Losing weight would defiantly improve anyones mood. As for self harm... Avoiding it takes lots of will power and confidence in urself

To be honest I'm not a big fan of tattoos myself. But on the other hand if it helps distract you from harming yourself, I say go for it!

I honestly would suggest getting a tat of either a phrase or symbol that would remind you of how there's is more to you than how you feel now, that there's more to life than the problems you face. I myself was planning on getting a tat of a lotus on my left under-arm. Reason being is because the lotus starts off as a seed submerged in the murky depths of the lake it was thrown in and over time it grows toward any glimpse of sun it can find til it finally breaks the surface and blooms. So overall, its a symbol of hope and perseverance. (I haven't gotten it yet because I don't know if it'll hinder me from getting a job as nurse)

Also, instead of binge eating when feeling down, try taking a brisk walk outside or on a treadmill for 30-45 mins straight. Being active instead of being lazy helps battle feelings of apathy and fatigue. And if you do ever end up binging on food, try something like fruits or vegetables or granola bars high in fiber.

I have much faith in you and know the kindness in your heart. Just need to show that kindness to yourself just as much as you do to others. ^^

A tattoo of a phrase or symbol only works if you have the mindset that you are already getting over what it is you are fighting. If I got a tattoo, and then one night decided that it didint apply anymore, I would cut right through it, no questions asked. A symbol of hope only works if you have hope to begin with.

(Yes, it CAN hurt your chances at being a nurse, just as a heads up.)

Fruits and vegetables are expensive. When you are poor like me, and walk all day at work for 10 hours a day, and have a dad that doesnt want you to leave the house because "you are too ugly to go outside and be seen", those things usually arent on your mind.

I have kindness in my heart for others but I need a way to distract myself from the self-loathing, and fast. I need a patch that will hold me over until the next day.

Really? Fruits are more expensive than junk food? :/ Thats odd. I can usually get canned pineapple chunks 10 for $10 here and that lasts me awhile.

Either way, it pains me everytime I see you struggle. You've been trying for so long to rid yourself of this and when you do, its just temporary. I really really want you to be truly happy both on the outside and in. To shut out all the negativity on the outside and be happy with yourself. Take pride for being yourself because there's no one else exactly like you and you are a wonderful beautiful person both inside and out. If i didnt believe this I wouldnt have entrusted you for being my furry mom. You're kind, understanding, quirky, loving, aesthetic, and a joy to be around. You just struggle with things like your dad (who's just an asshole) and past events and you let them define you, which is unfair to yourself.

If you want to improve, take smalls steps forward and keep going. I honestly dont kno what to tell you besides to fight for your life. It's easier said than done, I know and life isnt easy, but nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it.




PS. Sry for rambling, I just really want to see you get through this. :(

Canned fruit can be just as unhealthy as fried dough. The preservatives, syrups, and dyes can do just as much harm as butter and fat.

I struggle because I was born into a dysfunctional family, and into a dysfunctional life. Im 21, and I have been through so much. I was grown and an adult, by the time I was 6. I had a job at 13 to help pay BILLS. I took over the mortgage at 17. I have been in debt my entire life, and filed for bankruptcy twice. On top of that, I wasnt blessed with happiness, love, family, and a feeling of friendship and community. I grew up without those. ANd I still struggle to find those things.

I struggle with my dad, yes, but I struggle with my finances and myself the most. I struggle with finding love from even friends. My past defines me, but its the present that keeps the feelings apparent. I have no reason to smile, or be happy. None. Nothing has happened to make my life any better or more "worth living". In my eyes, there is only one way to make myself happy, and that would make everyone else hate me, so I cant do that. I dont see myself happy in 10 years or even 30 years. I see myself in debt, fighting to try and be happy, and only failing miserably.

I have been fighting day-in and day-out to be happy for years. And Im back where I was before. At the fucking bottom. I fight every day to not think about taking my own life, or slicing my skin open to have just SOME sort of release from the hell that I live through every day. To FEEL something other than loathing for myself and hating the thought of having to wake up in the morning knowing I wish I hadn't woken up at all.

I want to get through this just as everyone else wants me to. I just dont see it happening.

Sometimes I kinda suck at coming up with words for support. ;~; I'm not a good friend

But seriously um. Better to, perhaps, get a tattoo somewhere you can't cut? Or, maybe of something that doesn't necessarily imply a mood you may not have. Something more neutral. Scars do fade, but they only fade so much. But like... I wish I could do more for you. I am not good at this sort of thing even though I wish I was.

I will say though that since you are considering something OTHER than self-harm, it makes me think that there is some part of you inside which sees and recognizes that it is not healthy, and not good for you. If it were me, I would latch onto that, try to figure out some way to cultivate it, and find ways to block out or remove the external interference that was dragging me down - If you are surrounded by negativity, it's hard to be anything but negative. If you can find more positive things to surround you, you may find it helps with your mood. I don't know what things to surround yourself with but if I can help, please let me know. I'm the type who, if I know what to do, will move heaven and earth to help a friend. |D

I dont have anything positive in my life to surround myself with. Not even 1. Thats the problem.

if your going to get a tat
get something positive and in a place where you can see it alot. So that every time you need something to motivate you, its right there.
Dont go all super tat tho, Yes stratches and cuts heal but doing them to much makes scars there just as bad as tats. But at lease people can understand a tat and wont ask where you got it....unless they want one too haha.
Something small to see if it even helps in the slightest. =3

as for eating healthy pffffft im a hippocrite right now mahself *eats only snacks* i hardly eat and when i do its NOT the best food.... mostly because well...im so picky lately so i dont get food that doesnt last too long like apples or maybe some eggs...
*keeps waiting for my own house* also mum eats everything i buy before i even get to touch it KINDA a downer haha!

i agree with what digi said about the working out part. But its michigain out side! freakin cold~
go chop up some wood for a fire. Kill two burds with one stone haha got wood for a fire and a good work out!

My offer still stands! If we both worked towards losing weight one of us will buy the other dinner! And yeah get a tattoo. Sexy