A little isnight about those who have just lost someone. -- Poopybuttface's Journal -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

A little isnight about those who have just lost someone.

11 years ago

I'm going to make this short. A good artist died. I'm not going to mention who this artist was out of respect. If you know who I'm talking about then please dont mention his name or furaffinity in this journal.

I found out about this today, and out of curiousity I visited what seemed to be his/her mates page, now I'm going to give some advice.

If you did not know the artist, nor his mate then please dont go on this persons page to say "Sorry for you loss" or comfort them in any other way. I know your intentions may be good but this is a very horrible experience, a lot of people who go through it usually only want to be comforted by close friends or families.

Sorry if this offends anyone... I dont mean to critisize people, I honestly just want to give a little insight. I understand fully that people have the best of intentions to have the community come together to comfort those who need it, but there are some cases that are just too personal.

27 Comments

Freiheit7 ~freiheit7

Watcher

11 years ago

Well said and unfortunately true. They will be missed but I had never met nor heard of this artist before.
May they rest in peace but unfortunately im in no position to go out of my way to comfort someone ive never met.

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

It would bother the person who is in grief. Personally I would not like it if my sister -

sweetsushi

died and random people on FA started saying they are sorry for my loss. It would be very confronting and very inpersonal coming from people that niether my sister or I knew.

Freiheit7 ~freiheit7

Watcher

11 years ago

It seems like mostly good intentions but damn...
I think it needed to be treated like real life.
If my friend came up to me and a group of my friends and said his obscure cousins friends sister on law died id only be able to say sorry, not run to that person and try and hug them.
If you are directly confronted with the loss of someone you don't know, say a quick regard. Thats all I could say.

Gollandarr ~gollandarr

Art Whore

11 years ago

I fully promote this journal, and posted my own, less clean varyant of it earlier *snuggle*

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

I dint know my journal had such an impact I honestly just wanted to help people understand a situation like this more.

Gollandarr ~gollandarr

Art Whore

11 years ago

Because you have a wider range of thoughtful watchers :)

malcolmthebear ~malcolmthebear

Musician

11 years ago

Just to play Devil's advocate, I just recently lost my father, and all the support I got from folks here and elsewhere, regardless of how well they know me or knew my father, was very much appreciated by me. I did not at all mind people I don't know offering me their condolences.

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

Thats good, I'm glad it helped you :) Everyone is different afcourse, but for a majority of people something like this is very personal and they dont like random people giving them condolences.

None the less, I am still very happy that it helped you, maybe I am wrong.

missingno ~missingno

Watcher

11 years ago

he had an art style of his own and he was an amazing artist even though i never spoke to him i can tell he was a hard worker and very nice

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

I seen some comments on his page of peopel saying he was one of the nicest furs they met. Its a shame I would have loved to have gotten to know him.

Mirera ~mirera

Digital Artist

11 years ago

I just....
Thank you.

You know how irked I get when some one dies, either accident, natural, or suicide, and people who never even knew the person go on there (the deceased profile) and "suddenly care" SO MUCH. It's like they feel they need to be a part of that tragedy. That is all I see it as.

I know some people might just be doing it, honestly, to be nice. But most, I have a gross feeling that they just want to be a "part" of it. They see "RIP so and so" click the profile, and hop on that train.

It would and does make me angry if I knew the person personally (especially if it were a suicide victim).

(whew sorry if I am coming off heated about this. This is just a damn sensitive spot for me.)

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

Thats personally how I see it too. I try not to think bad about people but it almost comes over as if they are indeed trying to be part of the tradegy. It could be cultural difference afcourse, in my country its considered rude to give your condolences to people you dont know very well, infact, they teach us in high school that if we ever were to work in a store and a situation like this were to happen we cant give our condolences, instead we have to say "keep your strength up" (roughly translated from dutch to english afcourse)

Panzermanathod ~panzermanathod

11 years ago

This is why I say nothing when someone suffers a loss, death or not. I'm not great at consoling and doing so with people I don't know just bothers me.

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

its best not to. unless they actually come to you to talk about it.

zicnoracel ~zicnoracel

Anthro Artist

11 years ago

I just found out about it about an hour ago and I feel so bad. We hadn't chatted in a while but he'll surely be missed. He was not only one of my favorite artists, but also one of my favorite people I'd met through FA

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

Yeah, his art was great and Ive heard many good things about him.

zicnoracel ~zicnoracel

Anthro Artist

11 years ago

We chatted for a while but had become distant recently due to school and such. He was a great person and a fun guy to chat with. Always very welcoming

Redward ~redward

Traditional Artist

11 years ago

and a lot of people use the term "Passed Away" which is not the correct term in this case.

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

it isnt? then what is?

Redward ~redward

Traditional Artist

11 years ago

cause Passed away is a term for natural cause of death.

not a death caused by someone else and could have been prevented.

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

Oooh! I dint know that : P

DwarfPriest ~dwarfpriest

Dwarf

11 years ago

Yeah.

Cmdr-A ~cmdr-a

Laziest Artist

11 years ago

Unfortunately in this case its kind of a moot point given they posted the journal about it on their page. So its sort of going to cause it anyway because the information was presented to be made known.

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

But just because they post a journal about it to let people know doesnt mean they want a bunch of strangers condolenses O_O Anyway this is just my opinion, this is how I and most other people would feel if this were to happen, but there are plenty of people who do seem to like it when they get condolences even from strangers, so yah, who knows.

Nero64 ~nero64

Art Whore

11 years ago

I never comment or say anything about the person death. Sure I feel sorry for those that were close to this person and I hope they find peace of mind.

i think what you just did is the correct statement. I mean sure it's nice to give your condolences to someone who lost a dear friend or family, but at the same time, it does feel a bit awkward to mention he or shes death and say "Oh sorry to hear what happen to so and so friend or family member or close friend"

I think it's always good to actually be reminded on what's important. So Kudos for doing the right thing. Sure some people might not accept your saying in this journal, but that's because they haven't gotten the chance to actually understand more.

Still I agree with this statement :)

Poopybuttface ~poopybuttface

Digital Artist

11 years ago

Thanks : ) So far most people agreed with me that its best not to do this, its also good for other people to know this for future reference.

Nero64 ~nero64

Art Whore

11 years ago

Agreed, people just have to be reminded is all! ^^

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