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Feeling a Little Deflated
11 years ago
This past holiday really took a lot out of me emotionally.
Thanksgiving itself always used to be such a happy time for my family on both sides. At home on my mother's side, we would always cook a big dinner and the rest of the family would come over throughout the day and join us to eat. On my dad's side, my dad would come in for a week, go hunting with my grandpa, and when Thanksgiving came around, they would cook a big dinner as well.
Over the past few years it has just gotten progressively more depressing. My mother's family slowly drifted apart and less and less people showed up to dinner. This year, absolutely no one showed up. I couldn't even bear to visit my grandparent's this year simply because of what we found out last year. (For those who don't know, I do have a journal that goes in depth with this, but for the sake of time, my father went missing during a fishing trip back in 2009, and just a week before last Christmas, a couple of hunters found his remains on the lake bed.)
Apart from the holiday itself, I had to go to the doctor for a rash on my leg that I've had for well over a year now. I went in for it before and they told me it was ringworm and gave me some stuff to put on it. That never helped, so I had to go back. Now they're telling me I might have eczema. It's not something I really want to have, but it's not out of the realm of possibility for me to have it. My grandmother on my dad's side also has it. They gave me some pills and some steroid cream and so far it's clearing up pretty well. I still don't know for sure whether it's ringworm or eczema, neither do the doctors yet, but they're setting me up an appointment with a dermatologist to get it looked at.
On top of all this, my step-grandmother was admitted to the hospital and has been there for almost two weeks. She went in for chest pains and as things progressed, her heart ended up stopping twice. She had a temporary pacemaker put in and is doing better, but we found out she's in stage 4 kidney failure. We think it was her medicines that caused her heart to stop, but I really don't know.
I tend to turn to my friends for support with heavy things like this, and one in particular that really could have helped me get through it shoved me away for seemingly no reason. I wear my heart on my sleeve so her doing that to me out of nowhere really hit me hard. I tried to get her to talk it out with me and she just blew me off.
It hurts knowing that someone you used to be so close to won't even give you the time of day anymore. But I've come to terms with the fact that those who won't be there for you in times of need aren't really worth spending your time on to begin with.
During my time away I went through a very deep depression. I couldn't function, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything for three days straight. I stayed locked away in my room just laying in bed. I was not well.
Time heals all wounds though, and I am coming out of this slowly but surely. I sincerely apologize to everyone, commissioners especially, for being away. I'll be putting my nose to the grindstone and working harder than ever on things I need to do.
I know that if you need to talk things out you can always note me or Skype me(ill give you my Skype if you want it) Hurting like that with no way out, AND on the holidays is terrible. Im glad your feeling better, I always love to see people smile. Let me know if theres ever anything you need from me. I will always be a shoulder of support.
I hope this doesn't sound too creepy. I would like to think we are friends, and I will always support my friends. If your commissioners are good people they will understand, and for those who don't....they should take a look at who they are in the mirror
Stay well Kareen, There are folks who want to see you happy
And of course we're friends! (If you wanna note me your skype, I'll totally add you once I get a chance ^^)
I wish you the best and if you want someone to talk to you can always hit me up on skype *hug*
I should be on skype some this week if you want to talk.
I've dealt with eczema my whole life. A lot of citrus can cause reactions and certain foods. I just eat less citrus things, ha. Food too good. Dove is a really good soap for eczema. Non scented softeners are good to use also, glad works for me. Eczema suuucks. Especially in the summer.
And thank you for all the info on eczema! I had no idea citrus could make it worse. It's really not too bad right now surprisingly. The only sad part for me is no more hot showers or hot temperatures in general ;n;
Good to hear! The year is almost up, rest easy and enjoy your holidays.