I myself go through lots of "what if"s. Here are some of mine:

If I...

Didn't choose to bend to the pressure to become an econ major:
I would have become an illustrator.

Didn't become a Christian:
Probably dead, I am really only alive because I am a Christian. Also, may be in the deep from other issues. But nothing drug/alcohol/crime/smoking related. I didn't like them even back then.

Actually was able to join the military:
Hmm, who knows, I might have been in the casualties section? If I didn't die, probably I will kill myself at one point.

Didn't attend graduate school:
Probably be doing something game related or be in the ROK military and I get abused tons there (this is guaranteed). Emotionally and physically because I was an outlier and still is an outlier to the Korean society. I am too liberal or too 'special'. So, if I wasn't Christian, then probably, I will pull the grenade pin and take some with me. Who knows?

This is nothing but a brief list of "what if"s. Now, how do I deal with those? I always tell myself that these "what if"s could have happened but also that it could not have happened. I cannot remember but there was a sermon on this at my church. Basically, everything do happen for a reason and there's a reason why we are on the path that we are on now. These "what if"s are just the enemy of God trying to keep us from progressing. Sometimes, it just plain sucks and makes me cry, because I am nowhere close to where I want myself to be. I detest my choice to bend over to become an econ major. As I was eating dinner, I was regretting being in this econ grad school because I find my math skills inadequate and what not. But then, every time, this comes up in my mind, because of that one sermon: "You can't be sure that your "what if"s would have happened for real." Yeah, I can't be sure that my "what if" scenarios would have happened if I really did choose the ways I feel that I should have chosen. Chances are, I would be sitting and creating another batch (more like bazillion) of "what if" scenarios sooner or later. There's a reason why we are on the road that we are on. I do believe that. Now, I am not saying that this is gonna be easy, because let's face it, I am just tanking grad school at the moment because of my severe lack of interest in econ. I probably should be giving my best shot. It's gonna be hard and I know it. Chances are, we are all gonna have to wrestle with that during our time here. Anywho, in addition to trying to tell myself that I can't for certain that "what if" scenarios could have been realized if I really chose those paths, I try to focus on the positives of the current paths as well. I am pretty sure you are already doing this though. There's no clear solution to this I find. Because, these coping methods I use sometimes get overrun and I get super depressed on top of my current depression. There's nothing tangible we can do but to pray for each other. Praying for that strength to endure and not falter as frequent. I will be with you.

"You can't be sure that your "what if"s would have happened for real." Yeah, I can't be sure that my "what if" scenarios would have happened if I really did choose the ways I feel that I should have chosen.
It really feels that we would end up doing some of them, but the important fact is that we didn't and we have only the option to wreck ourselves by looking back or driving forward to the future.

And you're the right, the most we can do is be with each other and hope in God. That's all we can do.

You can count on me being with you. No matter what happens, you will still have a place in my heart. I won't disown you, ever. This is a promise from me to you. So, let's keep the fight on. This is a team effort.

Agreed.

The same applies towards you from me.

My thought is - you shouldn't want to change your past cause it would mean you couldn't be where you are and I always see lots of positives about where I am now. Like if I didn't drop from college I wouldn't get a job at boardgames and I wouldn't randomly decide out of boredom to actually go on FA to talk and draw, and I wouldn't meet all those people or my boyfriend. Soo :P

I definitely agree with you there. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to wonder what it would be like if things were different. Could be good, could be worse.

Either way, I don't regret the decisions I've made.