Good luck! chu can do it!

That the thing I dont wanna even try, I know will fuck up.

that's how we all feel before doing something, and then once chu start, it goes by better then chu originally thought, so regardless, chu can do it

No I fucked up before and its going to happen again.

chu don't know that yet, just go along with it and do chur best

I did my best last time, then my more best I help as many people as I could and then a lot of people turned on me.

try to focus on churself this time then maybe? o.o

Thats not the kinda person I am

that may be true, however, don't risk chur own growth on others who will turn on chu

I am not that kinda person its like walking away from someone bleeding out asking for help

In the military you know it's just you and your skills that your suppose to use and help, not someone else unless that is required.

I am not that kinda person its like walking away from someone bleeding out asking for help

but they aren't going to be bleeding out, chu just gotta imagine there is only chu and chur goal

The only reason I am so stress out is bc I dont want to be blamed for something again

what were chu blamed for last time?

I know it's hard but the shame is not in the blame. If you are doing the right thing then the fault lies with those misplacing blame on you to try and move themselves up.

I was given night vision goggles, b/c I was in 1st squad so we had to show people how to use them. I handed mine off to someone and it fell off my helmet I was going to go fix it and I could, but they handed it to a drill Sergeant I tried to get it back but I could talk back to the ds so it went out of my view. Hours later they are looking for me I go to my platoons ds and they ask me where my NVGs are all I could say was I didnt have them. The DSs gave the squad leaders and the pt a 5000 word essay about responsibility and I had to take the blame. After that every said it was all my fault and I never knew what I did wrong but I had to sit there and take it.

oh dear...quite harsh.. but everyone makes mistakes ><

After that it was bad thing after bad thing

whats past is past, chu must look towards the future now, it wont be like last time

I was broken before I went into the military I thought it would help me get on track I though it would give me a purpose

Unfortunately that's how it Odin the military remember it's about excelling and increasing rank private, you have to be cold unfortunely and stronger than your peers and unless the Sargent ordered you to help then you can cause if it were real life combat you have to take care of your self first

And that is why the human race is dieing and even more why we are in war with other, looking out for your will cause others to do the same just as the US split in 2 b/c they werent looking out for others they were only caring for themselves. Do you really wanna be a person that fuels that fire again?

I'm not like that you know my job is helping around 10,000 people, but when you joined the military you have to follow orders and even be better than other unfortunely. We both love to help people but in the military your survival is first.

Well my mission is survival of others first my life doesnt matter right now

Good luck, been there, done that, and happy it's behind me. I hope all goes well for you.

You were in the military?

Yes, I was in for 6 years. Repeatedly scolded for leading by trust rather then micromanaging. I also just can't leave someone behind even when stabbed in the back. So I went private sector it still holds me back some but at least I can look myself in the mirror and the private sector doesn't care as much about how you get the results so I can keep an earning with less stress.

Can I note you?

Go ahead, I actually prefer it for personal conversations since journal is permanent and public.

good luck <3
im sure it will be over before you know it

I hope

Good Luck bro I know you can do it

I am too stressed out to believe that

in the last year i've had three friends goo through bootcamp the next 7 weeks will be the toughest of ur life but in the end it will be worth it :)

Its not boot camp already did that

if you can survive that there is no reason you can't handle this :D

I wont survive if I fuck it up

just keep confident and your head high and your gonna do well :)

I cant think that way right now

ok well try for all of us on here, i'm off to work so IF you can get on during these coming weeks drop me a note otherwise i am confident in you and am sure you do well and i will talk to you when u get back

I can't answer notes on my phone.

oh okies well do you has skype on ur phone? or we can just chat on here

Skype is acting retarded on my phone, we can chat here if you wish

ok that'd be kool :D

Thanks but I got nothing

giggles~ so are you missing you little dresses yet?

>//////////< I didn't wear dresses.......

giggles~ ok well at least the diapers then?

>//////////< Shhhhhh!

lol okies :P

./////////. Fankies, I can't help it they help feel comfortable.

i know stud, i've had my fair share of experiences in them, i just don't mess or wet them

>///////////< Wat else den?

just wear them to enjoy them

Oh but wetting and messing is de best part!

we all have our tastes

You'll do great, it was hell out there in Iraq for me so I think the military will go easy on recruits.

But I am stressing the fuck out still

Good luck! Takes a lot of guts to go through with this kind of thing. You've got my respect and prayers! :)

I hate it

It kinda sucks already, but I made friends.

Well I was put with a group waiting for things, so I didn't make friends at first and I was a little scared to talk about myself BC of human nature, and I didn't wanna be judged. But I am waiting to start a 6 week course.

I hope it works out for you and if you ever want to talk hit me up if you want

Yeah maybe when I am out and have more personal time I will

cool ^,=,^