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Coming out of the Closet...
11 years ago
General
Those are... very strange words coming from a man who's as Straight as the lines on a sheet of geometric graph paper printed from a $100,000 plotter.
It's very ironic that a otherwise 'normal outstanding young man' would be using these words. I mean, if you looked at me on the street, at work, etc they'red be no way you'd as much suspect I had anything "wierd" going on.
But it's very much true, at least how I opened up my parents as of today. I had 'the talk' with them about my involvement with the Furry Fandom. 100% honest, didn't hold anything back including telling them that yes, I was at Midwest Furfest, as an attendee and Staff when the attack happened.
It went very well. They seem very accepting of the fact but at the same time not running out and telling all of their friends and family how great it is that their son is a Furry (which was the other extreme I was dreading...). I asked that it be kept quiet, especially around Family, and so far it seems they are going to honor that request.
It was something that I had been hiding from them for years. And I feel like a huge weight off my shoulders when I broke down and spilled the beans.
They saw one of the more positive news stories about the Convention and thought that everyone looked like they were having a good time. My parents were just as appaled and confused as to why someone would do what they did as I am.
I'm not going to rush out and scream on the rooftops "OMG LOOK EVERYONE I AM A FURRY!!!!" by no means. Not bringing it up to most of my family, nor am I going to bring it up at work, etc (not that I know my co-workers that well anyways).
But moving forward... I think I'm going to be a lot more confident. And if someone asks me Directly, yes I'm not going to sit and cower and deny it. If the situation is hostile; I may try to change the subject or walk away but no longer am I going to be afraid to defend myself or my friends for that matter.
Because it IS a part of who I am. And while I do NOT believe that I am IN ANY WAY a giant talking anthropomorphic Dog In Real Life (I have no delusion that I am anything BUT Human... though the What If is still fun to think about sometimes...) yes I enjoy Furry Artwork. Yes I have a personal charachter that I can relate to and put in characteristics of my real life into. Its a lot like being an Author - I get to make and envision my own character in his own Fictional story and you know what? Its a LOT of fun :)
So that is that. Where it leads, I am not sure. But I don't need to worry about hiding con badges, T-Shirts, or other Furry related items (and NO not those type of... Ugh. I don't own any... nor have any desire to.... Eww) around the house. If I know I am having family company over I may take down a few pieces of G rated art that I am likely to be more comfortable hanging in my gaming room now. Same goes from that plaque I got from MFF. I'll put it up, in a less then obvious but still vise able place by the computer monitor.
No more fear of public shame and being humiliated. No more hiding. The Furry Fandom has done so much for me that even with all the time I put into it as staff and Volunteering for various conventions and events I could never give back all that I have received from it. 99% of my Friends, the people I choose to spend time with, are directly related to the Furry Fandom. That's a pretty staggering number.
I can count the friends I have outside of the Fandom on one hand. Those related to Furry; I'd need both hands and feet and then some to count them all.
The voyage continues... and if my parents ever decide to show up to a Fur Con or event I am ready. Today has been a huge milestone. And while the world, being so full of bigotry may not be ready for me being 100% honest that I am "different" from what is deemed "normal" by society in some way...
I am not ashamed, and I never have been. But now it is time to stand my ground and not hide who I am.
It's very ironic that a otherwise 'normal outstanding young man' would be using these words. I mean, if you looked at me on the street, at work, etc they'red be no way you'd as much suspect I had anything "wierd" going on.
But it's very much true, at least how I opened up my parents as of today. I had 'the talk' with them about my involvement with the Furry Fandom. 100% honest, didn't hold anything back including telling them that yes, I was at Midwest Furfest, as an attendee and Staff when the attack happened.
It went very well. They seem very accepting of the fact but at the same time not running out and telling all of their friends and family how great it is that their son is a Furry (which was the other extreme I was dreading...). I asked that it be kept quiet, especially around Family, and so far it seems they are going to honor that request.
It was something that I had been hiding from them for years. And I feel like a huge weight off my shoulders when I broke down and spilled the beans.
They saw one of the more positive news stories about the Convention and thought that everyone looked like they were having a good time. My parents were just as appaled and confused as to why someone would do what they did as I am.
I'm not going to rush out and scream on the rooftops "OMG LOOK EVERYONE I AM A FURRY!!!!" by no means. Not bringing it up to most of my family, nor am I going to bring it up at work, etc (not that I know my co-workers that well anyways).
But moving forward... I think I'm going to be a lot more confident. And if someone asks me Directly, yes I'm not going to sit and cower and deny it. If the situation is hostile; I may try to change the subject or walk away but no longer am I going to be afraid to defend myself or my friends for that matter.
Because it IS a part of who I am. And while I do NOT believe that I am IN ANY WAY a giant talking anthropomorphic Dog In Real Life (I have no delusion that I am anything BUT Human... though the What If is still fun to think about sometimes...) yes I enjoy Furry Artwork. Yes I have a personal charachter that I can relate to and put in characteristics of my real life into. Its a lot like being an Author - I get to make and envision my own character in his own Fictional story and you know what? Its a LOT of fun :)
So that is that. Where it leads, I am not sure. But I don't need to worry about hiding con badges, T-Shirts, or other Furry related items (and NO not those type of... Ugh. I don't own any... nor have any desire to.... Eww) around the house. If I know I am having family company over I may take down a few pieces of G rated art that I am likely to be more comfortable hanging in my gaming room now. Same goes from that plaque I got from MFF. I'll put it up, in a less then obvious but still vise able place by the computer monitor.
No more fear of public shame and being humiliated. No more hiding. The Furry Fandom has done so much for me that even with all the time I put into it as staff and Volunteering for various conventions and events I could never give back all that I have received from it. 99% of my Friends, the people I choose to spend time with, are directly related to the Furry Fandom. That's a pretty staggering number.
I can count the friends I have outside of the Fandom on one hand. Those related to Furry; I'd need both hands and feet and then some to count them all.
The voyage continues... and if my parents ever decide to show up to a Fur Con or event I am ready. Today has been a huge milestone. And while the world, being so full of bigotry may not be ready for me being 100% honest that I am "different" from what is deemed "normal" by society in some way...
I am not ashamed, and I never have been. But now it is time to stand my ground and not hide who I am.
I am sorry you felt so much shame related to the furry fandom... It is not really anything to be ashamed of! The fandom is a way of meeting people, and IMHO very cool people.
I used to tell the furs in back in Czech Rep... fandom is AWESOME! It's such a great place. And they were all like "oh, but the fetishes, the bad art, the whatever." I met so many cool people through the fandom and they truly changed my life - for the better. I love not having to take life too seriously and have fun!
Saying all that, I did not really ever sit down to explain furry fandom to my parents. It's not so much about being in the closet, it is more of... there's no point really. I do not think I can explain it easily. It's kind of like if I was to explain memory management to them... it's something I care about, yet something quite complex and specialized, not of mainstream interest.