You know, I couldn't keep this in my mind, letting it pollute it with darkness. So I wrote an entire song about it. Here it is

If someone knows me, they know I'm cold
even if I walk with them, I'm still all alone
Its not just a mental game no more
just like before they just wanted more
from the same fucking whore who's
The same fucking reason why I'm poor and that she
keeps Hitting and bashing me around
Then I'm gone till I'm found by the same hope
that's kept me bound to the world that's ever so sound
but I ain't saying nothing profound, no
I'm gonna spit this shit out, its not a game show
what do you think of me now bitch
Im gonna explain this shit out
And here's what I'm saying
(Chorus)
Its been too long, the time has been
forever lost, I have been
Its the price I've paid
for being made
in the first place..

And now I'm gone, like a kid
Im not that strong, too little too thin
Its the price I've paid
for trying to love
in the first place..

I've just about had enough of this shit
Mixed with the hits and little bits left out when I was kid
And now I'm grown up left fucked up and twisted
I guessed I just missed it, a chance to not be shit
but its too late, now I'm hidden in the shadows made of hate
They call it fucking fate, how cruel to make themselves famous from fake and false claims
Everyday, I wake up and walk out, only to be shouted at to go out
not even aloud to talk our pout, hell, Im not me, just and image that they want me to be. I just want to be free.. and now

(Chorus)
Its been too long, the time has been
forever lost, I have been
Its the price I've paid
for being made
in the first place..

And now I'm gone, like a kid
Im not that strong, too little too thin
Its the price I've paid
for trying to love
in the first place..

I wish I could laugh, but I'm just to be laughed at
I'm left in this mad hat for the people with no backs
its a fat chance
That Ima be able to become my own man
but I'm stuck in this horrible place, like god damn
I want a way out and I dont know how
can someone reach out and help
But now? Now I'm done
I'm done with the bullshit done being made fun of
done being the one hurt in your little fits
and overall? I'm done with you, bitch.
You can echo my words now, here's what I say
(Chorus x2)