Will this be the last one? (Thought gathering)
11 years ago
There has been the tiniest spark of hope lit in the darkness that is the void which is my current existence. There is the remotest possibility of a job opening up at a car dealership to work in liaising between customers and mechanics for services and repairs. Basically, a desk job. however it would be a Mon-Fri job, with normal hours, proper breaks, and weekends. This tiny fragment of light is all that is keeping me afloat right now.
I realise to most, this sort of thing will make you roll your eyes, and dismiss it for being petty and/or weak. But what most people don't realise is the real effect that the owner of this business has on people, both staff AND customers. When I started, I overheard that he had an AVERAGE staff turnover of 18 months. Since working there, the longest term of employment (aside from me and my manager) was 2 years. A month ago, they employed a person, who worked 1 day, then suffered a nervous breakdown... 2 months ago, the person who had worked for 2 years left, 2 months before that, a person who had worked for 9 months left. I'm hoping this new guy will have a tough enough skin just to last until after Christmas, otherwise we may end up being overworked more, and under even more pressure.
We even have customers refusing to come in simply because they don't want to be around him. I even have people I know message me when they want something from the shop to see "if it's safe to come in."
The owner is a bully, condescending, arrogant, and all round asshole. I'm generally one not to say bad things about others, as those who know me well enough can testify, but this guy is that bad, and worse. When people i know find out there is a job opening and suggest applying for it, I BEG them not to go anywhere near it. At least in that way, I can do SOME good from my position.
To give you a look into my life, before I started working there, I was full of life and energy. Nothing seemed beyond my grasp if I worked hard enough. But over the 5 years working there (and yes, I have been looking for alternate work during that whole time) that man has sucked the very essence from my soul. My life feels like it has no meaning, I feel like I can't do anything right, and I toss and turn at night dreading going to work the next day, just waiting for the next outburst and lecture from that asshole. There is only so much a person can take, and I have taken more than most, due to my stubbornness no doubt.
But now, even I am at a breaking point.
If this job opening doesn't come up or I don't get it... Well 15-20 years in prison for manslaughter may be worth it, AND it will be ridding the world of an evil. Mind you, a person could probably get away with 5-10 for extenuating circumstances. Disturbing, I know. and only a whimsical thought.
What can a person at the end of a rope do to find salvation, even after the world has thrown them for a loop. At what point does a person snap when they have gone through as much as I have in my lifetime. I don't know what is left for me to do.
I had hoped to pay off the last of my debts, at which point I could get away with a part time job, but I wont last another 5 years in that place (And I refuse to take other people's hard earned money as a donation). I HAVE to get out, or I will be off to one institution or another.
All up, I give myself 6 months. Whatever happens, after 6 months, I wont be there.
I realise to most, this sort of thing will make you roll your eyes, and dismiss it for being petty and/or weak. But what most people don't realise is the real effect that the owner of this business has on people, both staff AND customers. When I started, I overheard that he had an AVERAGE staff turnover of 18 months. Since working there, the longest term of employment (aside from me and my manager) was 2 years. A month ago, they employed a person, who worked 1 day, then suffered a nervous breakdown... 2 months ago, the person who had worked for 2 years left, 2 months before that, a person who had worked for 9 months left. I'm hoping this new guy will have a tough enough skin just to last until after Christmas, otherwise we may end up being overworked more, and under even more pressure.
We even have customers refusing to come in simply because they don't want to be around him. I even have people I know message me when they want something from the shop to see "if it's safe to come in."
The owner is a bully, condescending, arrogant, and all round asshole. I'm generally one not to say bad things about others, as those who know me well enough can testify, but this guy is that bad, and worse. When people i know find out there is a job opening and suggest applying for it, I BEG them not to go anywhere near it. At least in that way, I can do SOME good from my position.
To give you a look into my life, before I started working there, I was full of life and energy. Nothing seemed beyond my grasp if I worked hard enough. But over the 5 years working there (and yes, I have been looking for alternate work during that whole time) that man has sucked the very essence from my soul. My life feels like it has no meaning, I feel like I can't do anything right, and I toss and turn at night dreading going to work the next day, just waiting for the next outburst and lecture from that asshole. There is only so much a person can take, and I have taken more than most, due to my stubbornness no doubt.
But now, even I am at a breaking point.
If this job opening doesn't come up or I don't get it... Well 15-20 years in prison for manslaughter may be worth it, AND it will be ridding the world of an evil. Mind you, a person could probably get away with 5-10 for extenuating circumstances. Disturbing, I know. and only a whimsical thought.
What can a person at the end of a rope do to find salvation, even after the world has thrown them for a loop. At what point does a person snap when they have gone through as much as I have in my lifetime. I don't know what is left for me to do.
I had hoped to pay off the last of my debts, at which point I could get away with a part time job, but I wont last another 5 years in that place (And I refuse to take other people's hard earned money as a donation). I HAVE to get out, or I will be off to one institution or another.
All up, I give myself 6 months. Whatever happens, after 6 months, I wont be there.