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It's not that I hate the holidays...
11 years ago
General
...but I kinda hate the holidays.
For some reason, late November is the time when everything seems to ramp up. It's like people know that they're gonna lose hours during December, so instead of just allowing themselves to take some rest, they have to try to get 2 months' worth of work done before they get to celebrate anything.
My job is not an exception to this rule. Even though I'm working with a small startup, I feel like that actually can make it worse sometimes. So for the last several weeks I have been doing much more overtime in that department than I should have done, and it has been fairly stressful. I kept telling myself that it would be worth it, because after the crunch, I would at least be able to go back to visit my parents for Christmas, and that would be a nice bit of time that I could set aside to also work on commissions, and hopefully get caught up a bit (since I am woefully behind still, for which I sincerely and deeply apologize.)
Since I am pretty much broke most of the time, my parents bought me tickets to get to North Carolina to visit them this year. Which is a nice thought... I like my family a lot, but because of the price of plane tickets at this time of the year, I have ended up having to leave weeks prior to when I would probably have liked. So now I am in North Carolina, trying to get some work done, and it's going to be difficult.
As stated above, I love my family, but I wouldn't say that we are particularly close anymore. After college I came out to them, which they were kind of ok with in concept, but then when I actually got a boyfriend and started living my life, it became more of a big deal. I told them about my life and they got fairly upset, and since then they have become somewhat distant. It's disappointing, but most of the time I deal with it fairly easily by living 2500 miles away and not thinking about it, and just trying to live my life in a way that works for me. That said, it does mean that if I am obligated to go home for Christmas to visit them for almost a whole month, I have to be alone, because my guy would be most unwelcome. Which, go figure, kinda actually makes me feel a little unwelcome, too.
Well anyway, my parents also don't know that I draw furry artwork at all really, much less furry porn (which is fine... they don't need to know that, in my opinion.) But it is causing problems because I really don't feel like I can take a month off from both of my jobs, particularly since I am so behind, and people who have been on the commission list for a long time now are starting to get (understandably) impatient. But it is hard to find time that I can actually be alone and do my illustration. :(
Add to that the fact that I couldn't take my desktop home (which is the computer I use for all my furry art), and instead am working off my laptop (which is normally reserved for my other job), it turns out that there are some files and software that I didn't bring with me, and I'm just kicking myself.
I guess, all-in-all, I feel like I'm caught in a really crappy situation, and I'm sorry that first the depression and now all these shenanigans seem to have pushed my commissions from the forefront, where they should be. But I decided I should let everyone know where I am this time, and that I'm honestly not ignoring you guys, I'm just in kind of a bad situation at the moment. I will still be trying to do as much artwork from here as I can manage, and then coming up in January I will be able to get back into it with more regularity.
Oh, and I didn't really think about it before I left Cali unfortunately, but a lot of the art that I had ready to post is also on my computer at home. I'm feeling pretty dumb, but I'm also trying to figure out ways that will make it up to you guys, especially everyone who has been so patient on the commission list up until now.
And last of all, I feel like I have forgotten some people in the list, so if you have reserved a commission slot from me but you don't see your name on the list, please feel free to backhand me in the form of a strongly-worded email, and I'll fix that right up for you.
Well I hope everyone else's holidays go more smoothly than mine seem to be, and I will hopefully have a bit of art to post here soon.
Thanks guys,
-Tsai
In Progress ASAP:
Bundadingy
NeonMushu
Thertheblackpanther
CaptainOtter
Waiting List
Sovy
StormWolff
Yuuryuu
Jrtemp
Triss
GT
Anonymous
ShiftElement
Thaine
Ferro_Cordis
Stormwolff
Mayhew
Tbolt
Ryudar
Backdraftwolf
Chuchumo
Tigertau
Nelly
Charismatic1983
Feliksas
Teryx
Ich
Ion-Static13
Rico-Dragon
Noobulafur
Ryder Otter
Dotas323
Buckwolf89/Clefwolf
Django
Leosabre
For some reason, late November is the time when everything seems to ramp up. It's like people know that they're gonna lose hours during December, so instead of just allowing themselves to take some rest, they have to try to get 2 months' worth of work done before they get to celebrate anything.
My job is not an exception to this rule. Even though I'm working with a small startup, I feel like that actually can make it worse sometimes. So for the last several weeks I have been doing much more overtime in that department than I should have done, and it has been fairly stressful. I kept telling myself that it would be worth it, because after the crunch, I would at least be able to go back to visit my parents for Christmas, and that would be a nice bit of time that I could set aside to also work on commissions, and hopefully get caught up a bit (since I am woefully behind still, for which I sincerely and deeply apologize.)
Since I am pretty much broke most of the time, my parents bought me tickets to get to North Carolina to visit them this year. Which is a nice thought... I like my family a lot, but because of the price of plane tickets at this time of the year, I have ended up having to leave weeks prior to when I would probably have liked. So now I am in North Carolina, trying to get some work done, and it's going to be difficult.
