I can't stand it anymore, I am just a burden. Every day I risk the possibility for getting grounded or worse for a long time because of the fact I happen to be a furry and have a mate online that I talk to. I am only 15, I am still in highschool obviously, I have never had a job, but for some reason, I feel like I could just move out on my own. For a while, I have dreamed of the day that I could move out at 18, and maybe move in with my mate. I dream of that day because he won't judge me and criticize me for every little thing about me. I feel like just about any other teenager, I can't wait to be independent, and I feel like that everything about me is wrong: I have a hard time concentrating, motivating to do any work, socializing correctly, and I have literally no talent, at least none that will get me anywhere in life. I love my parents, but I feel like I am under so much pressure, yeah I have it a lot better than a lot of people, but most people I know don't have thoughts of suicide every night, and everyone I know has some talent and self discipline to work and be successful, but not me. I wish to see my mate someday, I really do, and then I wouldn't have to worry about every little thing, like if I want to wear feminine attire, or get an ear or two pierced, or anything. Lately, my Dad has been scolding me out for every little thing, I am always yelled at for everything I do, and I am scum for not obeying him. I feel like I have no purpose for my existence, or any reason to be alive, I mope and whine about all this shit like this even though I have it a lot better than most people. I am an awful person, I really am. I have tried killing myself several times last year, and all that did was take more money out of my Dad's wallet for the hospital trip.
I am just a burden to everyone and everything around me, and I only keep living in order to be there for my mate, and maybe for that day to come that he and I finally meet, and live off on our own, that would probably be the best day in my whole entire life.