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Life Update
11 years ago
This time yesterday I was feeling good. I was feeling optimistic. And I was fully expecting my next FA journal to be quite positive. Had it all planned and everything.
What a difference a day makes, eh?
Life has once again decided to give me a hard kick square in the balls. With steel toe capped boots. With great big bloody spikes on them.
It’s not enough for me to fall ill since yesterday. No, I have to be once again be reminded just how much of a useless, pathetic waste of space I really am. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I will inevitably do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, end up screwing everything up, drive people away, wreck everything. It always happens eventually, given enough time.
I’m not going to go into details, it’s too personal. But suffice to say I feel like I am back to square one with my depression. Any progress I may have made with my confidence and creativity is gone. I have no idea whatsoever when I may feel like drawing anything again. Right now, I’m not sure I ever will feel like it again.
It might not be too wise to be writing this at a time when I’m feeling ill, dead inside, massively depressed, and have managed less than 2 hours sleep. But I don’t care. Screw wisdom, it’s never done me much good.
Bottom line is, don’t expect to see much from me any time soon, if ever again. I’m so sorry everyone, for wasting your time.
What a difference a day makes, eh?
Life has once again decided to give me a hard kick square in the balls. With steel toe capped boots. With great big bloody spikes on them.
It’s not enough for me to fall ill since yesterday. No, I have to be once again be reminded just how much of a useless, pathetic waste of space I really am. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I will inevitably do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, end up screwing everything up, drive people away, wreck everything. It always happens eventually, given enough time.
I’m not going to go into details, it’s too personal. But suffice to say I feel like I am back to square one with my depression. Any progress I may have made with my confidence and creativity is gone. I have no idea whatsoever when I may feel like drawing anything again. Right now, I’m not sure I ever will feel like it again.
It might not be too wise to be writing this at a time when I’m feeling ill, dead inside, massively depressed, and have managed less than 2 hours sleep. But I don’t care. Screw wisdom, it’s never done me much good.
Bottom line is, don’t expect to see much from me any time soon, if ever again. I’m so sorry everyone, for wasting your time.
And the apology for wasting everyone's time was more about them wasting their time watching me when I don't know when or if I'll ever do any art again. I maybe should have made that clearer. Big surprise, I screw up something else...
Again, no one is worthless. Because if you're worthless, then everyone is worthless, which is obviously not true.
If you ever need shoulders to learn on or anyone to talk to, we're all here for you, Cyber!
*Hugs*
I feel for you, and i hope things get better at some point.
I have been in the darkness too, i send you a big hug , dont give up
If you got that shitty cold thats going around, I had it for a week or so