I'm so tired of my constant feelings of anxiety and helplessness. I feel like I'm caught in a state of suspension, unable to do anything but watch as tragedy unfolds before my eyes.

A friend falls down a path of darkness to a light at the end that's nothing but the glimmer of the devil's teeth.

My own family crumbles day after day, my parents constantly fighting.

My future is so uncertain that not even my beloved tarot cards know what to make of it.

And I don't feel like I can do anything to fix it at all.

Even when I went to see the psychologist today and yesterday, I felt like garbage talking about this stuff. Felt like I shouldn't even bother because it's all gonna go to hell in a hand basket anyway.

I'm sorry I'm so weak. I wish I were made of sterner material, I wish I was more self sufficient, more able to close the wounds of the heart and stop the teardrops.

I'm so tired and scared and hurt and angry right now. My stomach constantly feels like it's twisted in a knot and impaled with knives. I'm going to be getting professional help, but I don't know if it will even work to help me.

I'm sorry.