I would like to thank, first and most of all, Iccy (aka Not-Fun) for being a kind soul in general. I usually only post as a way to vent. To write things out. Let out steam. Not to actually, yanno, get actual advice or support on anything. Haha. Which is strange but the honest truth.

So to everyone, thank you so much for your sympathetic advice and kind suggestions. I really can't express just how thankful I am. (Well--maybe I can--but that'll come in a sec.)

My brother is currently in a mental health hospital in San Angelo. What's hard to comprehend about the situation is that... this is what he wants. He called us back kinda peachy and dandy asking if we could buy him cigarettes with the paycheck he got from his job, which he'd had for a week. Mom refused, saying that he needed it for meds. He hung up and that was the last we heard from him.

He didn't self harm to take his own life, per se. He... did it just to get out of society. This is the third time he's done this, and each time it happens after he's being pushed by one authority figure or another to start living his own life. Does this change how I feel about him? No. Not really. It once did. Mainly when I was first trying to sober up and get my life back in order. It used to fill me with resentment in the sense of, "If I'm having to work to live my life and get back on track, then he should too, dammit."

That all changed that morning. My brother is still very sick, despite the fact that he's, well, kind of a bum. Maybe not sick in the typical way--but even well adjusted bums don't self-harm to go back to a mental hospital. Normal folk don't like being in a mental facility. My brother, however, enjoys the luxury of a meal three times a day, his sheets and clothes being washed for him, designated TV time, and a constant dose of meds. He would prefer that my family fill in the blank spots, such as cigarettes and extra cash, but I think they've stopped enabling that. As they should.

There's still this... emptiness about the house, though. We're all very subdued. We have a member of our family that does not wish to be a member unless it is on his terms that he is not required to take part of helping the family, or being part of society. Which--is something we cannot give him.

So right now it's very uncertain where things will go from here. But... we're recovering. Other than feeling a little under the weather and a bit stressed we are recovering.

---

So, that said, amidst all this madness, there are some things that have come about that I would consider "good news".

I now have a digital tablet! c: A rather nice one as well, if I might say so. A Monoprice 9x12 which, on to of being cheaper, far surpasses my old bamboo in terms of size and functionality. I've got CS2. I've got pressure functionality. I'm ready to set this ship sailing!

So, in thanks of everyone who helped out, I'm doing a sort of... -copper artist- type deal. Basically I'm going to take a bunch of free requests. That's it. Basically I want characters, scenes, and colors to practice with. Sooooo---cough 'em up. Bring me your ref sheets and you ideas. I'll update with a list and completion status journal. But for now I just want to get drawing.

If you'd like to be super cool and awesome and spread the word that I'm taking requests, I'll give you some extra stoof. Like an avatar. Or I'll attempt to make a background for your drawing. Who knows! Basically I'm taking up to fifty requests so there's plenty of room to hop on this bandwagon. (Plus it'll be a great distraction for me to try and de-stress--so yay for mutual benefits!)

Again, thank you all. I know semi hashed together drawings aren't the COOLEST of thank yous but I really want to do what I can. And since I don't have money and I can't give you all hugs in real life, this is the best I can do.

Again, thanks so much. Just really.

I have so much love for you guys right now. <333


~Red