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I'd laugh, if it wasn't so pathetic
16 years ago
Way to get a header!
Well, I had a mental break down last night. Always something makes me miss my sunday shift at work, and I always just add to my Asst. Manger's problems. He is one of few people at the job I try not to screw.
I don't know why it happened either, I was watching a movie, and after it was over, I just started to go blank. I wasn't thinking, or paying much attention to anything around me. I pissed off my mate, and we had a fight, and I don't know why. I sat there, both of us not talking. All that was in my head, was limited to what was before me. I was hoping it would pass, but it didn't. So I called work to tell them I couldn't come in. Which took all I could, cause I couldn't hardly do more then stare off. All usually, it was a problem, cause no one could cover for me, without it being a problem for scheduals. Jeff had been having a hell of a weekend himself, people at work pulling shit, and this and that, so he wasn't too happy, but being about the only one their who dosen't bullshit about getting out of work, he knew I wasn't just slacking. The two guys who can cover me, one is hard to reach at times, plus he has another job and has been having health problems, the other is a lazy do nothing who finally pushed Jeff to write him up for something. I don't know who covered me, but I couldn't come in, cause by the time I got off the phone, I was crying.
I have no idea still why I had this break down. I wasn't thinking of any of the things that would gave me reason, and this past year had plenty to do it. All I can think, is that my mind just had enough and shut down. No warning, no provocation to why.
I just hope I don't have this again, cause it was such a weird feeling, and I "attacked" my mate, I ruined her and her dad's night, I let down Jeff. I don't look forward to tonight's shift, I don't know who will be in for the 3rd shift, and I don't know who is doing 1st, and add to them, the regulars, and every one, I'll have to come up with something to say why I wasn't in that won't let them dig too far into my personal matters.
"Oh hi, I had a mental breakdown" guess I could say I was sick, or something. I just hate lying when at all possible.
almost 23, and I feel so old.
I don't know why it happened either, I was watching a movie, and after it was over, I just started to go blank. I wasn't thinking, or paying much attention to anything around me. I pissed off my mate, and we had a fight, and I don't know why. I sat there, both of us not talking. All that was in my head, was limited to what was before me. I was hoping it would pass, but it didn't. So I called work to tell them I couldn't come in. Which took all I could, cause I couldn't hardly do more then stare off. All usually, it was a problem, cause no one could cover for me, without it being a problem for scheduals. Jeff had been having a hell of a weekend himself, people at work pulling shit, and this and that, so he wasn't too happy, but being about the only one their who dosen't bullshit about getting out of work, he knew I wasn't just slacking. The two guys who can cover me, one is hard to reach at times, plus he has another job and has been having health problems, the other is a lazy do nothing who finally pushed Jeff to write him up for something. I don't know who covered me, but I couldn't come in, cause by the time I got off the phone, I was crying.
I have no idea still why I had this break down. I wasn't thinking of any of the things that would gave me reason, and this past year had plenty to do it. All I can think, is that my mind just had enough and shut down. No warning, no provocation to why.
I just hope I don't have this again, cause it was such a weird feeling, and I "attacked" my mate, I ruined her and her dad's night, I let down Jeff. I don't look forward to tonight's shift, I don't know who will be in for the 3rd shift, and I don't know who is doing 1st, and add to them, the regulars, and every one, I'll have to come up with something to say why I wasn't in that won't let them dig too far into my personal matters.
"Oh hi, I had a mental breakdown" guess I could say I was sick, or something. I just hate lying when at all possible.
almost 23, and I feel so old.
