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Slice of My Heart..♡
11 years ago
There are times I wish I couldn't feel anything at all.
Then there are times when all I can do is feel.
This is one of those times. . .
One of my goals is to get out of this little town.. but not for obvious reasons. Sure it's tiny and the oil boom rapes us, assholes from other states rush in like runoff from a big rain storm, and suck the town dry, but that's not my reason.
I wasn't supposed to be born, nor my brother. My mother has had a hard life, and had been fighting Graves disease since her early to mid twenties. She had 90% of her thyroid removed, her neck stapled shut and was told she'd never have children.
I owe my mother my life.
I have apon my shoulders such a heavy burden. I have to get through college, I have to pursue geology and travel the world and bring forth from the earth rocks, and minerals. I have to go to Nevada and mine fire-stone opal, so my mom can hold the ocean floor in the palms of her hands. I must go on this journey for her and find myself a long the way..
I love my mother so much, that words don't compare anymore. Matching tattoos, while may be a lovely gesture, don't even come close. It's like I've been touched by an angel. My heart is just overflowing and i don't want it to stop. Words, gestures, acts of love just aren't good enough anymore. I must give her the world, because I owe her my life and because I love her so much.
She is my inspiration.
For art, for life.
We have a deep connection through dragons.. I will continue to draw them for her forever.
It's 3am, and you don't know how badly I want to call her right now. Just to hear her voice, to feel her hugs.. to just be with my mom in peace.
I'm crying, in bed with cats crawling all over as I type. I have no moral for my blubbering... but I hope if my mom ever gets to listen to me read this aloud, that her heart will stir with such emotion, that her eyes brim with tears, and that for that moment she truly sees, and understands, and forgives me for every malignant thought.
I cannot throw away a life I call mine, when in all divine reality it is not my own.
I need her just as much as she needs me and without her I would be lost.
I love you, mom.
"Mama"
What makes you happy
What makes you smile
And when you smile please
Is it for real
I know you're not one
One to pretend
Even when I was a child
You grow up too fast
And have to be brave
Braver than most strong men
That I've ever seen
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
When I hear your voice
It's the loveliest sound
Little girl
You can come out now
The dangers all gone
You can come out
All that you've held
Is too much to hold
So let it all go now
And you will become gold
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
When I hear your voice
It's the loveliest sound
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
Desperately singing
You're beautiful now
Laughter and tears
Gracing your face
The music of your strength
Held up this place
Yet daddy's right here now
You can let go
He's holding it all now
And healing your soul
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
When I hear your voice
It's the loveliest sound
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
Desperately singing
You're beautiful now
There's something
I'm trying to tell you
I've tried to tell you before and
Each time that I profess it
It just leaves me wanting more and
I think you are beautiful
And I'm proud of you
What I'm trying to say is
I love you
I love you. -Flyleaf
Then there are times when all I can do is feel.
This is one of those times. . .
One of my goals is to get out of this little town.. but not for obvious reasons. Sure it's tiny and the oil boom rapes us, assholes from other states rush in like runoff from a big rain storm, and suck the town dry, but that's not my reason.
I wasn't supposed to be born, nor my brother. My mother has had a hard life, and had been fighting Graves disease since her early to mid twenties. She had 90% of her thyroid removed, her neck stapled shut and was told she'd never have children.
I owe my mother my life.
I have apon my shoulders such a heavy burden. I have to get through college, I have to pursue geology and travel the world and bring forth from the earth rocks, and minerals. I have to go to Nevada and mine fire-stone opal, so my mom can hold the ocean floor in the palms of her hands. I must go on this journey for her and find myself a long the way..
I love my mother so much, that words don't compare anymore. Matching tattoos, while may be a lovely gesture, don't even come close. It's like I've been touched by an angel. My heart is just overflowing and i don't want it to stop. Words, gestures, acts of love just aren't good enough anymore. I must give her the world, because I owe her my life and because I love her so much.
She is my inspiration.
For art, for life.
We have a deep connection through dragons.. I will continue to draw them for her forever.
It's 3am, and you don't know how badly I want to call her right now. Just to hear her voice, to feel her hugs.. to just be with my mom in peace.
I'm crying, in bed with cats crawling all over as I type. I have no moral for my blubbering... but I hope if my mom ever gets to listen to me read this aloud, that her heart will stir with such emotion, that her eyes brim with tears, and that for that moment she truly sees, and understands, and forgives me for every malignant thought.
I cannot throw away a life I call mine, when in all divine reality it is not my own.
I need her just as much as she needs me and without her I would be lost.
I love you, mom.
"Mama"
What makes you happy
What makes you smile
And when you smile please
Is it for real
I know you're not one
One to pretend
Even when I was a child
You grow up too fast
And have to be brave
Braver than most strong men
That I've ever seen
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
When I hear your voice
It's the loveliest sound
Little girl
You can come out now
The dangers all gone
You can come out
All that you've held
Is too much to hold
So let it all go now
And you will become gold
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
When I hear your voice
It's the loveliest sound
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
Desperately singing
You're beautiful now
Laughter and tears
Gracing your face
The music of your strength
Held up this place
Yet daddy's right here now
You can let go
He's holding it all now
And healing your soul
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
When I hear your voice
It's the loveliest sound
Sing your song mama
Sing it out loud
Desperately singing
You're beautiful now
There's something
I'm trying to tell you
I've tried to tell you before and
Each time that I profess it
It just leaves me wanting more and
I think you are beautiful
And I'm proud of you
What I'm trying to say is
I love you
I love you. -Flyleaf
I don't know why this is happening.
You made me remember about my mother whose staying at home working as well... I wish I can say something to you...or heck just chat with you irl to help you feel better but I'm helpless to take care of anyone. So I'l tell you this, as long as she knows you are alive, she will know she has done something great. We live in a world full of mirrors...we look at a friend from one perspective and they look different in other. But you are her daughter, no matter where she looks she knows who you are. But yeah..don't try to solve the world0 muffin,your only human. I hope you feel better muffin...I really do.