Been awhile, I've got alot to put out there so better get started. Same as always, skip to writing and question if you don't like rants and journals. If you answer my question you can ask one.

So where to begin? The job search is going pretty well looks like I'll be hired sometime this afternoon or tomorrow. It's not as cushiony as my previous job money wise but the work won't be as hard and the hours will at least be semi predictable. All in all it'll do for now.

I hit up AWA last weekend. Was a good time and I met alot of really cool dudes who likely make up a majority of my watch list now, thanks guys I appreciate the support and I'll watch you back as soon as I finish up here. I did little more than wander around for a collective 8 hours just taking in the sights of vendors artists and cosplayers and definitely the highlight of the con for me was I got to try melon bread for the first time ever. I can assure you, it's the greatest thing on earth. Not much to report there as money was short so fun was limited to socializing and melon bread but I'll definitely attend again.

Special Shoutout to  defiance for talking me into going and meeting her and her crew. Worth every penny, Batz

The has been kinda lazy I'm afraid, I've spent alot of time just meditating on where I stand in life and what the world may have in store. Dwelling on fate isn't a wise choice but I've been so bummed out over the loss of my job that I haven't done much otherwise. It's pretty pathetic I know but I promise it's temporary, the world isn't going to fall apart and I'll get back around to being active. Speaking of which I haven't poured the time even into writing that I thought I would. It's just too easy to distract myself with a game or stupid youtube video to actually be productive. When necessity arises it's a different story but if you have any insight as to how I can turn up my motivation in the writing department, I'd be happy to hear it.

I've played Elsword quite a bit since many of my friends back home have been available to join in. It's not a game I can play by myself and it's only in there company that I can have any fun. As for Dark Souls 2 I've almost got it beat once but of course I'll have to go back through a second time to try and piece the story together.

I've been interested in Roleplay alot lately. Not in the sense that you nasty ass furries assume a roleplay takes place but I want to write a story, with someone else I suppose. It would be interesting I think and really I'd just like someone different to talk to. I feel like my current friendships in my location are in a rut and honestly I just want a different voice or I guess a different color text in the internet's case. I've found a few FA users with problems that I hoped to... I dunno, empathize with. Two of which acknowledged me positively while the other douche bag clearly just wanted to whine and bitch and blocked me when I tried to extend a friendly hand. Can't please everyone I suppose. 's aight though, furries will be furries and I've got nothing for the ones who won't hear me. Talk is all I can do.

Although the shit stain made a decent point going on about how we hear these expressions like "Don't worry about what others think" and we think that gives us free reign to act retarded out of some bullshit rebellious self expression. I'm all for it, but don't bitch when you're chastised. You chose to be different or chose to make it public. Accept both the positive and negative consequences. You don't have to do it silently but God forbid do you walk a mile in someone else's shoes that has to put up with your excessive whining. Sometimes in reality we have to act in a way that is contrary what we want for the sake of survival. If you've never told a half truth or a flat out lie at a job interview, you're doing it wrong. It may not always be true but for those of us who were less than our A or even B student peers or those of us who didn't have perfect attendence, or those of us who had to drop out to find work for a starving family, well we gotta compete too, and we want it alot more than the privileged people who've always had it. It agitates me to see that people have so much potential and they piss so much of it away crying and bitching about how no one likes them or how the world is so full of injustice and how the general population hates queers or whatever. Just shut up and do something asshole, I've fought my whole life for the things I want and guess what, I'm straight, white, and grew up middle class. Shit cards get dealt to everyone. So deal with it. Assuming the world is against you is insanely narcissistic. You're not special and the people who are different like you will agree. I guess what I'm trying to say is by asking for sympathy, or support, you're asking to be different. Different is chastise for being so. Wouldn't you rather your differences be overlook because you're competent and contribute to society? Don't you want people to see who you are not what you are? And finally how is someone else going to like you if you don't like yourself? If you really want acceptance then better yourself. We're all laying in a grave one day so goddamn make use of your air while you got it.

That's enough of that. That guys journal isn't what upset me, what upset me is I tried to help in a way that was far nicer than what I wrote above and he blocked me. A year ago, if someone had snubbed me like that I would have waged war on them. Anything I could have done to ruin his life, I would have done it. Just to spite him. It's momma dog coming out in me. That's how she use to handle things. Revenge just ain't the answer. Let him have his cake, I ain't here to fix the world just to be friends with those who have some sense. Maybe those people can help me as hopefully can I them.

I'm done preaching. Now I've gotta report my next door neighbors. They've been beating on each other for the entirety of this post which took roughly 2 hours to make sure everything was mostly right and made general sense. I'm likely to get involved in their feud myself should something not be done and no one is gonna have a good day if that happens.

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Should our paths entwine
When wisdom and truth are sought
Then call me your friend

What are you most afraid of?