able to really talk to all the folks that stop by, but it's frustrating when you've got, like, six people talking to you at once. And then, sometimes, folks will get their stuff and walk away, thinking I've better things to do than talk to them, which certainly isn't the case.


So emboldened by this encouragement, I made up my mind that come July, I would drive from Boston to Valley Forge to attend a convention I could hardly afford, for a fandom I was barely sure I was a part of yet.

Anthrocon was a lot smaller then-- under 900 attendees-- but it was still pretty overwhelming to me at the time. I pretty much kept to myself, viewing the proceedings with a mixture of curiosity and confusion. The overall feeling I took away from the weekend was, "I'm not sure whether this is for me or not." Perhaps the one conversation that I had the entire weekend was when I stopped by Jim's table. It was during a slow period, so I got to chat with him for a while, but at some point I got self-conscious, or worried (probably needlessly) that I was taking up too much of his time, and took my leave.

I never got to meet him in person again, but we continued to exchange e-mails every so often for a few years. I confessed to him that I'd felt kind of out-of-place at Anthrocon, and he helped me realize that the furry fandom is like a smorgasbord: not everything on the table is going to be to your liking, and you can pick and choose what you like and say "No, thank you" to what you don't. To this day, that philosophy is what guides me in this wonderful, fucked-up fandom. Once upon a time, I was worried that I'd never be accepted in this community, because I wasn't interested in fursuiting or role-playing or sharing every facet of my sexual identity with the world. But once I started to let go of the idea that I had to be like other furries I'd seen, I was able to start being myself. And that's when good things started to happen for me in the fandom.

So thank you for that, Jim. Even though it's been years since the last time we corresponded, I'll miss you very much. May your version of the afterlife be an eternity accompanied by a harem of Slappy Squirrels. :)