I have this feeling. I haven't felt it in a long while. But its my favorite feeling in the world, and I feel it right now. It feels similar to the feeling of taking a walk with a friend on a lazy summer afternoon. But I'm alone, and it's cold outside.
My thoughts aren't happy, my thoughts aren't sad, or angry, my thoughts aren't optimistic or pessimistic, they are somewhere in between, in a world of reason and understanding.
And its the only feeling that truly helps me feel productive.

I know this feeling won't last, It always fades away. I really wish it wouldn't. I want to feel like this forever, and there's no drug that can synthesize this.
But I'm glad to feel it again. It makes me happy to know that I can feel something like this without drugs, without love, without god or religion. That I can just feel this way, free and needless.
I'll try to keep it as long as possible. But it will leave me, and I'll return to a place full of confusion and misery. It leaves faster if try to find a way to make it stay.