As stated above, I love my family, but I wouldn't say that we are particularly close anymore. After college I came out to them, which they were kind of ok with in concept, but then when I actually got a boyfriend and started living my life, it became more of a big deal. I told them about my life and they got fairly upset, and since then they have become somewhat distant. It's disappointing, but most of the time I deal with it fairly easily by living 2500 miles away and not thinking about it, and just trying to live my life in a way that works for me. That said, it does mean that if I am obligated to go home for Christmas to visit them for almost a whole month, I have to be alone, because my guy would be most unwelcome. Which, go figure, kinda actually makes me feel a little unwelcome, too.
Well anyway, my parents also don't know that I draw furry artwork at all really, much less furry porn (which is fine... they don't need to know that, in my opinion.) But it is causing problems because I really don't feel like I can take a month off from both of my jobs, particularly since I am so behind, and people who have been on the commission list for a long time now are starting to get (understandably) impatient. But it is hard to find time that I can actually be alone and do my illustration. :(
Add to that the fact that I couldn't take my desktop home (which is the computer I use for all my furry art), and instead am working off my laptop (which is normally reserved for my other job), it turns out that there are some files and software that I didn't bring with me, and I'm just kicking myself.
I guess, all-in-all, I feel like I'm caught in a really crappy situation, and I'm sorry that first the depression and now all these shenanigans seem to have pushed my commissions from the forefront, where they should be. But I decided I should let everyone know where I am this time, and that I'm honestly not ignoring you guys, I'm just in kind of a bad situation at the moment. I will still be trying to do as much artwork from here as I can manage, and then coming up in January I will be able to get back into it with more regularity.
Oh, and I didn't really think about it before I left Cali unfortunately, but a lot of the art that I had ready to post is also on my computer at home. I'm feeling pretty dumb, but I'm also trying to figure out ways that will make it up to you guys, especially everyone who has been so patient on the commission list up until now.
And last of all, I feel like I have forgotten some people in the list, so if you have reserved a commission slot from me but you don't see your name on the list, please feel free to backhand me in the form of a strongly-worded email, and I'll fix that right up for you.
Well I hope everyone else's holidays go more smoothly than mine seem to be, and I will hopefully have a bit of art to post here soon.
Thanks guys,
-Tsai
In Progress ASAP:
Bundadingy
NeonMushu
Thertheblackpanther
CaptainOtter
Waiting List
Sovy
StormWolff
Yuuryuu
Jrtemp
Triss
GT
Anonymous
ShiftElement
Thaine
Ferro_Cordis
Stormwolff
Mayhew
Tbolt
Ryudar
Backdraftwolf
Chuchumo
Tigertau
Nelly
Charismatic1983
Feliksas
Teryx
Ich
Ion-Static13
Rico-Dragon
Noobulafur
Ryder Otter
Dotas323
Buckwolf89/Clefwolf
Django
Leosabre
I hope your holidays are happy, when you finally have a chance to breathe.
Since you're there for now though, best to just sit tight and get done what you can. For whatever consolation it's worth, I loathe this time of year as well. :/
On the other side i can understand that you don´t want to clash with your family .
To you works (especially your drawing one ) i can say do it when you can , when it mean you can´t do it for a month then it is . Sure folks ( also me ) would like to have it as soon as possible , but the possible is important . I´m sure nobody wants to add pressure on you for it . Pressure never improved a picture you know XD . And stress is never helping a bit .
My advice is: try to focus only on the important things right now and leave the rest for the future.
In the meanwhile, I wish you the best and hope that this holidays will help you to relax and to find new energy in you!!! *hugs*
Don't let them get to you man.
I won't even begin to say that I can be exactly where you're at as I haven't had to come out to my family but I did have a particularly stressful home life where I couldn't be in a room with my mother more than five minutes before she would start picking and pushing buttons until it devolved into screaming, cursing and petty shit. After she pulled something at Thanksgiving and I walked the twenty miles home rather than spend another minute in the house or even ask for a ride things changed. I didn't talk to them for nearly half a year and they have never pulled anything like it again. I didn't come home for Christmas, my birthday or anything for another year and still haven't had a Christmas with them since but they don't try to guilt trip me into coming home to step into a fight anymore. That was about 4 years ago. The holidays are rough and they tend to hit me extremely hard as well as this has traditionally been a time of struggle, loss, hopelessness and even death for the past ten years. I hope you weather the holidays another year as I expect to weather another in the same manner. Take care bud.
That really sucks how your family's claim of acceptance has turned into rejection. You are your own person and your sexuality is a big part of who you are, but it's not all of who you are. If it was me I wouldn't go visit if my significant other wasn't welcome in their home, or if our loving relationship was treated so negatively. You shouldn't have to hide who you are, or hide who it is you love.
As far as your furry artwork, where's the harm if they find out you draw it? There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about and you should treat your talent with great pride. It's a source of income, a form of self employment with your own business in addition to your regular job, and there's no reason to hide the fact. They don't need to know you draw porn, and surely there's enough non-porn in your commission list that you can work on while you're visiting them. If they don't like it they don't have to look at it.
Hang in there, hold your head up high, and never let their petty objections cause you to feel shame in who you are or what talents you have. Be proud of yourself. If who you are and what you do is something they can't accept, the problem is theirs.
You have me if you ever need a talk.