So, Halloween was not terrible. I started out being incredibly depressed. Don't know why, just woke up that way. The fact that there was no halloween spirit around here I am certain did not aid that. It felt neither like firday nor a holiday... I remember back in the day, there were few things equivicable to Halloween falling upon a friday.
My gf made things a bit better just by being with her throughout the day though. After our homework time (because what we do following her final class of the day is venture forth to the library or "learning commons" and do what homework we can together. Makes it more enjoyable and easier to keep focus and get things done... and can be fun when we give eachother scritches and.... things *giggles*), we bummed around a little, our bud from school drove us around to halloween stores (because they were determined to get my a costume... which turned to be a fruitless endeavor in the end, at least in that aspect. It was a fun adventure, I have never been to a walmart prior, and we went to hot topic and talked with the nice lady that worked there for a short while, which was pretty cool. She was rocking some really cool demon stuff like horns and red contacts. Very very cool), we went to a restraunt after where my gf got drunk on lemon drops (vodka and lemon juice are the basic basics of it... I am sure some of you may have had one in the past or at the very least heard of it... had a sip or too, was very good). Let me tell you guys... She is adorable and the life of the party sober, being drunk only amplified it, lol!
following that, we went to a friend of hers and she again tried to get me high, since I have never before been... I hit the bowl and the bong, hit the bong hard and still nothing. I am beginning to think I have a sort of immunity to it or something. She was off her ass, and gosh guys.... haha, she is too cute. I love the sound of her laughter, plus she is such a goofball! It is great X3
this girl.... this girl.... She has been bringing me out of my shell a lot, making me take in a different side of the world than I normally would... I am an antisocial introvert.. I do not do the things this raver, thrill seeker does. Haha, the 'boring' version of nocturn in philly, she braught me to... and I had a bit of a panic/anxiety attack there. Lol, I don't handle people well and I need to be prpared to be out of my element like that, it was a bit of a jump into the midst of things.... and the prozac probobly would have helped if I took it a lot sooner and without the alcohol immediately following taking it... lol... I do worry, she was being a little physically distant recently, last night excluded. I am very touchy and very cuddly to a very few people, and she and I have been really cuddly, but she has been acting like this ammount of affection and all is a new thing or that I am overdoing it, even though it isn't as much as she was previously cool with. Idk, I am always scared to think about things of that nature when it comes to her, because merely by being near to her and recieving any ammount of affection from her eases anxiety, eases the depression, makes everything so much better, I legitimately fear losing her.... she brings a happiness I never knew I could even feel. When I am around her, I have a whole seperate set of feelings that dont exist in my world when she is not around . She makes me feel.. she makes me feel feelings... she makes me feel alive...


Sorry for not really being around, guys... I havent had the energy, because school is so draining... and I have been so busy, plus a computer that can barely handle being on these kinds of sites. Sucks.

*yawns* well, I am calling it a night, fuzzy butts and furballs. I hope to reconnect with you all soon! I dont plan on being gone forever!