... and in my case critical.

To make it short... I do draw to make other people happy. That's what I work for, to see them smile or at least read, that they're happy with what I did for them.
That's why it's hard for me to refuse commissions... but ... *sighs* ... it was one of the rare occasions, when someone came to me, and asked me for something I was totally happy to draw for them. But... when I finally realised what they really wanted from me, ... I had to admit, that I in fact am not that good... and probably will never be.

And those last three words "will never be", made my hidden artblock-monster sneakattack me and hit me critically.
This all happened yesterday and I really doubt that I'll recover that easily from this attack.

I know that the commissioner didn't do it on purpose. In fact, they really were thinking I could do artwork that really looks nearly realistic. ... But I'm an realist... I am not that good, and I do not have time to work my ass out to be that good one day. ... And yes... I doubt, that I'll ever be that good in my life.
But I try to come over this, somehow... not by drawing I guess... I'll at least try to finish the last paid commission... but please be patient with me. ...

*gathers all those dots and makes a salad out of them*