I don't know what it is, I don't know if I just crave attention, or if it is just who I am. Recently I have fallen back into my depression, I don't know what to do.. I don't know if I should leave it be like I have always done, or fight it. I have said many times, forgive me for my stupidity, I'm not used to this. It is true, I am not used to having actual friends. I am not used to going places to see people. I am not used to going somewhere seeing people there waiting on me. I have seriously been lonely most of my life. Always been broken by those who have "loved" me and those who I have loved. I type this on my phone onto FA not really expecting anyone to read it or care. Though it does feel good to put it out there after years of keeping it in. I do not expect people to pity me, to think differently of me, just to understand, I have been alone, without friends to be with in person basically all my life.
So please just understand it takes time to adjust. For those of you that read this and get it, thank you.