Hello my animal friends! :D I haven't done a journal in so long it's unnervingly tactile!

In case you were wondering, tactile is a word which here means "a rather adhesive square, usually from fiberglass, used in conjunction with various others of its type to create a floor."

Lemony Snicket anyone?

:D

I haven't read those books in ages!

So how are you furs doing?? You know, it occurred to me the other day that there are so many of you who are the cutest and newest of my animal friends that you probably don't know just how psychotically random I can be. But don't take it from this journal; I mean, what does this journal even have on my 18 other journals? Much psychosis can be found in my past :D

Not to mention the fact that I haven't been random in so long. Holy shitting bricks of Martian Drug Goddesses.

Warning: You have officially fallen down the rabbit hole.

There is a local tattoo parlor here in the land of Femur. It seems that a giant space worm made out of metal dinosaurs repeatedly spits venom into the sinkholes it creates in Femur. It's quite disturbing actually, but not as disturbing as the sheer amount of eyeballs the worm has. Seriously, you would lose the eyeball contest, but you would definitely win the teeth contest. Only because you use Crest toothpaste however. And you're a vegetarian. Always a good plan, being a - what? What was that? YOU'RE NOT A VEGETARIAN?? What the fuck man? You kidding me right now? You playing with my balls man? You jerking my nipple chains man? You shitting the frisbee my best friend's dog ate first but then you ate it again because you thought it was Taco Bell, but too bad for you because it actually resembles Wendy's on a warm, wet, steamy, rainy Friday if there ever were such a thing outside of a chemistry classroom in a high school where the mascot is a toad like alligator llama alien piss specimen, MAN????????? Well alright then. I hope every cow you've ever eaten haunts you in your dreams until the day you die, laughing at you every time you fail a test or trip over your own shoelaces, or every time you have explosive diarrhea, so explosive you blow the toilet seat lid all the way to Pluto... Wait a minute. You should do that. Holy shit. If the toilet seat makes it's way to Pluto and stays there, then Pluto would have just enough mass to be considered..............

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(ARE HERE)...................................




A PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY, THE FUCKING BITCH TASTING HEIFERS HAD A GODDAMN PLAN ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, this is all Femur's fault anyway. Why not just tell the bitch you live on to stop getting tattoos in the first place?

Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee xD xD xD XD XD XD

Ooh boy. That was quite the fox hole wasn't it?

Well, wouldn't you like to know? Mmmmm ;) ;) ;))))) ;D

Aww damn, it was a rabbit hole??? Oh well, both holes are getting the same thing anyway. Maybe. It depends on how friendly the holes are with each other. Sometimes, you might even consider them neighbors :D

Lots of fuckery was harmed in the making of this vocabulicious orgasm of diction.

Scared yet? =D

You guys are awesome you know that? I love my furry family :D

That's it for now! I shall see you in my next journal :D