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Life is an arena to me. I have to fight furiously.
11 years ago
Really terrible Anxiety attack yesterday. Some one offenced me by taunting and targeting my dronne projects.
I went REALLY MAD, with extreme upset and anger, and memory blackout happened shortly. International student maneger and school counselor talked with me for 1 hour, and finally I calmed down. I was brought to hospital for help last nights. Psychiatry wing of the hospital was not a pleasant place. I knew it when I saw the beds with restrain stripes.
After examination and a long talk with the doctor, everyone found out things are seriously going wrong with me. My Anxiety and stress are outbursting, with some degrees of depression. I visited the hospital in Abortsford again today after school, and fortunately, I have completely no potential dangerous of hurting myself and others.
I really appracite them for keeping my problem away from my parents' notice. I dont want let them worry and make troubles bigger.
...And there is another appointment after school tomorrow. They told me I may need medical support.
I'm not a Canadian, I am neither resident nor have a ensurence. But, the international student maneger is very kind. She told me She'll find a way to help me to pay for it.
Aside things above, Report card shows I'm doing well with dealing my school work, with straight As in Math and Science, and a few Bs in other subjects.
also,(cough cough),
NO ONE CAN STOP MY HOBBY AND PROJECTS, NO ONE
I'M A DRONE PILOT, I FLY DRONES, AND I'M FUCKING PROUD OF THAT, GOT IT?
Life is an arena to me. I have to fight furiously.
I went REALLY MAD, with extreme upset and anger, and memory blackout happened shortly. International student maneger and school counselor talked with me for 1 hour, and finally I calmed down. I was brought to hospital for help last nights. Psychiatry wing of the hospital was not a pleasant place. I knew it when I saw the beds with restrain stripes.
After examination and a long talk with the doctor, everyone found out things are seriously going wrong with me. My Anxiety and stress are outbursting, with some degrees of depression. I visited the hospital in Abortsford again today after school, and fortunately, I have completely no potential dangerous of hurting myself and others.
I really appracite them for keeping my problem away from my parents' notice. I dont want let them worry and make troubles bigger.
...And there is another appointment after school tomorrow. They told me I may need medical support.
I'm not a Canadian, I am neither resident nor have a ensurence. But, the international student maneger is very kind. She told me She'll find a way to help me to pay for it.
Aside things above, Report card shows I'm doing well with dealing my school work, with straight As in Math and Science, and a few Bs in other subjects.
also,(cough cough),
NO ONE CAN STOP MY HOBBY AND PROJECTS, NO ONE
I'M A DRONE PILOT, I FLY DRONES, AND I'M FUCKING PROUD OF THAT, GOT IT?
Life is an arena to me. I have to fight furiously.
I care about you very much. It would be healthy for you to intentionally detach some of your emotional attachments to these things. I'm not saying to stop them, no! People who have a bias and fear of drones, that's *their* problem. You are NOT using it for evil. I know that, and I believe that with all of my heart. I support you 1,000%.
But like my love for wolves... it was unhealthy for many years. Wolves were like my gods. I loved them more than I loved my own life. My happiness hinged on them. But it was not healthy. I came close to hurting other people just because they threatened a wolf. This is very unhealthy.
You can really like something, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if we attach more emotion to something than is healthy, it will begin to branch out and affect other areas of our lives. I used to have crippling bouts of anxiety. depression. Bipolar disorder. Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
When my emotional structure began to mellow out, when I eliminated all caffeine from my life, and when I disciplined my heart, I began to mellow out. The anxiety went away. Yes, I was hospitalized once for anxiety, just like you.
You are doing very, very well my friend. I am proud of you and honored to call you my friend.
Turning to God has helped me become the man I am today. I have not had a prescription drug in over a decade- and I have never been happier in life. It takes a lot of self discipline, even your own emotions, but with God's help I am so much better off. I know, if in your dark day, you cry out to God for help, he will hear you my friend. I am still, and always praying for you, because I love you.
*Hugs you!* I wish you the best. You are an amazing person.
You are very right about me, Tundra. The obsess grows with me when I put emotional attachment with my works. With all those lonely nights in front of working bench, and all those lonely days away from my home. The emotional attachments with my stuff made me berserk, both toward myself and others.
I'm fighting with my life. Strange country, mean students, heavy work and being long separate from my parents...I have no one to attach to, And I don't know what will my future be.
You always pull me out from my swamp, I don't even know how to express my appreciation... Thank you for appearing in my life, and give me all the 1000% supports I need :')
Thank you for all the good wishes, and praying for me.
I shall cheer up, and fight through all my nightmares, anxiety, and depression. I shall also working harder with my drones, with less emotional output ripple.
Thank you again Tundrawolf, for being here with me, letting me know some loves me, and I'm not alone.
Best wishes and hug you again!