I could barely sleep last night.


This is not exactly fear, but more anxiety.



I had worked myself into a blind panic about this coming friday. It's my old high school's homecoming football game, and the girl I'm interested in is likely expecting me to be there. After last time, I really don't want to try again.


I'm scared.



I've been trying to build up my confidence for three weeks now. I have gained nothing. If anything, I've scared myself even worse.


If I don't go, she'll likely think I'm not worth the time and effort, and that's the end of that. It would hurt, but it's much less painful than the alternative.


If I go, I have to not only see her again, but actually make an effort to talk with her. I can already feel the fear just thinking about it, a hand closing around my lungs with an iron grip, holding me out over a high ledge.

It's like one of those moments when something terrifying is about to happen and your body starts getting ready to scream by making you breathe deeper and through your mouth, almost hyperventilating...but there's no scream. Nothing comes out but a panicked, choked wheeze. You try to form words, but all that comes out is a stream of consonants.